Falling Helplessly

Eleven - Closer to fine

"When your mum was near the end of her pregnancy she was once again bad with her anxiety, to the point where it was like year nine all over again ; if not worse. She'd stopped going to college, she wouldn't leave the house. She was terrified of becoming ill and harming you with the illness. She feared the judgemental looks that she'd receive due to being a teenage mum. She felt like a failure. 

A couple of weeks before her due date, me and Becky had planned her a small baby shower, we'd invited a couple of our old friends over and some of Alfie's as well since he'd refused to leave Ella's side in case she needed something or got overwhelmed. 

The party itself went quite well to be honest, we ordered takeaway pizzas and played a few of games like guess how big the bump is and pin the dummy on the baby etc, but Ella hated being the centre of attention she always had done and it didn't help that when Alfie's friends did eventually arrive the majority of them were high and had persuaded Alfie to indulge in it as well so Ella kept disappearing and I'd find her sat in the garden for a moments peace. 

Ella was now seventeen and you were due to arrive in exactly two weeks, so Alfie being Alfie had also decided to stop going to college and was by Ella's side twenty four seven, except for one night. Ella had managed to convince him to go out with a few of his mates as it would be the last chance he got to live life as a normal teenager before he became a dad. Of course the one night Alfie wasn't with your mother was the night you decided you'd had enough and decided to make an appearance. 

Thankfully, I was with Ella when she started having contractions. At first she brushed it aside convincing herself and me that it was just stomach ache but after an hour or so I knew differently and shouted for Lauren. She obviously told Ella she had to go to the hospital and despite Ella pleading to stay at home Lauren dragged her into her car and drove us both. 

When we got there, Lauren got out of the car to come with us but Ella quickly told her she needn't because she didn't want to appear to be a burden, Lauren assured her she wasn't but Ella being Ella ignored her and told her to go home so Lauren had no other option, so it was just me and your mum. I'd called Alfie on the way to the hospital and he'd told me he was calling a taxi and would be there as soon as he could, but how long it would take him to get here we didn't know, but what we did know was that Alfie would have fought his way through hell and back to make sure he was the for his birth. 

I stayed by your mum's side until Alfie arrived, I held her hand throughout every contracting, reminding her to breath, reassuring her when she cried out in that at the end of all of this she would have you and so keeping that thought in mind she struggled through the pain determined to do whatever it took to meet you.

Alfie eventually arrived and ran to Ella he gave her a hug and kissed the top of her head repeatedly muttering apologies to her before she told him to shut up and she grabbed his hand and still to this day I do not know how she didn't break his hand she was squeezing it that hard, his eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head, I remember laughing to myself as I went to find Henry and I sat down with him in the waiting room. 

Whilst we were waiting for you to arrive and you took your sweet time may I add, me and Henry were pissing ourselves laughing about how the two most irresponsible people we knew were now parents, but to be honest we were both relieved that the two people we cared about most in this world now finally had something to live for, something they would never ever leave behind, how wrong we both were. 

A couple of hours later, we got a message from Alfie telling us the room number they were in and told us to come up to the ward and to this day I still have the picture he sent me of Ella in the background with her middle finger up scowling whilst Alfie was beaming with a thumbs up. I knew all too well that Ella would have gone ballistic at Alfie for taking a picture of her just moments after giving birth but that photo means more to me now than it ever dad back then, that photo was the beginning of their new chapter. 

After looking at the picture me and Henry looked at each other and instantly smiled, we were both now an aunt and an uncle, not related by blood, but through something mush stronger, through friendship, love, trust and loyalty. 

I'll never forget the moment I first met you, after me and Henry had been searching through - I'm not exaggerating here - about ten different wards and corridors before we found where you guys were, anyway Ella was holding you in her arms, beaming down at you, she looked so happy with Alfie lead beside you both smiling at his two girls. 

Ella looked at me and said "Jodie, I'm free, I have a healthy baby girl, we have a daughter." 

I walked over to them both and hugged them tightly before congratulating them and then for the first time ever I saw you, I held you in my arms and I couldn't believe just how fragile you looked but yet so beautiful and I didn't understand how I already felt so much love for you, how I cared for you already and that was the moment I became fiercely protective of you, my niece. 

Eventually I parted with you and passed you back to your dad, who gazed down at you like you were the one thing he'd been missing his whole life. 

When you were passed to Henry told hold, I took Alfie outside of the room and enveloped him in a hug, this was one of those rare occasions where mine and Alfie's friendship was actually serious when we weren't five seconds away from murdering one another. 

I said to him, "I'm so proud of the person you've become. You're gonna be an amazing dad, don't ever doubt that." Alfie held me a little tighter after I'd said that, both of us thankful we'd become friends, thankful no matter how difficult it may have been that our childhoods became intertwined. 

The following morning, Lauren came to see you, the only member of Ella's family that she had permitted to visit. When she held you she started crying as she turned to her sister and said "I'm so proud of you sis, she's gorgeous just like you and I know you're going to be a fantastic mum, she's the missing piece." 

As me and Henry were about to leave the hospital both of us exhausted from not having any sleep in over twenty four hours, Ella stopped us and told Alfie he had to tell us your name before we left. 

He looked at me and smiled before saying "Jasmine Jodie Wilson, neither of my girls would be here without you Jodie, thankyou for everything." 

I was speechless. I couldn't quite believe that your middle name was my own name, knowing that I had a part in your parents happiness was overwhelming, but that was the day we'd all promised to love and care for you unconditionally because Jasmine, you didn't just complete Ella and Alfie ; you completed me and Henry as well."