YOU'RE LOSING ME ; MILEVEN AU

016.

sometimes it was hard to even get up from her bed. she remembered hearing novah cry out for her from her room, hoping her mother would come to her.

but el would be so tired. she'd cry to herself hearing novah cries and when novah would come running to el's room, she sometimes wished she were alone.

she wanted to give up. she wanted the pain to go away.

but with one look at her daughter, she would force herself to push through. she'd tell herself that she still had her daughter.

that she didn't fuck up one thing.

today was one of those days.

mike had left for work and el decided to fall back to bed, trying to take a quick nap whilst novah did.

but novah was now wide awake. el had slept a total of an hour and a half counting from last night.

she was so tired.

"mommy! mommy! muma!" novah cried louder and louder as el placed her hands to her face.

get up. take care of your only child. get up! move!

but she couldn't.

novah's cries grew louder before footsteps were heard and she ran into el's room. "mommy!" she sobbed as el forced herself to sit up.

she opened her arms, sniffling as she blinked away her own tears. "what's wrong, cute alien?"

"i... i had a bad dream," novah cried, clinging onto el as tight as possible whilst el sat novah on her lap and rocked her back and forth.

el kissed her temple, gently rubbing her daughters back for warmth before whispering. "i have you, baby. i always have you, little one. mommy loves you so much,"

"mommy, don't go. hug me!" she cried and dug her face into el's shoulder.

el held her gently and pulled back to brush the hair out of novah's face.

"i love you, baby,"

novah looked up, pouting as she sniffled with glassy eyes. "i-i love you, muma,"

"don't cry, sweet girl," el brushed away her tears with her thumbs, caressing her chubby cheeks. "don't cry. mommy is so sad when you are,"

novah pouted even more and el cradled her and soothed her. "let's go downstairs to the garden, little alien. we can breathe,"

"carry me, mommy," novah said in the most adorable baby voice.

sometimes it was hard for others to understand novah. not that novah spoke much around strangers but it was easy for el to decipher her words.

sometimes she wondered if mike understood. he was never around much anyways.

"always," el stood from the bed, her legs weak like jelly as she tried to hold onto novah tightly.

as she brought novah downstairs, el rubbed her eyes to stop her tears from spilling before she placed novah on a beach chair by the pool.

"look at cloud, muma," novah whispered, still clinging onto el by the neck.

el hummed, going to lay down, hoping the sun would help wake her up. "i see,"

she patted her chest and novah climbed on, laying down with a huge sigh.

"mommy, mommy," novah grabbed el's cheeks who hummed tiredly, eyes beginning to close.

she was so tired.

she loved novah so much, but all she wanted now was to just breathe.

"yes?"