It's Complicated

Chapter 34

I stared at Sophie with my mouth hanging open, trying to form the words to respond.

"Still - love - I was never, what?!" I stammered.

"How long have we been best friends for Cas? I know it when I see it, just trust me," Sophie said.

"Fuck this is too much to handle with this much alcohol in my system," I said as I rubbed my face.

"Why don't you just go home and think about it, we don't need Liv coming for your throat again tonight," Sophie said with a grin.

"But...Alex," I said quietly, looking down at the ground.

Sophie put her arm around my shoulders and walked with me towards the door. "I know," she said. "Take your drunk little self home and worry about this tomorrow."

I nodded and let Sophie help me outside to an Uber. My car could wait until tomorrow.

"I love youuuu," I said to Sophie out the window of my Uber.

"Love you too weirdo," she said. "By the way, I'm not sure how you managed to get drunker than the birthday girl but you're going to have to make up for it when you see me tomorrow."

"Deal!" I said as I pointed at Sophie.

She waved to me as the car drove off.

I got home and immediately crawled into bed. Alex was already fast asleep and I did my best to keep my stumbling to a minimum so I wouldn't wake him.

I woke up late the next morning and was still feeling a little groggy. I felt like now was the time to talk to Alex. As much as I didn't want to do it, I had to get it over with.

I walked towards the kitchen and could hear him rummaging around.

"Hey Alex, can I talk to -" I stopped mid sentence when I got into the kitchen and saw his suitcases by the door.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I walked over to him.

He sighed and came over and took my hands. "Cas, I think we both know this is what needs to happen."

"No Alex I - " I didn't even know where I was going or what I was trying to say.

"Hey," he said calmly, "I'm not mad, I know this was unexpected and you didn't do any of it on purpose...but I can tell what's going on."

"I'm - I'm so sorry Alex, I feel terrible," I said as I began to tear up.

"Cas it's okay, it sucks but we'll both be okay," Alex said.

"I didn't want any of this to happen," I said quietly.

"I know," he responded, "and I know you've been trying not to let it."

I wiped a tear away from my eye, standing there and feeling like there was nothing I could do about how terrible I felt.

I took my ring off of my finger and held it in my hand for a minute before I handed it back to Alex. He took it and slid it in his pocket.

"I'm really sorry that all of this happened, I can't believe I messed up something that was this good." I felt like I couldn't look at Alex as I apologized again.

He came over and pulled me into a tight hug. "It's okay Cas, we'll be fine."

He kissed the top of my head and let me go, turning to grab his bags.

I stood there with tears continuing to fill my eyes and an overwhelming feeling of guilt.

"Bye Alex," I said with a small wave.

He turned and gave me a slight smile as he walked out of the door.

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