It's Complicated

Chapter 33

"What??" I asked, more out of shock than anything.

Alex turned over to face me. "Jamie...do you still have feelings for her?"

"I - Alex I don't -" I stumbled over my words, trying to find the right answer.

"Hey," he said quietly as he grabbed my hands, "I'm not mad okay, I just need to know."

Damn it why did he have to be so understanding.

I sighed, still not sure what to say. "I really didn't think I did. I haven't thought about any of this in years. But, this whole situation now..." I trailed off.

Alex stayed quiet, letting me finish.

"I honestly don't know what I'm feeling Alex. It's such a mess."

I saw him nod slightly as he let go of my hands, "we can talk about it more tomorrow."

He rolled back over and we laid there in silence. I really did love Alex, and I hated that I was doing this to him.

I didn't sleep much that night. I couldn't stop tossing and turning and running everything through my mind. I wanted to be happy with Alex and forget about Jamie, but I just wasn't sure if that was possible.

A few days after the whole incident, I was surprised that Jamie hadn't tried to contact me. Maybe she was trying to sort through everything like I was.

Alex and I hadn't been talking much, and the trend continued as we both got ready for work that morning without a word. I appreciated him giving me time to figure things out, but his silence was also concerning.

"See you tonight?" I said to him as I grabbed my purse and keys.

He nodded, "I'll be home late tonight though."

"On a Friday?" I asked.

"Yeah, we have a big project we're working on that we have to get done today," he said.

"Oh, okay. I'll see you later then." I responded quietly.

"Have a good day babe," he said as I walked out the door.

I couldn't help but wonder if he was purposely staying late at work to avoid everything.

My work was a good distraction for most of the day. That afternoon I got a text from Sophie.

"Ready for tonight?!"

Her birthday was tomorrow and we were going out tonight to celebrate.

"Can't wait!" I replied.

"I have a VIP room reserved for us at the club 💃🏻" Sophie said.

"Ooo even better! See you in a while"

I finished up the day at work and went home to get ready for Sophie's birthday celebration. If there was ever a time that I felt like I needed a good night out, it was tonight.

I got to the club and they directed me back to the large VIP area that Sophie had reserved.

Damn, I thought, she really went all out.

"Cas!" I heard Sophie yell as she ran up and hugged me.

"Hey Soph!" I said, hugging her back. "Quite the party you have going here."

She nodded excitedly as I looked around. There was a large group of people dancing, talking and drinking.

About an hour later, we were all a couple of drinks (and maybe a couple of shots) in. Sophie and I were dancing with a group of our friends and feeling pretty good.

"Cheers to the birthday girrrrrl!" I said loudly as I raised my drink up to Sophie.

I brought my glass back down and went to take a sip, but I was stopped mid drink when Jamie and Olivia walked into the room. I knew this wasn't by chance, there was a list of people who were allowed in the VIP room and Jamie had to be on it.

I immediately looked over at Sophie, "Sophie...what did you do??"

She took a sip of her drink and shrugged as she looked at me over the top of her glass. She turned and maneuvered her way into the middle of the crowd before I could grab her.

"Sophie!" I yelled after her, but it was useless. The music was too loud and she was now in the middle of a big group of people.

I started to move towards them and go after her, but I felt a hand grab my wrist. I quickly turned around and almost ran into Jamie.

She put her hands on my shoulders to stop me and I stood there and looked at her. She leaned in close to my ear so I could hear her over the loud music. "I'm so sorry Cas, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you that sooner."

Between being brought back to our time together by Jamie's intoxicating scent, and the alcohol already in my system, I wasn't thinking straight. I didn't know what to say.

"Why didn't you tell me about the job before?" She asked, staying close to my ear.

I tossed my hands up as I shrugged, "Jamie I've had too much to drink to talk about this right now."

She still had her hands on my shoulders and she kept her gaze on mine. "I just want to know why," she said.

I felt like I was in a trance as we stood there, closer than we'd been in a long time.

"I - I knew you'd tell me to stay, and you would've lost your job. I didn't want that to happen," I said.

"Cas it's just a job, I wish you would've told me all of this sooner," Jamie responded.

"I know but -" I started, I tried to make sense of my thoughts, but my brain still didn't seem like it was fully functioning.

Jamie's blue eyes stayed locked on mine as she took a step closer to me. It almost felt like we were back in the club where we first met.

"Jamie..." I said slowly, feeling my pulse quicken.

Something caught my eye over Jamie's shoulder and I realized that Olivia was glaring at us. I reached up and took Jamie's hands off my arms and took a step back.

"Your girlfriend is looking for you," I said as I nodded towards Olivia.

"My - what? Oh right, Olivia," she stumbled over her words as she turned around and walked towards her.

I went over to the bar and leaned up against it, taking a deep breath. I hadn't felt like that in a long time.

I was getting ready to order another drink when I heard my name from behind me. I turned around and Olivia was standing there scowling at me.

"What do you want?" I asked, my filter was completely gone at this point.

"I want you to stay the hell away from Jamie is what I want," she snapped at me. "She doesn't need you ruining her life again."

I raised my eyebrows at her, "excuse me, what the fuck did you just say to me?"

Olivia took a step towards me and opened her mouth to respond, but she was cut off by Sophie.

"Okay, okay, I think we've had enough of that," Sophie said as she quickly grabbed me and pulled me away.

"Sophie why the hell did you invite her?" I asked.

"I didn't!" Sophie said, "I invited Jamie, her bringing Liv along was not part of the plan!"

"Oh so you had a whole plan huh?" I wasn't sure if I should be angry at Sophie or grateful for what she was trying to do.

"Cas, I really hate to say this, because I love Alex, I really do," she paused, hesitating to say whatever she was trying to next. "But you're still in love with that girl."

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