GIRL GROUP | jjk

Chapter 3

It's not that I don't think BTS' suggestion has merit....

Okay. Maybe that's stretching it. I definitely think that Jungkook is not a good choice for a member of the Fates.

He's perfect, and that's the problem. But the main reason I'm against it is that Jungkook isn't a girl. The Fates were always meant to debut as four powerful young women, owning their confidence while strutting on stage with a mix of femininity and confidence. As the leader, I can't accept Jungkook's joining of our group. No matter how much BTS thinks it's a swell idea.

Nabi and Jesstina surround me on either side as we sweat and toil to Heart Seonsaengnim's harsh regime for today. We're polishing up the moves to our debut song, "Weavers."

Heart Seonsaengnim is Filipino and the first openly transgender dance instructor to join Moonscape. Not only is she a badass, she is the most talented dancer I know. Like her name suggests, she has the biggest heart of any teacher in the company. But that doesn't mean she's afraid to push us. With every new routine, she gives us more specific feedback and expects us to execute harder.

"C'mon girls!" she shouts above the synths in our debut song. "We're not going to crush the stage if we don't put a little more zest into it."

When I first moved to Korea from Chicago to pursue my dream of becoming an idol, I barely knew any Korean besides the little phrases I picked up while watching BTS videos. It was probably the hardest aspect to adjust to—the language barrier—but I slowly picked up more and more, until I could understand my instructors. There are some times when I have to ask Nabi or Jesstina to repeat themselves, but I am close to sounding like a native. My full name, Karma Chan, was a constant reminder that I'm Chinese American and didn't fully belong—I had to carve my own way.

That's something Jungkook never had to worry about.

I misstep on the second chorus and careen into Jesstina. She screams dramatically and flails her hands above her head. I duck and immediately gasp "Sorry, Jess!"

Heart Seonsaengnim leads us back into the routine, counting out the beats so that they can play in my mind like background music, like second nature.

Nabi stumbles on one of the harder steps. She yelps, bracing her fall with outstretched arms. Her knees crash against the floor with an audible crack that sounds incredibly painful. She rolls onto her side, and Jesstina and I are kneeling beside her in a moment. Heart Seonsaengnim rushes up to us, her pointed and symmetrical eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Are you okay?" I ask, watching the delicate planes of Nabi's face shift in pain. She is probably the prettiest of us four, with a small nose and face, and a jaw that follows the gentle curves of her eyes.

"I just—" Nabi has always been good at hiding her emotions, keeping her pain to herself. Now, it comes out rushing. Her tears fall hard and fast. "She's not responding to any of our messages. I just think Yuna should've told us herself. It's like she abandoned us."

Heart Seonsaengnim rushes off, probably to find the nearest tissue box. All I can do is rest a hand on Nabi's quivering shoulder. Jesstina is much better with words than I am, despite my being the leader. "She will find us again eventually." Her fist, held close to her chest, is barely wavering. "I'm sure of it. We just need to power through, and she'll return to us. We don't know whether her quitting is permanent."

I stare at Jesstina, jealous of her strength. Jesstina is half black and half Korean. At first, Nabi, Yuna, and I constantly praised her stunning beauty. But she told us to stop giving her compliments, and to start speaking our mind to her. I always remember the fire in her voice—the charisma that landed her a spot in our group in the first place.