Double Sided Tracks

Hammer Time

Lewis felt so incredibly alone, in a room full of people, he felt so incredibly alone. He left the party to go to the gym instead, then he laid himself on the floor when he found that exerting himself doesn't make him feel better.

He feel shittier than he was when he lost his eight, though maybe he should stop comparing Nora to a trophy. It doesn't matter, trophies doesn't matter, none of it matters. He knows he's the best, but it almost feel mute when he knows he lost.

There was a shuffling noise that made him lifted his head to see what—or who it was. It's Angela.

Their relationship never fully recovered, Angela is a woman of grace and forgiveness but he knows he'd cross so many lines. Angela still is not working with him, she's still employed by Mercedes, though Toto has been nudging him to make more effort to grovel and get her back.

Angela smiled, "skipping the party?" she asked, handing him a towel.

He wanted to cry, so bad. They had a conversation months after the whole thing happened, she apologised for slapping him, he told her she didn't need to and that he deserved it. She explained how shitty it was for him to even say that, to reduce Nora to a game, a trophy, and saying that he won her.

He agreed, not a single word were said to defend himself.

"The party is here," he said, trying to sound lightly, trying to be funny. He's decided that he can't feel sorry for himself, not anymore. Because he wanted this— well, not wanted. But, he caused this, he did this, and he didn't exactly try hard to stop it from tumbling apart.

Nora scared him, in a good way. Now he knows it's in a good way, that fear. Like being scared of messing up a race, because you know the risk is too massive. That fear is there when you know you're fighting for the big thing. Being scared of Nora is like that, the fear he has is because of the immense want and love he developed. It's an equation.

Scared of the commitment, scared of hurting her in the future— but his brain takes that as, oh let's just cut it off from now, let's hurt her now so she doesn't have to go through that in the future.

His brain is maddening.

And, his brain needs to stop comparing her to racing.

Angela gave him a thin smile like she pity him, and he wanted to cry. "Ange," he started then stopped himself. Does he deserve to ask what he's about to ask? Does he want to know the answer?

Angela nodded, sitting herself beside him on the floor. He's still splayed on the floor, eyes on the ceiling. "Are they together?" he asked quietly.

Lewis could hear Angela's sucked in a breath, the tiny smack of her lips separating. Like she opened her mouth then closed it, "Hammy," she started and oh, nice. He get Hammy back.

"I know you and Brad are together," he said quickly, like catching her in the act. But he wanted her to know he knows, so if Nora is with Max, she'd know.

"Lewis, don't." She whispered.

He closed his eyes tightly to the point he could see stars behind his eyelids, like driving in 35 degrees weather in Qatar. He feels so lightheaded all of a sudden. Angela doesn't need to say anything more, he got his answer.

"You broke her heart," She started, "Max is there to pick up the pieces."

He closed his eyes tighter, fists clenches so tightly it hurts. He didn't realised he was crying until Angela kind of maneuvered him to a sitting position and hugged him, she didn't say anything.

He knows, he knows, he knows he lost his chance. He broke her heart. Maybe Nora is happy now, but he can make her happier. He's selfish, he wants her.

"I love her, Ange."

She patted his back, "I know." She said, "you tend to do stupid shit when you love someone."

"what do I do?" he asked, more like pleading and Lewis can see the mental turmoil in her head. Like she's stuck between two choices.

She stayed quiet for a few minutes, then sighed. "You do what you always do, I supposed." She started, and Lewis almost got a whiplash staring at her face. "Full send, Hamilton."

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ONE MORE CHAPTER !!!

also note: 

Angela doesn't know what about to comes down next chapter. also I have a different ending that can be connected to the sequel (lewis Ferrari) let me know if you want me to post that or just go ahead with sequel