Brewing the essence of love

Chapter 37

Koyal's POV

I was talking to Payal more like crying when the doorbell suddenly rang. I wonder who it was, at this time. I ended the call and quickly washed my face. When I opened the Vardhaan was standing there, looking somewhat tired. He was home before the office time ends. "Hey" I said as he entered the house. He tiredly sat on the sofa as he entered. "Hey" he replied as well. "Are you okay Vardhaan?" I asked as he was not as cheerful as the past two days. "I am okay, but are you? It seems as if you have cried a lot today." Hearing him I panicked. Was it visible from my face that I cried? Oh! God, "What no, its just that I, I used the khol and it did not suit my eyes." I lied in a jiff. He just nodded and said nothing after that.

Last night was so good, it was one of the best time of my life after mummy papa left. All was good, until I read Sonal bhabhi's message. I had called her for some advice yesterday noon, but she was busy and in the evening I was, so she had messaged me. After reading it I feel unworthy of Vardhaan.

"Koyal, you are being too selfish dear. Ever since you have married, your relationship has always been about you. I know, you have your own insecurities and issues but dear relationship doesn't work that way. For a marriage to work, both parties need to put in efforts, if its only one person trying it gets exhausting. I also had an arrange marriage, and in the initial months of my marriage your brother was same as you, cold, and soon I got tired and exhausted. This is the worst feeling one experiences in their relationship. Koyal you have a long distance I understand, but don't two strangers who meet through a dating app get comfortable with each other fall in love with each other despite having a huge distance between them? You know when your brother relized his mistake, I was on the verge of leaving him, don't push Vardhaan till that extent ever, cause if the matters get that worse, its very difficult to make things other way. You should have not taken 3 years to explain about Rahul to Vardhaan. Had I known about this mess of yours I would have made you sort things then only. When Vardhaan stopped texting or calling you, you could have tried. Its late now or maybe not. You are asking me and Payal and Adi bhaiya for advice when in reality all you want to hear is its okay, moveon, make a progress now. Whereas the reality of the matter is 3 years Koyal, you have wasted 3 years and in all this stuff all of us, whether its Vardhaan's parents or mummy papa, Adi bhaiya, Vivek or Dhruv all of us have been talking about you, and your feelings. In the amidst of this Vardhaan has been ignored. All of us are failing to notice that he too is a human too, and he might have expectations from you as well. You are being too cold and unfair here dear, had this been done by Vardhaan, would you feel good? No right so don't be like this with him. Apart from this I will not give you any advice Koyal on how to move forward your relationship right now because its you who has to take the very first step primarily. Its only who knows the reality of your relation the best. So first take the baby steps, put your own efforts first and then if you face problems, or feel like sharing then tell me. Koyal its not that I don't want to help you or that I want to make you feel bad, but sometimes its important to know things unsugar coated. From the beginning you have been told the facts sugar coated or all of us have been giving you advices commands which has lead your relation to be so fragile. So this time, do things on your own Koyal. Take care."

This was what she said, and I know she said the truth but it has scared me too the core. I know I haven't put much effort in my marriage but since the past month I have been attached to Vardhaan. I don't want to lose him. Last night I almost got a nightmare I never want to be a reality.

Its been a week now and Vardhaan is behaving strangely. He wakes up late, comes home from work late and with me he is the same but something doesn't feel right. I feel he is upset or something. He talks with me as usual but his smile, its missing. At times I feel like he is waiting for something, at every conversation's end I feel he is disappointed. He doesn't look like he used to look at me. I just hope what Sonal bhabhi said is not the case with Vardhaan and he is not exhausted. With him being like this it's more difficult to take any step.