Lavender | Wakatoshi Ushijima

56 | Bliss

She sits on the carpet, listing her back to the bed. Hana has her window open, the crisp late afternoon air has the dewiness of the summer. The sun hadn't set just yet. Since the weather is suitable, she wears a short, white tank top and dark leggings with a book of a poetry collection in hand.

Her parents are out of town for the first time in weeks. They had asked her multiple times if she was okay with it, and she agreed each time. She had missed her days of freedom by herself.

Each weekend, one of them would pick somewhere to go. Once, her father had chosen a field out in the country. It was a little road trip. She sent dozens of photos to Wakatoshi, who was immensely happy to see her thriving. It turned out her father had taken lots of hiking trips with his friends when he was younger, so he navigated the way easily.

Hana nears the end of the page when her phone buzzes by her ear, faced down on the bed. She reaches for it over her shoulder. Sure enough, his name lights up the screen as she reaches for her necklace.

Do you want to go for a stroll with me?

How can I say no?

I'll stop by in twenty minutes. Is that enough time?

Perfect, just don't expect me to be dolled up.

I'm in sweatpants myself; it doesn't matter. You're beautiful in everything.

She smiles. Has he always been this charming? Opening her closet, she changes into a maroon short sleeve. The weather is relatively warm, so there's no need for a jacket. These leggings will do. Her hair falls on her shoulders, wavy silk coming undone from a simple ponytail.

She slips on a pair of grey socks and spritzes perfume everywhere. She slips into her high top sneakers, taking her time with the laces. A touch of lipgloss wouldn't hurt either. There's a sheer pink tint glowing under the light.

It was unusual that she didn't spend half of her time picking out an outfit, but it was mainly because she felt stunning nevertheless. Her confidence in her body and her image leaves no room for indecision.

She knows he'll find her beautiful in whatever she wears, that only adds gasoline to the fire of self-love strengthening her heart. Internally, she's proud of how far she's come. She's able to look at herself without a mean thought, and accepts Wakatoshi's compliments happily.

With ten minutes left to spare, Hana locks the front door and sits at the steps. Her mind wanders to the afternoon at the schoolyard. The birds were migrating, the flowers were swaying, and the wind was encouraging them to say the words that had been bubbling under the surface for a surplus period of time.

The sun was dull, shining weakly, only to show their features. She remembers her anger as she raised her voice, dragging the words out of him, unlocking the caves and mazes of his mind. Tears prickling her eyes as she begged him to have mercy on himself. How his face disintegrated as she grew more furious. That's when his eyes sagged a little less and his attitude flipped. He cracked. He came back to her.

Most of all, she reminisced about how he handled her. He kept his cool and explained that all he did was for her safety, never once yelling at her to understand. Even when she grew more hard-headed, he gave her an ear. And in the moment that he gave in to his desires, a part of him also did it so she can be satisfied too.

Hana realizes she'll never go back to being the same, something about that first kiss messed her up. An element so new and fresh embedded in his lips, in the strength of the kiss that felt like a lock on their throats had vanished. Like the world had stopped and every problem they faced had vanished. An element she tastes every time she presses her lips to his.