Falling Helplessly

One - There you'll be

Jodie - Seven years Later 

Christmas time is one of the hardest times of the year for both Alfie and Jasmine Wilson, both of them feeling the loss of Ella ; Jasmine's mother and Alfie's other half. 

It was a couple of days after Christmas that Ella died, she didn't want to go into the new year with Alfie and Jasmine knowing that she wouldn't be at the other end. 

Every Boxing day I go round to see them, Alfie being lost in despair over the love he lost. Jasmine being a teenager, full of hatred towards the world, still trying to navigate the world without her mum. 

Today marks seven years since we lost Ella, I was preparing to go round to the Wilson's house, knowing that I would be met with two heartbroken people. Only this year would be different, I wouldn't be trying to make Jasmine laugh or feel better, today would be the day she learned the whole story of what happened to her mother. She was now fourteen and therefore old enough to understand why Ella made the decision to end her life. 

Alfie didn't know I was going to tell Jasmine today, but then again, even he didn't know the truth. Countless times I'd tried to tell him what had happened, but each time he could never bring himself to listen to the story of Ella's death. He only knew glimpses of what had happened. To be honest, I wonder if he'll ever force himself to learn the truth, hopefully once Jasmine knows he'll listen too. But in order to do that, he first needs to stop living in the memories of her. He's waiting for a miracle that will never come about. 

As I pulled up outside of the house, I reached for the box I'd brought with me to show Jasmine. Inside, it contained items that once upon a time had belonged to Ella. 

I stayed in the car for a moment longer, preparing myself for what would be one of the hardest days of my life, talking about my dead best friend's life to her daughter. Why had she asked me to do this? Probably because she knew that I was the only one who could actually keep a promise she'd made on my behalf after she'd gone. 

Eventually I walked inside, only to be met with what I had predicted. Alfie sat staring into space and Jada in her room listening to depressing music, like mother like daughter. 

I sat down beside Alfie and gave him a hug knowing that what I was about to tell him would only send him spiralling. 

"I'm going to tell Jada about Ella." I said to him, he didn't move an inch, his eyes fixated on the picture that hung on the wall in front of Ella and Alfie when they'd first started dating. 

"Please Jodie, don't. It will only hurt her more, even I won't hear it. All she believes is that Ella chose to leave us, Jasmine doesn't need to hear that." Alfie replied in that deep voice of his that had more of an edge to it now than usual. 

"I have to, it was Ella's last request of me. Jasmine's old enough to hear what happened now." I replied, knowing that what I was about to say would be a risk, but I had to. "Maybe you should listen to it as well, maybe then you could move on." 

"I will never be able to move on from her! I tried and I failed!" Alfie said raising his voice. "She was meant to be the girl I spent the rest of my life with and then she was gone. So no, I won't listen, I'm going out with Henry." 

And then he stormed out of the house to meet his best friend. What he meant by he's tried and failed was after some time, he went on a few dates, none of which ended well. Usually he ended up at my house drunk, complaining about Ella and how he hated his life. So, he gave up dating all together. 

I knew this wasn't what Ella wanted for him, but there was nothing anyone could do, he wouldn't listen. He was too stubborn for his own good, just like Ella used to be. But lately, all Alfie does is walk around in a mood, sure it was hard for him, but it was tough on all of us. Jasmine would need him later today and I knew that she would be at the back of his mind, which actually brought me some comfort for I knew that Alfie would always put Jasmine before himself, which meant that he'd be back sober soon enough to help his daughter through processing the news she will have learnt.