The Liar And Her Love

Chapter 53:

Aug'32
Taeri

"Ryan get three bottles of fabric scent beads" I said as I scanned the grocery in my crate.

Usually we order groceries online or I shop alone however this time Ryan decided to tag.

"Yes!" He said and walked away putting his phone back in his pocket.

Yes.

It has been a while, few words trigger bad memories.

I used to scream a 'yes' with all my efforts whenever my mother called with the nickname she used to.

I would answer in yes, any other response would simply be rewarded with time outs where I'll lose the privilege to access any item counted as luxury since without basic decency I didn't deserve the luxuries.

The luxurious usually was water, clothes, a bed and anything that she has paid for.

These random words still trigger me?

Suddenly in the middle of the grocery shop I was losing balance, and falling down down down.

Everything was hazy, I could hear my mom's voice. I felt dizzy, losing the balance under my feet

Not again not again not again. She is dead, she is no more. Her ghost shouldn't haunt me, yet it does. It resides in me.

The fear of her
The fear of someone like her
The fear of turning into her
And
The fear of her that resides in my head.

She definitely did one thing perfectly, taught me to fear.

Taught me to fear words, taught me to fear sounds, taught me to fear touch.

I felt hands holding my arms holding me in place. "noona" I heard Ryan. I held onto the arm tighter.

"Did I say something that triggered this??" He sounded anxious.

"Shush, it-its just tiredness and random triggers. Just a minute" I said as much as I could.

"Yeah, yeah" he said and held me while we carefully sat on the floor until the panic goes.

I held my brother tightly, there are no many guys I can get close to. Due to the dating issue with my mother in the last year of High school. I developed issues with getting close to guys.

There were only two guys who I  wasn't scared getting close to. Only Ryan and jungkook both of them are my brothers.

I had no issues being near them or holding onto them because they were my brothers. They were my home. Ven's father and jungkook father and ven's grandfather and to an extent her bodyguard were few people that did not make me puke when I came closer to them.

Sept'33
Taeri

Then how did I not physically recoil when Jimin held me right in my arms. He not only touched me but held me in his arms.

HOW DID I NOT RECOIL.

Jimin walked around the car and took a seat next to me. While I saw everyone whispering and sit in respective cars. More than whispering, all of them were hiding back huge grin.