It's Complicated

Chapter 26

The next day at work I went in to talk to my boss, Jason, first thing in the morning.

I knocked on his door and he motioned me in.

"Cas," he started before I even sat down, "I know what you're going to ask and there really isn't anything I can do about it."

"I -" I started, "yeah that's what I wanted to talk about," I said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry, I really am," Jason said. "The other firm isn't budging on this, so this is the only way to keep you both out of trouble."

I stood there for a minute, trying to think of another solution, but nothing was coming to me.

"Unless you're okay with Miss Callahan losing her job that is?" Jason said as he interrupted my thoughts.

"No, no," I said quickly, "I was just trying to think of options."

Jason shook his head, "this is the only one Cas."

He put his head down and began writing on his notepad on his desk. "We'll get everything taken care of with your transfer by the end of the week," he said without looking up.

The end of the week?! I thought, I'm not sure this could be turning out any worse than it currently was.

Not only would I have to leave Jamie, but I was going to have to leave behind Sophie as well. I knew we would still communicate, but it just wasn't the same.

I had to tell Jamie eventually, but I was avoiding it for as long as I could. She asked me about it a few times and I had to tell her I hadn't heard anything yet.

That weekend I knew I couldn't avoid it any longer, my time at my current firm was all but done, and Jamie would obviously notice if I wasn't there anymore.

We were over at Jamie's apartment when I finally broke the news to her.

"Jamie," I sighed.

"I don't like that look Cas," she said.

"I have to transfer to the California office, they wouldn't give me any other option," I said, feeling absolutely defeated.

Jamie walked over to me, looking shocked and shaking her head. "No you can't, I mean there has to be - there's other offices way closer - why can't you just -"

I grabbed her hands and cut off her stammering, "believe me when I tell you that I tried every other option there was, they won't budge."

I saw tears start to well up in Jamie's eyes, and I felt terrible. I knew it wasn't my fault but I hated seeing her this upset.

"What are we going to do?" Jamie asked quietly.

I had been thinking all week about the answer to this question, and there just didn't seem to be a good one.

I struggled to even say this to Jamie, but I knew it was really my only option.

"Whatever this is or has been between us, it's become very clear that it's just not meant to be."

Jamie's sadness seemed to turn into anger. She scowled at me, looking confused. "So you're just...giving up?" She asked.

"No Jamie, I just - I don't know. Look at all of the shit we've put each other through in just a couple of months."

I thought she might agree, but she kept silent. "Do you think it's really a good idea for either of us to try to do this if we live on opposite ends of the country?" I continued.

"Did you ever even care Cas?" Jamie asked me angrily.

I shook my head at her, "don't do this Jamie, it's hard enough already, please don't make it worse."

"So it looks like this was all just a drunken experiment for you, huh?" Jamie said as she kept her eyes narrowed on mine.

I had stayed calm this whole time, but I couldn't do it anymore.

"An experiment? Jamie are you kidding me?" My voice began to raise and I felt my face getting hotter by the second.

"Do you really think I'd be doing this if I had any other fucking choice?" I yelled.

I breathed heavily as I kept my eyes locked on hers, still shocked that she had said what she did.

"I just think you should go," Jamie said.

"Jamie," I started, my voice softening. I wanted this to go so differently than it had, but I knew there was no changing it now.

"Alright, I'll go," I conceded.

I walked out the door, wishing she would stop me and we could at least end things on a good note, but it didn't happen.

I called Sophie on my way home and I was almost in tears as I told her what had happened.

"Shit Cas, I'm so sorry," she said. "Do you need me to come over tonight and help you get anything ready for tomorrow?"

"I don't think so," I sighed. "Unless you can help me go back and redo the last few hours so it's not such a fucking nightmare."

"I wish I could," Sophie said, "I know that's obviously not how you wanted things to go."

"Not even close," I replied. "Alright Soph I'm almost back home, I better go."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow morning," Sophie said.

The next morning I had finished packing my things up and was on my way to Sophie's so she could take me to the airport. I couldn't believe how fast my life had just been upended.

Once I got to her house, we had packed almost everything in the car and were doing a few last minute checks. Sophie walked by the front window to grab something and she stopped.

"Uhhh Cas," she said.

"Yeah?" I responded.

"Jamie is walking up to my door."

"Shit," I said as I quickly stepped into a room off to the side.

"You have to tell her I'm already gone Soph, I can't do this again and I'll miss my flight if I do."

Sophie looked back at me and nodded just as there was a knock on the door.

"Jamie, hey," I heard Sophie say dryly.

"Hey Sophie," Jamie said, "I'm really sorry to just show up, but does Cas happen to be here?"

I tried to watch from the room I was in, and I saw Sophie shake her head.

"She left already, I took her to the airport earlier today."

"What??" Jamie said loudly. "She's gone already?"

"Yup," Sophie replied.

"Shit - I didn't know..." Jamie trailed off.

"Hey Jamie," Sophie said. I could see Jamie look up at her. "For what it's worth, she really does care about you, you know."

Sophie was the only one who knew that half of the reason I was leaving was so Jamie didn't lose her job. For a second I was worried she was going to tell her, but she stopped there.

"Fuck," I heard Jamie say as I saw her put her hand in her face, "I know she does."

She let out a deep sigh before continuing, "well I'm sorry again for just stopping by like this, thanks Sophie."

"See you later," Sophie said.

She shut the front door and I quietly stepped out and watched her walk back to her car.

Sophie turned to me, "you good?" She asked.

I shrugged, "guess so," I said.

She came over and put her arm around my shoulders. "Come on Cas, let's get you to the airport."

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