Double Sided Tracks

Burning House

The walk from Lewis' place to the car was a blur, is this what the burning room feels like? Is this the ending of their story? Is this it?

She had prepared herself for this, for this pain. Knew from the beginning they will have no ending, that an English F1 driver– one of the best and a Qatari woman, simply wouldn't work.

"You're not just Nora." Was what Max had told her when she was freaking out in Bora Bora. But, she is. She is just Nora. Because if she's not just Nora, she would have agreed to move to Monaco. She'd kiss him, jump to his arms, and most importantly she wouldn't be hunched in the car sobbing.

She wouldn't have found out what the burning room feels like, and maybe they'd have an ending to their story. A better one.

But, she's just Nora.

For the past 8 months she has been putting everything she feels on him, giving her energy to him. Building and finding comfort in him. Walking away from Lewis made her feel instantly empty, never realising just how much of her she put in him. It felt like everything she had within her is now shared with him while nothing of him is shared with her, the one thing she had was the fact that she loves him. She was holding on to it like it was a sacred secret, shared between her and every single cell in her. No one else.

Now he knows and she has nothing left. She has nothing because her love was unrequited, unanswered– returned.

He was supposed to hurt her in an easy way. In a way other men had hurt her– which was walking away when they realised she would not have sex with them. He was supposed to hurt her and left her in the most trivial, silly and juvenile way. In a way that will make her scoff, hate him, and walk away saying how all men are animals and are the same.

He wasn't supposed to stay, carved a hole in her heart, took space in her life, made her fall in love then– then hurt her.

She sat down, held the steering wheel and cried. She sobbed to the point where she could feel a bile coming out. Someone opened her passenger seat and climbed in, she could feel the tiny dip in the car. Nora wishes it's a robber (though she knew it wouldn't be the case, since she's in Monaco) and she'll get stabbed– it'll hurt less.

It's Angela, who instantly rubs her back trying to comfort her. "Oh darling," she said. "Let it out."

She cried like she had lost someone, and– she did. In a way. "Angela," is all she said before sobbing. Angela gently pulled her away from the steering wheel and leaned her back on the seat. "Angela," she repeated again, like it's all she could say.

"I know, I'm sorry." Angela whispered, wiping her tears away. But it's useless, it's like broken taps.

She clutches her chest, unconsciously pulling the collar of her blouse. "It hurts," is all she said. "My chest– I–" she said, and clutched her chest again, looking at Angela while still sobbing.

"I know, I know." Angela keeps repeating, she holds Nora's hand that's clutching her chest, and uses her free hand to cradle her face to her shoulder. "I know, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." she whispered, voice drowned out by her tiny hiccups and sobs.

At some point, Angela must've helped her move to the back seat and buckled her seatbelt. Everything feels unreal, like being chased in your dream. You're exhausted and fuzzy, she can feel her tears are falling like crazy. She couldn't control it.

Angela helped her get into bed, tucked her under the warm duvet, Nora immediately turned to her side and cried. Angela doesn't try to stop her. She climbed into the bed instead, laying on top of the duvet– not wanting to let the cold air in, the way Nora is shivering, and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry," she whispered to her, Angela doubted she could hear anything. Her own sobs must be deafening.

After what felt like hours, when Angela thought she finally fell asleep. She whispered a small, "Angela."

Angela hugs her tighter, to let her know she's there and still awake. "I'm here," she said, when Nora didn't say anything.

"Was any of it real?" he asked, with a hoarse voice. She doesn't know whether Angela could hear her or not, she doesn't even recognize her own voice. "Did he ever care about me?" she asked, because she's a masochist.

Please say yes, because if not, I will feel like the stupidest person on earth. And he deserves an Oscar for acting like he cared.

Angela took a deep breath, "I don't doubt for a second that he cared. I know he cared."

"I feel so stupid." she said, exhaustedly. "I love him." she said, then quietly sobs. Like running to a burning house.

"Lewis Hamilton wouldn't know a good thing if it's thrown on his face." Angela said angrily, "he was a better person with you, being loved by you was a good thing."

Nora continues crying quietly and doesn't say anything. Angela continues, "he said that to hurt me." she said. "He said that because he knows I side with you,"

"Angela you don't have to–" I know he's your boss, and your friend– you don't have to lie for him.

Angela, like she had read her mind, shook her head quickly. "No, I– I'll tell him I quit,"

Before Nora could protest, she hugged her tighter and sush-ed her. "Listen, I think in the beginning, he wanted you because he saw the way Max wanted you." she said, and Nora let out a sob.

"Well, Verstappen lost this time. I had her first."

Angela gently pulled her body so she could hug her better, "Then he couldn't care less about Max." she continues, rubbing Nora's back trying to calm her down. "Lewis is– I think, thinking that he wants you because Max wanted you made him feel better about the fact that he's ready to throw away everything for you." she said. "If he relates your relationship to competition, into racing, it won't feel as scary admitting that you have power over him." Angela continued, when Nora stayed quiet.

They both stayed quiet for a few minutes, "why did it feel like he had all the power?" she whispered. Angela couldn't say anything, just held her tighter.

Maybe Nora had the power over him, but Lewis was simply too good at making her feel powerless. He gets her to stay, to act like they're tied without tying anything down.

"You think he's nice? You don't get to win 7 times, losing relationships and friendships in the process by being nice." Max had told her once, and she gets what he meant now.

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I'm hiding now 🫢
This has to happen, it's for the plot 🫢