Nowhere || Beomjun | yeongyu ||

Chapter 18: Ugly love

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Beomgyu was walking back home, feeling utterly bewildered. It was as if his heart had stopped beating, and he couldn't tell if it still thudded within his chest.

He felt numb, like his head was buried in the sand, disconnected from reality.

Everything appeared dull and lifeless; his complexion seemed paler, his eyes held an emptiness, and it felt as though he had lost everything. He did. It's a heart-wrenching tragedy how destiny can shatter someone repeatedly.

It seemed as though they were fated to be each other's undoing, caught in a never-ending cycle of destruction. Perhaps there would be no escape for them unless they-

"Beomgyu?!"

A voice suddenly pierced through Beomgyu's thoughts, calling his name. It was Yeonjun's voice. Beomgyu was just about to enter the house, but he froze in his tracks. He didn't want to appear suspicious, so he turned slightly to see Yeonjun approaching with a warm smile on his face. Thoughts raced through Beomgyu's mind. Would Yeonjun smile the same way if he ever discovered who Beomgyu truly was? Deep down, Beomgyu knew the answer. That warm smile would likely vanish.

Beomgyu tried to force a smile, but it felt impossible. Standing before him, someone he thought had vanished years ago, Prince Daniel. "Are you okay?" Yeonjun asked once more, moving closer to Beomgyu. All Beomgyu could manage was a nod as he quietly entered the house.

Yeonjun felt concerned about Beomgyu's strange behavior. After entering the house, he noticed Beomgyu heading straight for his bed. "Are you going to sleep?" Yeonjun inquired, but Beomgyu simply nodded without making eye contact. He lay down on his bed and closed his eyes, a series of frantic thoughts racing through his mind.

As Beomgyu gradually opened his eyes, he saw Yeonjun's face hovering above him. Surprisingly, it didn't startle him. Yeonjun's lips gently touched Beomgyu's forehead. Beomgyu's heart felt like it was either racing wildly or completely numb. Tears welled up in his eyes. When Yeonjun pulled back, he spoke softly, "You just woke up... I don't know why you're sleeping again, but sleep well." He even managed a smile, a smile Beomgyu would do anything to see. Yes, anything.

Yeonjun noticed the tears glistening in Beomgyu's eyes. A sinking feeling washed over him. This wasn't good.

"Hey, Gyu?" Yeonjun placed his hand on Beomgyu's head, confirming his suspicion that Beomgyu had a fever. Beomgyu was burning up, and Yeonjun could feel it while kissing his forehead. "You're boiling," he exclaimed with concern.

Beomgyu closed his eyes, tears welling up as he fought back the pain. He managed to whisper, "It's okay." But Yeonjun couldn't accept that. He shook his head vigorously, saying, "It's not fine."

Yeonjun took a seat beside Beomgyu on the bed and held his hands. For Beomgyu, it was torture being so close to him, feeling his touch. It was already agonizing, and it was only getting worse.

Yeonjun stood up and fetched some painkillers and fever reducers from the kitchen. When he returned, he noticed tears streaming down Beomgyu's red cheeks, even though Beomgyu's eyes remained tightly shut. Yeonjun approached gently and wiped away the tears. However, as his fingers touched Beomgyu's cheeks, Beomgyu flinched and instinctively moved his face away from Yeonjun's touch. Something was definitely amiss, and Yeonjun couldn't ignore it.

"Take these pills, Beomgyu," Yeonjun instructed, his tone firm but concerned. Beomgyu followed the command, swallowing the pills with a sip of water, and then laid back down, squeezing his eyes shut. Yeonjun contemplated the situation, wondering if Beomgyu was missing someone or if he was just exhausted.

Yeonjun let out a deep sigh and stretched out beside Beomgyu on the bed. He noticed Beomgyu's tear-streaked face, he was totally weeping at that point. Yeonjun couldn't bear to see him like that for some reason. He pulled a blanket over both of them and gently wrapped his arm around Beomgyu's waist, drawing him closer in a comforting embrace.

Beomgyu's ragged, broken breaths washed over Yeonjun's face, hot with fever and heavy with emotion. Beomgyu was trembling, caught in the throes of his own misery. Yeonjun gently tilted their heads closer.

Then, it happened – Beomgyu's emotional dam burst. Tears flowed unchecked down his cheeks, no longer held back. He surrendered to his feelings, his arm that had clung to his own waist now seeking comfort around Yeonjun's waist. His fingers gripped the fabric of Yeonjun's shirt.

in response, Yeonjun's hand continued its soothing motion, gently caressing Beomgyu's back as he wept. He might never truly comprehend the depth of Beomgyu's pain, but in that moment, he was determined to be there for him. Beomgyu's heart was shattering into countless shards, each one a painful reminder of his torment. Him being there for him didn't changed The fact that yeonjun waited 14 years to kill him .

14 years...

Yeonjun cradled Beomgyu's head, drawing him even nearer until his face was nestled in the curve of his chest. Beomgyu's tears still flowed, and Yeonjun couldn't help but wonder what had caused it.. Beomgyu had never cried like this before, even when yeonjun treated him like shit.

Yeonjun's behavior around Beomgyu was a stark departure from his usual character. He found himself wanting to be kind, to care for Beomgyu, and to be genuinely curious about him. This person he was around Beomgyu was different from his usual self; he wanted to do good things for him, and the truth was he loved him. Yeonjun had realized it that day when he had kissed Beomgyu back. He desired him, and he loved him deeply. Seeing Beomgyu cry like this was shattering his heart too.

Every time Beomgyu felt nervous around Yeonjun, it only deepened his love for him. Whenever he tried to impress Yeonjun, his love grew stronger. It was the day he made noodles for Yeonjun – yes, it was these little things that had brought them to this point.

The point of destruction.

"Beomgyu?" Yeonjun whispered in Beomgyu's ear. Beomgyu tilted his head slightly to look up at Yeonjun's face. Yeonjun then rested his chin on Beomgyu's head and softly said, "I love you, Beomgyu."

Oh, Are you asking me how much those three words hurt? Why did they feel like a sword to the chest for Beomgyu? 

Authors note: sorry guys i'm not very consistent with uploading chapters and they are short nowadays. i was kinda busy with some things but i'll try my best to update regularly. Atleast 2 long chapters a week.

i cried while writing:((((