VANGELI

Chapter 43

Chapter 43

The car ride is silent, the darkness has consumed the car but only the headlights and the street lights have provided lights within this car. I called my husband and we talked for a little while before we hung up. This man next to me has been quiet since we left his office and he has been determined with driving me back home in my car and making sure that I am safe. I don’t even know how he is going to get back but I am sure he is not going to leave right now at night. I am also quiet as I have no say or have nothing to say at the moment.

I told him where is my home and as we enter Durban he drives there without asking for any step to step directions. We get to the house and I open the gate with the remote and it opens and he drives the car inside the yard to the garage. I unbuckle my belt.

“Thank you”, he nods his head.

He hops out of the car and I do the same. He hands the keys over to me.

“Usale kahle(Stay well)”, he says.

“How are you going to go back? Its late”

“I will make a plan”

“You can come in and sleep in the guest room, you can leave in the morning”, I say.

“Unami I…”

“Zithule”, I say.

He keeps quiet and bites his bottom lip. He sighs there after.

I make my way to the house and unlock the door and he follows after me. I close the door and I ask him if he needs anything and he tells me that he is fine.

I turn to look at him, he is awfully quiet. Mina nje angikwzi ukuthula kanje(I cant keep quiet like this). It is like someone has died.

“I can’t stay”, he says after taking a look around the house”

“Uhm why? Are you feeling any bad spirits?”

“No, kodwa umuzi wenye indoda lo(This is another man’s house) and I don’t feel comfortable”

Zulu men and their ego’s.

“Okay”,I say.

“Ngicela ungiphelezele emnyango mama( Can you escort me outside mama?)”, he says so politely.

Butterflies rest in my stomach at that moment for no particular reason. I follow after him to escort him outside. Though I feel unease about him being outside at this time.

“I will rest at the hotel and leave tomorrow morning”, he says, telling me about his plans.

“Okay…uhm travel well. Thank you once again.”

He takes out something from his pocket and it is a piece of paper.

“I wrote this some time ago, after finding you. You don’t have to open it if you don’t want to. Bye”, he says and leaves then.

I go inside the house and close the door behind me. I open the note infront of me.

‘Angiqinile ngase magameni kodwa ngithe angibhale lencwadi encane engingazi ngiyoke ngikunike yona nah. Uke wayihlupha imicabango yami, umoya wami nomzimba wami kodwa angikaze ngifikelwe ukuk’zonda ngalokho(I am not good at constructing words but I thought I should write this little letter that I don’t know if you will ever receive. You have been tormenting my mind, my soul and my body but I have never felt like hating you for that). Your innocence shines through more than you think. You are important to me, you became important in my life from the moment I knew who you are in my life and it comes naturally to care about you. I am not writing this to be disrespectful. If I am then ayidle iyishiyele mama(I am sorry). There is nothing much I will further say. There is a lot I want to say but due to respecting you and your marriage I will hold myself, promise yourself that you will choose your happiness. You have a child now, so I have heard and you being well is of the well being of your child to, do not worry. I will not bother you as I have said to you and I intend on keeping it like that. Pray for yourself too more than you pray for anything else. That you are set free from the pain of your soul. If I could,I would take every pain you feel away and let me endure it on your behalf but I cannot.