The Mechanics of The Heart (Unedited)

35

Amara Colin

I'm almost annoyed with Razors nonchalance, he seemed to be cruising with the flow of traffic, relaxed into his seat while I was trying not to squirm in my seat.
"Are you always this relaxed? You did just tell me Bullet was in the hospital." I crossed my arms to keep from reaching over and pressing on the gas myself. Patience was never my forte, neither was moving at the speed of grass growing.

"You shouldn't stress about things you can't control, life's a freight train Mara, you can either jump on, out the way or SPLAT!" I jumped as he clapped suddenly, hands leaving the steering wheel to clap his massive hands loudly beside my ear. The sound swallowed by the space of the car in a pop, I glared at him as I rubbed the ringing out of my ear.

Leaving Razor to his vague and cryptic words I turned to the window, watching the building morph into the freeway melt back into buildings.

I don't think my heart beats properly until we get to the hospital and even then my breathing is ragged and it's almost impossible to catch.

"Hi! Can I help you?" The blonde at the desk is chirpy, it does nothing to ease the nerves eating at my stomach.

"Uh," I pause, looking over to Razor beside me, leaning against the receptionist desk with the same nonchalant air around him he's been carrying today. He only looks at me and shrugs, his lips not even twitching to speak but I can feel my eye begin to as I force myself to keep from strangling a biker in the middle of the hospital.

Turning back, the blonde was still looking expectedly. Her computer glowed off her tired face as she glanced between Razor and I, her gaze lingering like a hungry animal on the latter. "I'm looking for a man with a vest like his but with brown floppy curls like a mullet but more of a mohawk-" I clamped my mouth shut as Razor began to shake and giggle like a school girl beside me. Glaring at him, I jab my elbow into his ribs effectively cutting off his snickers with a wince.

"Jesus, woman."

"Um, I think i may seen who you're looking for head down that hall." Smiling more forced she pointed towards the hall behind us and I rolled my eyes as Razor dramatically clutched his torso.

"I barely touched you." I sighed waving off his theatrics as he muttered under his breath, shaking my hands out as we started to pass some rooms. Most empty, a few holding some sleeping, happily watching tv, eating or crying patients. An array of big emotions separated from just a few layers of dry wall and wood.

I would rather explain a coronary artery bypass surgery to kindergarteners than explain the utter, collapsing relief that fell over me like an avalanche seeing Bullet sitting in the waiting chair as I cut the corner. The plastic chair seeming so small under him as he sat, legs spread one arm propped to hold his head up as he glares at his phone.

My heart clenches as I release a breath that had been trapped in my lungs. I felt dizzy from the whirlwind of emotions fluttering inside me, however annoyance creeped over the surface and I turned my glare onto Razor.

"I thought you said he was in the hospital." I bit out the words as Razor raised his hands in surrender.

"Actually I said:'I have to take you to the hospital to see Bullet', you just never gave me a chance to explain." His grin could hold a mirror to the Cheshire cats from Alice In Wonderland. He shrugged with that nonchalant air before waltzing away from me into the waiting room.

I crossed my arms, resisting the urge to thump him in the back of his head. Rubbing at the goosebumps at my skin, I was starting to regret not grabbing a jacket in my haste. My sweat pants were thick cotton but I was only wearing a tank on top and although Nevada was scorching hot, the air conditioning in the hospital seemed to be pumping full max.

"Firefly, are you alright?" I blinked, deep and rich hazel eyes narrowed into mine filled with concern and a warmth that cuts through the chill resting over my body.

"Yeah." I breath the lie straight through my teeth and if they could Bullets calculating eyes narrow more. He searches my face for a beat of silence, narrowing further and I know my lack of sleep is shadowing my face. "What happened? Is everyone okay?" I look over his shoulder, I can't see much of the waiting room but the cluster of shadows and low murmur of voices let me know there is people.

"Did you get the groceries?" He ask instead of answering and I roll my eyes, an annoying habit of his I was becoming accustomed too. He would make a good lawyer, eyes never miss a thing and shot questions like bullets.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing at my thoughts, nodding my head. "Thank you. You didn't have to." I release my bottom lip mostly in a quiet gasp when I look back at him, warm hazel eyes lingering on my lips before they flicker like a flame back to my eyes.

"Wanted too. Everyone's fine, just playing the waiting game. Come." I take his out stretched hand like it's natural, it feels that way.
His hands are large, palm stretched and slightly rugged from work but warm. Despite his work his nails are always clean and trimmed. Like his beard.

He leads me to the waiting room and my stomach sloshes at the mixture of voices that dance around the space.
"Amara! Hey!" I'm jerked into a hug, as much as they can with Bullet holding my hands still. Marisol pulls back with a smile stretched across her face and Lisa is practically dancing on her toes and she waves wildly.

"Hey." I force a smile and try to ignore the towers of men taking up majority of the space around us. A hand clenches around mine softly but tightly and I feel myself breathing again.

"Amara, we didn't get a chance to properly introduce you last time. This is my old man Tennessee." Lisa's eyes twinkle with a love struck gaze as she gestures to the tall, almost linky built man, if it were for the intimidating air that surrounded him.

"Nice to meet ya, you're the one who helps Bam at the gallery, right?" I nod, having briefly met a few of these men the night of the art show. "That was really nice work." I smile, genuinely this time. I was still confused, oddly relived but entirely lost.

"Thanks-"

"Uncle B! Wait- Miss Amara!" I barely register the tiny voice before I can feel Bayou wrap his little arms around my legs. I grin inwardly, my hand dropping from Bullets for the first time to hug Bayou back.

The little boy was a ray of sunshine and it took only five minutes of us alone in the gallery for him to declare me his best friend.
It was a day after the show and I was cleaning, sweeping the marble floors while Bambi oversaw the packaging and delivery of purchased pieces, Bayou playing near the stone statue with a yellow and red race car.

I wasn't sure if he got bored or something but Bambi had stepped out for half a second before he 'tagged me' and I was chasing him across the smooth floors while his giggles danced in the open space.

"Hey buddy." I ruffle his hair and glance up as someone clears their throat, Bear, standing in front of a door with an expression I didn't think his facial features we're capable of.

A soft, serene smile etched onto his face was a strong contrast to the wetness and red tinged eyes. It's so quiet, you can hear the custodian sweeping three halls over.

"Six pounds and eight ounces of a dream." His words wash over the seemingly eager crowd, it's two heart beats of silence before the people around me erupt into a roaring applause, hoots and whistles. Even Bayou let's out a few hollers and I chuckle at him.

My eyes finding Bullet, hazel eyes twinkling and a grin so wide his dimple pops. I find myself smiling as he cups his hands around his mouth and yells out.
It's almost drowned out by the other commotion, loud and boisterous full of joy. Granite we were in a hospital, the people around me were full of joy.

And it was contagious.