GIRL GROUP | jjk

Chapter 39

Jamsil Indoor Stadium is not just a stadium at this moment. It's a sanctuary.

The fans' chanting echoes all throughout backstage, infiltrating past my costume and into my sinews. I feel their energy like it's a sweet drink I'm constantly sipping.

Nabi, Jesstina, and Jungkook are all getting their costumes checked and their makeup refreshed one last time. Ten minutes before showtime, we get into a huddle. Seven breaths. We share a look that tells magnitudes, and then I realize I need to say something leader-like.

"Let's do this for the four of us, and Yuna." I picture our original group member, who may be cheering us on from afar, or maybe not. "Let's show everyone all that we prepared. Let's show them just how strongly our fates are connected, to each other and to the fans."

Jungkook, Nabi, Jesstina, and I shout out our mantra. "Carve your own fate!"

"It's time to go," Kristine says, ushering us out to the stage's back entrance.

I lead the group, listening to the crowd hush as all the lights go dark. As the opening melody plays, I walk in a straight line through the middle of the screens, wearing my best focused, intense expression. The melody mixes violins, flutes, and a brooding bass guitar. I sense my members gathering on either side of me.

As the fans make us out over the smoke rising near our feet, the screams turn astronomical. I feel as thought the top of the arena will completely come off, blowing up with force like a shaken bottle of soda. Our recently released light stick, a rose blooming from a crown, looks like a massive wave of bouquets shaking from every corner of the arena. The lights alternate from pink to red to orange. They light up the faces of the fans, who we've decided to call our Destinies.

As I get into position for "Weavers," I catch a glance at Jungkook, who's the slightest bit tense before he melts into the lithe being of a performer.

"JUNGKOOK!" The word moves throughout the crowd like a spell. "It's Jungkook. He's back!" The fans lose their minds, coming to life at the realization that the Fates are truly back in business.

As I perform, moving to the practiced gestures and leaps and turns, I take it all in. The whole stadium is more alive than the meaning of the word. I can barely hear myself through my in-ears, but my voice is stable and melds perfectly with the voices of my members. The fans' cheering changes from just revolving around Jungkook to surrounding all four of us.

"Welcome, Destinies!" I say into my microphone once we finish our second song of the set, "Greek God." "We have a big treat for you tonight. Even though we only have five songs on the album, we prepared a bunch of covers that we think you'll enjoy quite a bit."

I can't help but wear a big grin when the fans wave their light sticks in my direction, as if confirming that they've heard me loud and clear.

When Jungkook brings the mic to his lips, I think at least a hundred people in the arena come close to fainting. "It's so good to be back in the Fates. Did I surprise you?"

As the concert continues, we perform "Is He?" and "Ocean in the Park" before moving on to our cover songs. Nabi and Jesstina cover "Lady Marmalade," and Jesstina stuns with her solo of "In the Name of Love" by Bebe Rexha. After, Nabi moves everyone to tears with Christina Perri's "Jar of Hearts."

Then it's my turn. I settle down with Jungkook as he plays the guitar, the set simple with only two wooden chairs—facing both each other and the crowd. As I sing Lady Gaga's "I'll Never Love Again," I can't help but watch Jungkook's fingers move across the strings—strong and delicate at the same time.

The crowd hushes, but as I finish, the volume reminds me of where I am. I'm performing with Jungkook, not singing to myself or to him in our practice room. As I peer out into the sea of thousands of faces, I remind myself how unbelievable it is that this is my job.

Jungkook takes center stage as he begins to belt out "Stand By You" by Rachel Platten. Nabi, Jesstina, and I stand behind him as backup singers, layering harmonies into his prolonged notes.

Then, we take places for our final song, "The Girl Who Flew."

As we sing, tears prickle my eyes, and they fall especially in the final thirty seconds of the song. As I try to hide my sobs, my members notice. The ballad digs deep into my bones, and I can't control the rush of emotion. I can't help it as I end up blocking out the cheers of encouragement from our fans with my crying.

Jungkook reaches me first, pulling me into a hug as the girls surround me. With their touch, I feel like I'm coming back to myself, wading through my emotions instead of sinking deep into them. I gaze out into the flashing crowd and give them my best smile—anything to tell them that these tears aren't because of sadness.

The Fates first concert is almost over. But I soak up the last few minutes as I wave to the crowd, trying to make out the faces—everyone who believes in me enough to lend me their time and energy. As much as I try to prolong the moment for as long as possible, the time comes to an end much too soon. I enter backstage again with the images of the crowned rose, the happy tears and the outbursts of joy.

So overwhelming that even hours later, I can hear the din of voices, lulling me away from all the doubts of my choice to become an idol.

A/N: I'm reflecting on my first concert experience ever while posting this chapter. I got to see TXT in Seoul in July of 2022. It was the most amazing time. I think about it so often.

I hope we all get our concert moment. Fighting!