The Liar And Her Love

chapter 16:

Sept'22
Taeri

I was shivering in pain while laying on my bed, sometimes my home doesn't feel like home, my own life doesn't feel like mine. It all feels like a nightmare I should escape but if I do, my brother will be alone.

My hair is oiled dripping, my phone isn't on the charger, it's with my mom in her room.

She confiscated it.
Why?

Because I was working with my friends on the upcoming event late at night.

She oiled my hair.
Why?
Because I feel happy when it's free and she believes only characterless girls leave their hair open and dry.

I'm stuck in a constant cycle of beliefs and finding loopholes, on guard always on anticipating the next danger, something that will totally annihilate the small hope of freedom.

Mom didn't come to watch my play, apparently she was busy, It was a great success, the whole school has not shut up about it even until now.

It's weird people admire me, are they crazy? They probably don't know what I actually am.

Pathetic loser who trives on attention, someone who is pathetically in love with someone for no absolute reason. It's genuinely just pathetic, someone who has to do everything to make sure nobody becomes better than her, hurts her ego. So bloody pathetic.

I am crazy over someone, but to believe if I'm even made for love. Do I even deserve it?

Am I even attractive enough for someone to actually love me.

What bloody Delusion.

Aug'33
Taeri pov...

"What do you mean you confessed?" she asked looking at me.

"Confessed?" I heard a masculine voice, a voice I have witnessed ho through childhood, puberty and whatever stage of life he is in right now.

My brother, Seo Ryan entered the room. His uniform neat and pristen yet the small dirt mark on his color, a little loosened tie, sweat on his temple gave away the fact he rushed here.

"Yeah confess to the lord for my sins" I joked and he gave me weird looks before walking inside the room.

"We are Buddhists noona." He commented and took the stool next to me.

He turned to venessa and smiled at her. "Hello noona, has been a while since we met" he said and venessa ruffled his hair before putting her hands on his shoulders.

"Look at the boy, all grown up. Are these muscles I feel?" She joked and Ryan laughed.

"I'm nowhere close to jungkook hyung" his comments makes all of us laugh.

He turned towards me and scanned me without moving it saying anything.

"Weren't you supposed to be at your yonsei university signing off your pretty little contract to work as a professor and ditch your own responsibility as the head of Winston blu and it's education institutions?" He asked with a smile.

I chuckled at his words, this bitch. "You don't want me to beat the shit out of you, do you?" I said and he looked at me and shut his mouth.

"Good"

"What we're doing near the hospital?" He asks

I look at him without speaking any words, one thing about my brother is he always shared his secrets with me which means he expected that in return. He knows about my pathetic crush.

"Oh, he is a doctor here right. So you came here- No, you came to korea at all for-" he was interrupted by me.

"I am taking over Winston education foundation, I'll be your Dean now." My words stopped him, he looked at me and then screamed so loud I swear I didn't hear a part of it.

I have been raising my brother long enough to know how to divert his attention.

"Oh my god. finally!! That brat of a sol-i and her goddamn mother. I personally hate everyone equally but that sol-i gets on my skin, nerves and last straw of patience" He rolled his eyes when he said that and I chuckled.

Few years emerged in my eyes, he looks exactly like how my dad did, and the way he acts is so similar to my mom. The eye roll and sass.

But with tears came anger, anger towards whom I need to figure out.

"Ryan, accompany me now that you are here. Let's get her some meds and snacks she must be hungry" she said and Ryan nodded.

"Arasso noona" with that both of them left the room, while I looked up at the ceiling. Pushing my tears back, laughing crying I don't know.

"It's okay let it out" I heard her voice. God, venessa and her godly powers.

I hate my godly powers. I remember my life in such details, hyperthymesia.

If it wasn't clear uptil now. The exact reasons why past memories effect me so much, why my mental health is in the gutter. I have a disease where I cannot forget a second and unfortunately I have memories I'm dying to forget. I remember everything in extreme details.

One tear, another tear and a break down. Everything came flowing down like a river. I did not cry silently. The whole week, no! the whole month has been overwhelming.

Coming back to korea, the random reflection of my parents in Ryan. Taking over the empire I have hated with every cell of my body. Rekindling with jimin, who was one of my biggest regret. I have always hated that my one only love was unrequited and that I was incapable of loving someone else.

Everything at once.

I could barely see when someone hugged me, you know when someone hugs you and you just know who that is.

"Get away" I said while crying.

"It's okay, y/n. I don't know what happened with you, but you always hid your pain. Let it out" jimin said and I let myself hug him for once to let it all out.