It's Complicated

Chapter 18

Sophie stared at me with her mouth hanging open.

"I don't know what the hell I was thinking."

I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I no longer had the energy to stop them.

"Okay come here," Sophie grabbed my shoulders and brought me over to sit on the couch.

She sat down next to me and faced me, "alright WHAT now? Tell me what happened."

I took a deep breath and tried to explain to her what had just gone on.

"Jamie asked me to go to the gym with her after work today, so I thought it would be a good chance to get to know her, you know."

Sophie nodded and waited for me to continue.

"So we did that, and we uh..." I paused for a second and Sophie raised an eyebrow at me. "We did some...stuff...in the locker room shower."

Sophie's eyes grew wide as she said, "okay we're going to revisit THAT later, but anyway."

A small smile came across my face, before the reality of what was going on hit me again. I sighed and continued on.

"Anyway, Jamie asked me to come over to her place so she could make us dinner. We did that and everything was fine."

I stopped and looked down at my fidgeting hands in my lap. Sophie sat in silence and waited patiently for me to keep going.

"We were sitting on her couch talking...and kissing, and the front door opened and some guy came walking in. He had keys and everything, it's not like he broke in. No one was saying anything, so I asked who he was."

I stopped again, feeling the tears start to come back. Sophie put her hand on my leg to comfort me.

"He said uh, he said he was her husband, and asked who I was."

"Shit Cas," Sophie said with a shocked look on her face. "I'm really sorry. What did Jamie do during all of this?"

"She asked him what he was doing there...and then he said he had apparently interrupted 'another one of her fuck buddies.'"

I put my face in my hands and said in a muffled voice, "I'm such a fucking idiot Sophie."

"Hey come on, no you're not," she said as she wrapped me into a hug.

"Why did I let myself start to have feelings for her? And why the hell did I think some random girl I hooked up with in a club was going to turn in to anything? I mean I've barely known her for 2 weeks, for fucks sake."

"Come on Cas, you can't blame yourself for any of this," Sophie said.

"I just feel so stupid for falling for any of it. She probably pulls this shit all of the time."

I rubbed my eyes and sat back against the couch. "I rushed in to all of this way too fast. I shouldn't have done anything with her in the first place, shouldn't have given her the time of day after that...hell maybe I shouldn't have even broken up with Callan."

"Okay I'm gonna have to stop you there," Sophie interjected. "Callan was boring, let's not go that far."

I shrugged, "I just don't know what I was thinking."

"Obviously none of this is okay for her to do, but did she even try to explain herself or anything?" Sophie asked.

"She tried to," I started, "but I didn't let her, I left. I had to get out of there."

Sophie nodded, "understandable," she said. She stood up from the couch and looked at me. "Alright so you want me to go kick her ass now or later?"

I laughed and shook my head, Sophie always knew how to cheer me up. "Not even worth it Soph, I'm just done."

"Not to throw a wrench in that plan," Sophie started, "but don't you still have to work on the same case as her for a while?"

My head fell into my hands again, "fuck, yes you're right I do."

"Well...don't yell at me for saying this," Sophie said hesitantly, "but maybe it would help if you heard what she had to say."

I narrowed my eyes at Sophie, waiting for her to explain herself.

"Look Cas, I'm not telling you that you need to forgive her or believe what she's saying. It just might help you deal with it and deal with her at work if you hear her out."

"You might be right," I sighed, "but I'm just so done with her and all of this, I don't know if I can do it."

"I know," Sophie said reassuringly, "just think about it."

"I just don't want anything to do with her anymore Soph. I went way out of my comfort zone for her and she fucked me over."

Sophie sat back down on the couch next to me and put an arm around my shoulders.

"It probably didn't even mean anything to her," I continued, just wanting to get everything off my chest. "Probably just another one of her fuck buddies, you know, like her husband said."

"Give yourself a little more credit than that Cas, she's a fuck up but from what you've said it doesn't sound like it was nothing."

"I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse," I said. "I don't know, I think I just need to go home and try to sleep."

"Are you sure you're good?" Sophie asked, "you know you can stay here if you need to."

I nodded, "I'll be fine, just need to try and get some sleep so I can function at work tomorrow."

"Okay," Sophie said as we both got up, "but promise me you'll call me if you need anything."

"I will," I responded.

"And promise me that if anyone gets to kick Jamie's ass it's me, okay?"

I smiled at her and pulled her in for a hug. "Thanks Soph, I'll call you tomorrow."

I got back in my car and drove home on autopilot. By the time I got inside and looked at my phone, I had a number of missed calls and texts from Jamie.

Fuck I did not have the energy for this right now. I quickly glanced over them, all of the messages asking me to let her explain and apologizing over and over again.

I tossed my phone down and got ready for bed. I hadn't even began to tackle the voicemails yet, those would have to wait.

Not surprisingly, I had a hard time falling asleep. I decided to listen to Jamie's messages, which definitely didn't help.

"Cas can you please just call me and let me explain, I'm so sorry."

"Please just hear me out, I know I fucked up, okay?"

"Cas...I'm not going to be able to let this go, I need to talk to you."

I'd never heard Jamie sound so desperate before. It made me wonder if Sophie was right and I did need to let her explain herself. I just didn't know if I could do that without falling into her trap again.

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