Falling Helplessly

Nine - I've been waiting for you

"Your mother realised at a young age that there was no light in her life, that there never had been ; only darkness that tortured her everyday, but little did she know all that was about to change. 

For around a year, Ella became more like herself again ; she was still highly anxious but she was no longer letting it control her. She was fighting back more than she ever had before. 

One morning Ella called me in a state of panic, I could hear her crying down the phone, so I immediately went round to her house calling Becky on the way and getting her to accompany me so Ella had both of us to support her with whatever was going on. 

When we got there, Ella was reluctant to say anything at first though she was no longer crying, so me and Becky simply sat on her bed beside her and patiently we waited for when she was ready to tell us, unfortunately before she got the chance to explain anything to us she was hit with a wave of nausea and darted out of her bed running to the bathroom, thankfully she made it just in time. I went after her and held her hair back for her whilst rubbing her back trying to console her, only after she'd brushed her teeth and had eaten a ginger biscuit did she wander back into her bedroom where she looked at me and Becky dead in the eyes and said "I think I might be pregnant." 

I quickly took Ella's hand in my own and threw my arms around her as Becky did the same. All we said was let's go and get a test so we dragged Ella out of bed and eventually walked into town together arm in arm giving her the support she desperately needed but wouldn't dare ask for.  We all walked into the supermarket searching the aisles aimlessly wandering up and down them until we eventually found where the pregnancy tests where, next to the condoms, ironic right? I couldn't help but laugh which of course got me a death stare of Becky. Ella had refused to go up to the tills to buy it so me not giving a care in the world of what people thought of me teenager or not confidently walked up to the cashier and handed her the test and paid for it whilst Becky and Ella had opted to wait outside for me. 

It was just our luck that Alfie and Henry walked out of the shop at exact same time I did meaning they locked eyes on Ella and Becky as soon as I did, but as soon as Ella noticed who was standing a mere metre away from here she took of in a run and darted across the car park to which Becky immediately sprinted after her leaving me to deal with Alfie. He shot me a sceptical look as he watched Ella flee the scene not looking back even once, he set off to follow them, but before he even had a chance I grabbed his arm and pulled him back knowing that the last thing Ella needed was for Alfie to be a part of this right now. Before Alfie had a chance to say anything I simply told him to give Ella some space to which of course he listened ; he always had done whatever I'd asked of him no questions asked no matter what it was. 

I told Alfie that after I had spoken to Ella I would get her to meet up with him so I arranged with him to meet us in an hour at one of the local restaurants, well when I say restaurant I don't entirely mean it ; there was somewhere you could eat with a bar but it was mainly a place where teenagers would go and hang out they had pool tables, a somewhat small bowling alley and a crazy golf section, so it was quite popular especially since it was also dirt cheap. 

I found Ella and Becky a few minutes later taking refuge at a small café down the road from the supermarket we'd come from I handed Ella the bag with the pregnancy test inside to which she pushed it away from me. Ella shook her head and said "Not here." I nodded before I stood up and went to order a coffee for all of us. 

Five minutes the later I walked back over to the table and sat down giving them all a coffee each and told them both what I'd told Alfie, Ella turned to us and said "He's going to find out at some point I'll just do the test when we meet him and tell him the results then if he wants to break up with me I'd rather him do it now than in a couple of months or when the baby's here." 

Once we'd finished the coffees we started walking to meet Alfie and Henry, Ella was practically shaking with fear by this point, I'd already tried reassuring her that no matter what the outcome of the test was we would all be here to support her but of course she didn't believe me when I included Alfie in that statement because in her mind he was going to break up with her and she wouldn't believe anyone who told her otherwise unless it came from Alfie himself. 

As soon as we walked inside Alfie and Henry where already in the middle of a game of pool, but when he saw Ella walk in he walked over to her and pulled her into a tight hug and then she pulled him aside from the rest of us and told him that she thought she was pregnant. I could see the look of shock on his face from across the room but once he saw Ella panicking about his reaction he once more pulled her close and told her that he would be with her one hundred percent of the way. It was like I could see the fear and worry evaporate from her and so she took a deep breath and pulled away from Alfie's embrace before she walked over to me grabbed me and Becky by the hand and pulled us into the bathroom with her.

Ella came out of the bathroom stall a couple of minutes later as I set a timer on my phone for when the test would be ready so she placed it face down on the sink so she couldn't see what it said. Me and Becky did the best we could in trying to distract Ella whilst the minutes passed until the timer went off she quickly turned around and tightly hugged Becky as she asked me to tell her what the results were. 

I slowly picked up the test and turned it over to see the word pregnant, my eyes went wide as I looked at Becky and she knew with the look on my face what it said and I saw her hold Ella a little tighter. Then I took a deep breath and carefully broke the news to Ella that she was pregnant, with you. 

I was expecting Ella to break down crying or have some sort of negative reaction like most sixteen year old would have but she didn't she just had a stunned expression on her face but I could tell there wasn't even an ounce of fear within her anymore. 

I took her hand in mine and led her out of the bathroom to where Alfie and Henry where sat down at one of the tables their game of pool presumably over, we all sat down and Henry confused as ever eased the silence for us by his lack of awareness and said "What the fuck's going on, why's everyone so serious?"

So that's when I kicked him under the table and shot him a warning glare but Ella taking this as her chance to break the news to Alfie blurted out an "I'm pregnant." And Alfie simply smiled at her and pulled her onto his knee as he placed his arm around and then gently kissed her. 

Neither of them knew what they were going to do or how they would manage, but they didn't care. There was never a question of whether they would keep you in fact it was never even asked, your mother had made up her mind the moment she heard me tell her she was pregnant and your dad wanted you just as much. Knowing they were expecting you gave them a sense of control over their lives again. No longer did they feel restricted by their parents as they were now parents themselves. 

After they had processed the news they made the decision to keep it a secret and swore us all we wouldn't tell a single soul of course we all agreed and then Henry started singing a weird version of Happy Birthday that he'd made up instead of singing the actual lyrics to the song he was singing Congratulations. I can safely say it was one of the weirdest things I have ever heard in all of my life, but that was the beginning of their new life together and both me and Henry couldn't be happier for them as we both knew that this would be what saved them both. 

Ella stayed over at my house that night where she promised me that she would from that moment on take care of herself for you and the whole time she was pregnant, she didn't cut once, she looked after herself for you no matter how hard the day had been to protect you. 

Throughout Ella's pregnancy she worried about losing you, the anxiety took control of her once again, but already you'd changed her life around for the better and both she and Alfie swore they'd never let anything hurt you. You were their saving grace, you brought Ella and Alfie closer than they ever were before, they finally thought they were capable and worthy of love ; of having a family together. They thought they'd be together forever and have a long, promising, happy future ; their future however was cut shut by a blade put to the skin."