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Thursday,16 June 2022 1:33p.m.|13:33
I feel like the world is closing up on me as all three pairs of eyes are on me and waiting for an answer. I take my glass and drink juice trying to calm down.
"I mean, a child of 12 years being pregnant should be a crime," Dumisani says while looking at me and I look at Sithelo.
"What if that child made a mistake?"I say and Dumisani looks at me.
"It just shows that her parents weren't responsible enough to look after her."I look at him and take my fork as I try to eat but the conversation goes on."What would you do if Khanya was pregnant at that age?"
"I will take full responsibility and make sure she moves far away from the boy."
I shake my head."What about keeping the baby?"
Calvin looks at me with narrow eyes and I feel my body tense up."What would you do if your child was pregnant at that age?"Calvin asks and I continue to play with my food.
I shake my head and just keep quiet. What would it have been like if my parents knew about my deep dark secret? Would they love me like their child or kick me out of the house?
"I don't know honestly but I wouldn't chase her out of the house and I will make sure she doesn't feel like a disgrace to me."I look at Sithelo and see her busy on her phone."What about you, Sithelo?"
She looks at me and smiles."I hear you, Zenokhule. I feel like the child should feel like she is not a disappointment. She has to e-"
"So, you are accepting it?"Dumisani asks Sithelo and Sithelo looks down."Zeno."I look up and see Dumisani drinking water and his jaw is clenching."I don't condone what a teenage girl and boy do. Yes, I am not that holy than thou but when a girl and boy in their early teens are doing such then it's a call for concern."
"But she is your child, give her a chance to be free and give her the chance to explain."Sithelo takes her glass and drinks her wine."This is why I raise my children to be free because I don't want them to feel like if they make a mistake then they deserve this condemnation for every move they make. Also one should learn to know that they are not bad parents. We are all learning."
I just look down thinking about my mom and dad."Would you love your child if she was pregnant?"
He looks at me and plays with his food. He scoffs and drinks his wine"Wow."I say and put my fork down. I take my phone and bag. I see him looking at me and Sithelo holding my hand."Let me go, Sithelo."
She looks at me with pleading eyes and I shake my head."Call me then."I nod my head and quickly get up.
I feel out of place with this world, I feel like I will not be loved or seen the same way and this is why I plan on taking this secret to the grave.
