Hidden feelings | Kirk Hammett

15. "Can we just be friends again..?"

It had been a while since that Halloween party. I hadn't seen or talked to Dave in ages, the last time being when I saw him at that party. I had obviously tried to call him, but he never picked up. He probably had thousands of voicemail from me by now. I even showed up at his apartment a couple times, but the door was never opened. I had basically given up on all hope that we would ever talk again. And honestly, I think I could handle it. If he wanted to be a dick and ignore me, he could.

It was now mid December. Metallica was out doing some shows in other cities. Me, the other girls and Metallica hung out a few weeks ago, before they left, and we decided to do Secret Santa this year. We planned to throw a small Christmas party with just the 7 of us on Christmas day where we would hand out our presents.

I got James. I sat there on the couch, pondering what I should get for him.

There was a faint rapping on the door. Why don't they just ring the doorbell?, I thought.

I got up and opened it, expecting it to be Nancy coming back with groceries or something.

What I didn't expect, was Dave Mustaine on my doorstep.

"Hi Juliette.. Can I come in?" He smiled sheepishly.

I opened my door wider and turned my back towards him, walking back into my house as he trailed behind.

He took a seat on the couch and I turned to face him, frustration boiling in me.

"You can't just ignore me for months and then show up at my door like everything's okay!" I blurted out.

"Well, I'm here now." He responded, strangely calm.

His calmness only frustrated me more.

"Are you going to apologize for how long you've ignored me for?"

"I'm getting to that part, Juliette. Be patient."

I took a seat next to him.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you.. It just didn't sit right with me that you were friends with them.." He murmured.

"They're not bad people, Dave. They just did what they had to do.."

"I know.." He reluctantly admitted.

"So can we just be friends again..?" The look in his eyes made me guilty for lashing out at him earlier.

"Yeah, of course Dave."

He flashed me a genuine smile. "Now that's over with, wanna go outside with me?"

"Let's go." I grabbed my coat hanging from a chair and opened the door.

♧

We strolled past shops and restaurants on the street, just talking to each other. I didn't realise how much I missed Dave till now.

"How is James by the way?" Dave asked. There was no snarky intent behind his words.

"He's got a black eye, but otherwise he's alright."

"Oh, I'm sorry about that. I hope he gets better soon." Since when did Dave care about James' wellbeing?

"That reminds me, I'm doing Secret Santa with Metallica and I got James." I usually wouldn't talk so openly about Metallica to Dave, but seeing how he didn't seem to resent them as much as before, I just didn't feel the need to keep things from him anymore.

"I can help you get something." I was taken aback by this.

"Thanks Dave, I really appreciate that."

"Can I ask why you seem not to hate them that much anymore?" I was hoping this question wouldn't strike a nerve or something.

He sighed. "I still don't like them, Juliette.. But I've realized that if I want to keep you in my life, I need to accept that they're your friends as well."

I nodded.

He changed the subject as we continued walking.

♧

"You can get him a pedal." Dave said plainly.

"I don't know which one to get, though."

"Well, I know he already has a distortion pedal, so just get him something you think he doesn't have already." He answered.

"What's this?" I held up a random pedal I saw and showed it to Dave.

"That's a fuzz pedal, I'm pretty sure he doesnt have one of those already. You can get it."

"Alright then." I walked up to the counter and paid for the pedal.

♧

Next up: the record store.

"What does he like listening to?" I turned to Dave.

"Judas Priest.. Iron Maiden?"

"Oh yeah! There was a new Maiden album released earlier this year he kept talking about." I remembered. I dashed to the aisle where they kept heavier music and scanned through the records, trying to find it.

Dave spotted it before me, holding it up to show me. "Here."

I thanked him and went up to the counter to pay for it.

We walked out of the store and onto the street.

♧

From all the walking around town to the guitar store, and then the record store, the sun had begun to go down. I wished in that moment that I had a camera, to capture the beautiful rays of orange sunlight spread across the horizon.

"Where do you wanna go now?" I asked Dave.

"The sun's going down, we should probably go get something to eat." He replied.

"Yeah we should." I agreed.

We walked around until we spotted a fast food restaurant.

"Hey, can we get food there and take it to the park? I don't really feel like eating at a restaurant today."

"Sure, let's go." Dave responded as we headed towards the restaurant.

♧

We sat on a bench in the park, staring out at the sky.

"I'm sorry I forgot to ask how you've been since the last time I saw you.. How are you?" I asked Dave before biting into my double cheeseburger.

"Well I've been working on my new band. I'm gonna name it Fallen Angels unless I think of a better name. I guess I've been alright. I've never had much in life to begin with anyway." He looked so vulnerable in that moment, I wanted to hug him.

He suddenly looked serious and turned to look me in the eye.

"I know we haven't known each other for long.. But can you promise that we won't ever let anything push us apart? I really don't know what I would do if we ever stopped being friends.. I need you in this life, Juliette. Maybe even in the next one as well." As he spoke, his gaze moved away from me and up into the sky, as if he was afraid to be so vulnerable with me.

"Of course. I wouldn't ever leave you alone, Dave."

"This is stupid, but.. promise?" He said, holding up a pinky finger.

"Promise." I responded, linking my pinky finger with his.

And then he told me about his childhood, and everything he had ever gone through in his life. I sat there and listened, looking up at the stars as he talked. He told me about his family problems and how those issues had moved into his adult life. He moved on from that and told me about issues he was facing now. Listening to him speak, I really understood how he felt. He truly had no one in this life, the only friends he'd had had pushed him aside, and even though they had reasons to, it still hurt him.

♧