The Mechanics of The Heart (Unedited)

24

Bullet

I watched her face fall grim, the small smile fighting its way on to her face washed away completely with a gut wrenching look of utter agony, she looked like someone had stabbed her in the stomach.

"Amara-" I almost flinched, dark brown eyes blinked at me. Glossed with a wave of unshed tears and the sudden broken look on her face, filled to the brim in her eyes cut through me like a blade. It was like seeing her in front of the motel again but the sarcastic remarks and light banter was draped over her like a coat, hiding.

Now in front of me, by whatever words being spoken to her through her phone had stripped her bare. The amused flare in her eyes that seemed permanent at first was dimmed out. Her brown eyes seeming a lot darker now, I clenched my fist, my jaw biting down on itself.

"Give me the phone." She blinked again, the space between her eyebrows crinkling in confusion. Her chest heaved as a sound erupted from her throat like she was trying to hold back a sob before she shook her head. I watched her pull it from her face, her curls pulled back giving me the perfect view of the red blotches populating her neck and crawling up her cheeks, her tawny skin should make it almost unnoticeable but I noticed.

Hanging up the phone I watched her shut the device down immediately.

"Are you okay?"

"Um, I dont know." Her answer seemed hallow yet honest as she stared at the air between us. Like she clicked herself over to autopilot, my mind was working against itself to stop the onslaught of assumptions filled with horrors.

Always programmed to assume the worse.

"What happened?" I was prying now, I knew it and felt like I was edging the line of a boundary. It was not as if I had given the girl any reason to trust me, hell, she had not too long ago apologized because I was being a dick. I glanced to the side, Bears office door ajar, still awaiting my presence for what I assumed was a lecture. Then to the front desk where Razor's head was tucked into his arms, the wire from his ear phones twirling in his fingers. Half not expecting an answer and half hoping she trusted me enough to say something.

"My uh advisor from John Hopkins calling to tell me i've been officially withdrawn from my classes. Which means my scholarship will be void which in being makes me a college drop out- officially." Something between a sob and a chuckle bubbled out of her, fat, wet and fast tears spilled over and raced down her face and dripped to the floor.

"I-" My mouth closed, my tongue lost for words. Her reaction itself seemed conflicted, both relieved and distraught to hear the words. "Are you okay?" I felt like a jackass asking her that again, but I wouldve felt worse not saying anything at all.

She chuckled, honestly this time. Wiping the tears off her face as she nodded. "Yeah Bullet, Ill be okay."

I stared at her, taking in the redness in her face, the wetness coating her lashes, clumped and hanging low over tired, red ringed eyes. She sniffled, staring back at me with the same sad eyes.
"What?" She wiped her nose, crinkling her eye brows again.

"I dont believe you." I spoke low, the light tapping of Razors feet to the music only he could hear echoed back to us for a pregnant silence as she stared at me.

"I thought we weren't making assumptions about each other any more?" My lips twitched with a arrogant remark along the lines of her thinking of me long enough to make assumptions, the fact made my skin erupt in a layer of heat.

"Call it an observation." She hummed, moving a fallen curl out of her face.

"Thats fair, cant say I havent had a few of my own." My brow quirked.

"Well now I'm curious." The layer of heat that seemed to blanket my body around Amara seemed to go up a few degrees as she threw her head back and laughed. The pain stricken expressed almost completely dissolved. The amusement sparking back in her eyes and the bright smile on her face made me want to keep her laughing, keep her mind off it.

"Dont you have somewhere to be?" She darted those dark eyes the direction Bear disappeared into, his office door shut completely now.

"Are you working today?" I counter, clearing my throat to chase away the heat crawling up my neck suddenly. Her dark eyes regard me with a flittering expression I cant decipher before she shakes her head.

"No, Bambi gave me the week off." Her tone is suspicious but the soft expression doesnt falter off her face. I notice how much darker and longer her eyelashes look after she cries, it makes her dark brown eyes seem light. "Why? you want to fix my car up some more?" She teased, innocent and playful yet my mind drifted to the way her legs looked in her shorts that day, inwardly my gaze dropped down, a pang of misplaced disappointment at her sweatpants but still they clung to her almost like a second skin.

Forcing my gaze back to hers I realize how tall Amara is, neck not craning to look at her like im used to and her head barely tilting to make eye contact. Otherwise the top of her head brushed just over my shoulder.

"Careful firefly, someone might mistake that tone of yours for flirting." My smirk turned grin as she chuckled deeply.

"You're impossible and late." She titled her head and I followed suit, finding a pissed off prez with his arms crossed outside his office door, jaw ticking. "Looks like your in trouble." She sang lowly, teasing as I rocked on my heels, offering prez a sheepish look as he glanced between Amara and I who had her back angled towards him.

"I reckon I am." I answered, pulling my gaze back to her amused features only to be met with her retreating back her murmured laughter following her out the shop. The layer of warmth going with her.