Our Secret (Jolinsky)(BoyxBoy)

Ch.35

Should I end this book soon? Like probably Ch.45 or 50. Idk You tell me

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Jg Pov

I walked back to the waiting room with Julie after eating and talking about Jack.

 She told me everything. When I say everything I mean EVERYTHING.

She told  things like

-his cutting

-hid depression

-his anxiety

-his suicide attempts

Everything.. I cried at it all. All I know is my baby will wake up soon. When he does I don't even know what I'm going to do. I'm probably going to cry and kiss him and hug him but also be upset with him..

I don't really know how to feel about all this. Its nerve-wracking to know that he feels this way. I mean he told me that he's cut before but I didn't know he still did it...

Jj pov

I've been up for the past half hour... I know Jack is there waiting for me.

I know he's going to ask why I did it and a million other questions. I know he's probably not going to want to deal with me anymore.

So I can't look at him. I can't see him and not cry. He's the love of my life and I don't want to lose him... I probably will though..

Jg Pov

I'm sitting in the waiting room as my leg uncontrollably shakes. Suddenly I remember he wrote letters. I look at the three envelopes but my name isn't on any of them. Maybe he was writing one for me when he passed out from the drugs..

I look to the top of it to see my name. I begin reading it.

Dear Jack,

Thank you.

Thank you for talking to me that one day.

Thank you for liking me regardless of my stupidity.

Thank you for being so understanding.

Thank you for being you.

I can't even think of a world without you now. But I mean like you're going to have to live without me.

Keep me in your heart when you grow up, have an amazing singing career, get married and have kids.

Don't blame this on yourse-

I'm crying again...I will always blame myself for this.. I know he says this isn't my fault but I feel like it is at the same time.. If I would have known I could have helped in some sort of way...

Suddenly, I feel a hand rest on my shoulder. I look up to see Jeff?

"Jack... What's going on? Why are you here? Your prom was tonight wasn't it? Where's my little brother?"

"He..uhm... he's uh.." I stutter out.

"He what Jack?!" Jeff asks frustrated.

"He tried commiting suicide..." I bury my face in my hands and sob violently again.

"WHAT? SERIOUSLY?!"

"Yeah, He wrote you a letter... I caught him just in time and they said they could save him.."  

I pass him the envelope with his name on it.

"Thank you. Why wasn't he with you at prom though? He like non-stop talked about it."

"He said he wasn't feeling well and that your mom was home making sure he was okay. I didn't want to trust me but he told me he wanted lots of pictures and he would be really upset if not so I had too...I-I'm S-sorry..I should have been there.. I should have known..."

I go back to weeping as Jeff rubs my back and reads his letter.

I look up slightly and see that he's crying and his girlfriend comes over.

"Babe we can go n- What happened? Why are you crying love?" She looks at us both.

"J-jack tried to c-commit suicide... Babe... What am I supposed to do? I couldn't keep him happy. He's my little brother what the fuck I suck so bad..."

"It's my fault to Jeff don't beat yourself up on it. Go home and get some rest. I will bring him over tomorrow  If they let him out. I promise."

He nods and gets up not before hugging me tightly.

"Thank you for loving him.." I hear Jeff say and walk away with his girlfriend.

Instantaneously Julie comes out.

"Jack? You can go see him now. Good luck. Stay strong and don't pressure him into telling you anything. He'll tell you at his own pace."

I nod and hug her.

I dash to his room and open the door.

I walk in to see him watching TV.

"Hey..." I say.

He looks over to me and smiles sadly.

"Hi.. Uhm..." 

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So I was really proud of the first essay I wrote and I was all pumped. I was told it was good by multiple people and than I only got and 85%... Like oh what happened to "Oh your 85% in this class could get to a 95% no problem."?

RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL.

But I like that class anyways because of reasons ;)

Were writing ghetto/modern/reprises of the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet and all I can say is mine and my friends is called 'The Balcony Scene Bitches' Aha ha.

Maybe I'll post the script on an authors note or something. ahah