High school au
9am
The email on whether you got into your chosen college or not, was coming out and you weren't prepared for what's to come.
You were excited to do great things in your life, like learning your favourite subject and meeting new people. You were working at a grocery store, saving up money to pay for college. Matt, your boyfriend, already knew that he'd been accepted into his chosen college because they sent him a welcome package by accident. You were so proud of him.
Matt worked hard on his tests, and his hard work paid off. You worked as hard as you could, but a lot happened this year that made it hard to focus. Your brother died three months ago and your parents got divorced. You tried your hardest to support yourself, seeing as your parents forgot you existed.
Your phone buzzed, scaring you into thinking it was from your college, but it was Matt.
Matt: good luck today x
You'd been on the phone all night with Matt talking about your future. You both applied to the same college and now you were hoping you'd get your first choice too. You didn't want to leave him, you didn't want to be anywhere without him.
You didn't reply just yet, because the clock struck.
You sat in your bed, feeling nervous. You opened your emails and saw that you didn't have any new ones. You sighed, convincing yourself there was a delay with acceptance emails since there was too many to send out.
Matt: let me know how it goes
You started biting your nails as you counted down the seconds. Nothing. You refreshed and refreshed the page, starting to think the worst. You wanted to do well. To prove to yourself you can do this.
You then got an email, but it wasn't what you hoped. It was from your high school teacher, so you opened it. The anxiety rushing through your body .
'Dear Y/N,
I am sorry to send you this email, but unfortunately you didn't meet the requirements for your chosen colleges. Your grades weren't high enough for the schools you applied for, but I'd be happy to talk you through other options'
You dropped your phone on the bed and started crying. You felt so much pain knowing that you failed. This was an important stepping stone and you had missed it and fallen in deep that it was impossible to climb out of this.
You cried more because you let Matt down. Those talks of attending the same college, were just dreams. You cried harder because you feel like you met your parents down more. They should be happy for you today, but they were sad and disappointed.
You applied to three colleges and none of them wanted you. That really showed you how much of a failure you were. Matt deserves better than you, you thought. He deserves someone who can achieve something in life.
It made you feel worse when you checked your phone and the notifications.
Matt: don't leave me hanging!
Matt: I'm dying here
Matt: babe, everything okay?
Matt: call me
Your parents messages were a lot different.
Mom: your teacher called. This isn't good enough, Y/N
Dad: work harder next time
You hadn't left your bedroom, but you moved from your bed to your desk. You had books in front of you, studying for the tests you'd have to retake. You didn't text Matt back, or your parents.
"Y/N!" Your dad called from downstairs. "Matt's here!" You sighed, not wanting to face Matt right now. You couldn't bare to see the look on his face when he found out you failed.
"Tell him I'm busy" you yelled back, looking back at your books.
"Since when are you too busy for me?" Matt's voice broke through the room, making you freeze
"Right now" I said, trying my best to keep calm, but your heart was pounding. You didn't face him, not wanting him to see you had been crying.
"Babe, come on-"
"Matt, just go! Please!" You yelled, turning to face him, but unfortunately tears started to roll down your face again. You didn't want him to leave at all, but he deserved better than to be here.
"Woah! Hey, babe-" Matt moved towards you, but he was cut off by your Dad's voice.
"Is everything okay in here?" Your Dad asked, noticing you were crying, but he didn't care enough to ask about it. He stood there, with his arms crossed, ready to kick Matt out if he had to.
"She's just upset. We're okay" Matt said, but you weren't okay and you probably wouldn't ever be. Your hands shook and Matt stood close enough, to take his hand in yours, letting you know he was there and he wasn't leaving anytime soon
"Yeah, it's been a disappointing morning" your dad said, making you drop your head.
"Disappointing?" Matt questioned, looking down at you, seeing you were shaking with sobs. He knew that whatever was happening, he would stay with you until your pain was gone.
"Y/N didn't tell you?" Your Dad asked and Matt shook his head. "She failed. She didn't get any offers and she failed her tests. Now, we're going to have to live with the burden of failure" he explained, making your heart hurt.
Matt squeezed your hand and kissed your forehead. It was simple, but your heart healed a little bit. He stood up, turning to face your Dad, slightly blocking you.
"Sir, you know I respect you as a person" Matt started and your Dad nodded. "But I'm finding it hard to respect you as her dad right now. This year was hard, I know that. But have you ever stopped to check on your daughter? You lost a son, she lost a brother and both of her parents. I don't blame her for messing up, and neither should you"
Your Dad stared at Matt and then past him to where you were standing at your desk, holding Matt like a safety blanket.
"Excuse me" your Dad cleared his throat, with tears in his eyes and walked out of the room. As soon as he left, you bent over and sobbed into your hands. This had to be the worst feeling.
Matt kneeled down beside you, cupping your face in his hands, letting you cry for a few minutes. He was aware that when you're crying, you preferred to let it out before you talked to anyone.
"I'm sorry" you hiccuped, tilting your head back down to avoid the look on his face.
Matt stroked your cheek and guided your face up to meet his.
"Don't do that. Don't say sorry" he said. "Promise me you won't feel guilty for this"
"I let so many people down" you sighed, leaning into Matt's hand more. He smiled, liking how you weren't pushing him away.
"Hey, stop that. You didn't let anyone down" you shook your head at his words, but he didn't let you believe for a second you were in the wrong. "Babe, listen to me. I don't know what anyone else who has gone through what you have and still pull yourself together enough to sit the tests. You clearly care about your work and your future, that alone proves how you could never let anyone down"
"I wanted to do something worthy for once" you had tears in your eyes, thinking about how nothing this year was a success for you.
"Loving me is something you are always worthy of doing. It's the greatest honour to be loved by you, honey" he brought his hand to your lips and giving them a soft kiss.
"Not even someone who can't get into college?" You laughed, trying to joke but clearly Matt didn't find it as funny as you did.
"Never. And I mean that. If you never go to college, that's okay. You can go anywhere you want"
"What if I wanted to go to Walmart and drown my sorrow in ice cream?" You asked, kneeling down in front of Matt.
"You're a goof, you know that?" He laughed, looking into your eyes and your lips, like he couldn't focus on one thing.
"A goof you'll keep forever?"
"More than forever"
