CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
#LASS_baby
“yes mom, I’ll pick her up na” I said over the line.
[We have a business trip today so Zia will be yours but… just for now?” I heard mom chuckled.
“mom!” bulyaw ko na ikinatawa namin.
Palagi na nga lang si Zia nasa kanila. Halos doon na tumira. But I was so grateful kahit busy ako sa trabaho nandyan sila mommy and daddy for Zia. Amoy favorite!
[but seriously, alagaan mo yan]
“para namang hindi ko anak” natatawang sabi ko. I turned the steering wheel when I saw the green light from the traffic light.
[I know, babalik kami next week para kunin siya sayo] mom teased me.
“Anak niyo po?” I said humorously.
[Apo ko bakit?]
Natawa ako bigla
“Mom fine, I will kahit di niyo pa sabihin” I chuckled.
Natahimik si mommy kaya nagtataka ako. Tinignan ko pa ang phone ko. Hindi pa naman niya binababa.
“mom, still there?”
[I missed you Harrah] mom said suddenly.
Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. I felt it genuinely. Matagal ko ng naririnig kay mommy yan but today feels different.
“I missed you too mom” I smiled kahit di niya ako nakikita.
Mommy is simply trying to make up for all of her shortcomings, but I already gave them my forgiveness. Instead of holding grudges, I embrace and adore them. My love for them is greater than my hatred for them.
[Harrah nagkita naba kayo ng kapatid mo?”
That… that name triggered me. Even if mommy didn't say who, I knew who she was talking about.
“yeah” I replied.
[Did you guys talk?]
“No”
[It's ok at least you guys see each other, ok na ako] mom said pero bakit ramdam ko ang lungkot sa boses niya.
I know mom na gusto niya kaming magkabati but for the past years I'm not yet ready to face her. She didn't do anything towards me but the impact and amount of hate and pain I get because of people comparing us still hurts and the trauma I get. Idagdag po yung nakita kong nagyayakapn sila ni Ethan. When I'm beside her I feel so small. Nanliliit ako sa sarili ko but….
But I think I need some little time to face her. I already forgave her but was not ready to face her. I need more time to think.
“mom, I'll hang up now” sabi ko.
[Ok, take care]
“we will”
[bye harrah]
“Bye mom” I said as I ended the call.
Ang gaan ng pakiramdam ko ngayon. Talking with mom was a good choice.
Nasa parking lot na ako ng school ni Zia at susunduin ko na siya. Pumasok ako sa elevator para puntahan ang classroom nila but the kids were all gone.
My forehead creased kaya napatingin ako sa relo ko. It's still 2:46 pm. Inaga ko nga pero mukhang maaga silang pinalabas.
Lumibot ako para hanapin si Zia but I can't find her. Sinimulan na akong kabahan.
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