Adopted By Hamilton

Chapter 25. Midnight Treats

Lin's POV

"Lin! It's Sam!" I saw Alex carrying Sam in his arms and set him down on my couch. I internally panicked. "What happened?" I asked, stressing out. "I was chasing him and Daveed in good fun, and I found him curled up basically hyperventilating in Leslie's dressing room," Alex explained. "I tried to calm him down but no matter what I did his breath did come down. It was like he was in his own trance. I think he fell asleep after a little bit."

This is no bueno. Maybe he had another panic attack? I feel so horrible that I wasn't there. I cant have him asleep right now, he won't sleep tonight, and we have had many sleepless nights with him. I went over to him and lightly shook him. "Sam. Buddy I need you to wake up please." He groaned a little bit and muttered something that was incoherent to me. "Buddy come on. I need you to wake up," I said again. "Don't hurt me daddy!" Sam muttered again. This time in a higher pitch. My heart broke. I know he had a rough past with his dad, and I want to absolutely kill that motherfucker. "Sam, it's Lin. You are safe. I need you to wake up," I tried again. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. I could see he wasn't doing good.

His eyes welled with tears again and I could see he was trying to keep composure. "Sam, it's okay. You are safe. It's Lin. I'm here," I reassured him and wrapped my arms around his small frame. Even though he has been eating more, I can still feel his ribs through a hoodie and flannel.

"I'm sorry," he muttered out. It crushed my heart that he thought he needed to apologize for showing emotion. "It's okay buddy. You are safe." I needed him to know that I was a safe person he could go to. I need him to see that everything is okay. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked hoping he would say yes. But to no surprise he just shook his head.

His breath was getting unsteader by the second, so I just resorted to what I knew, singing. I picked a softer tune from Heights. This was a musical I had barley. indoctrinated Sam to.

"Alabanza. Alabanza a Dona Claudia, Senor. Alabanza, Alabanza. Alabanza. Alabanza a Dona Claudia, Senor. Alabanza, Alabanza. Alabanza. Alabanza a Dona Claudia, Senor. Alabanza, Alabanza...," I slowly sang. I could hear him humming the lyrics with me. "Do you know this one?" I asked. He simply nodded his head. I pulled him closer to me. Him now cuddled into my side. He looked up at me, now with his breath eased. "In the Heights was the first and only musical I had the soundtrack CD to. I remember singing it when I was really small. I didn't know it was by you until I met you, but I just remember being so in love with it. It was and is really one of the only musicals I like."

My heart melted at that fact. I really thought he had never seen or heard of any musicals, but to hear that he connected with the one that I made for people like him made me so happy.

"When-," Sam started and stopped. It was like he was trying to gather the right words before he spoke. I looked down at him and tried my best to show him that I was listening, that I was really listening to what he had to say. "I used to mainly sing 'Breathe' and 'Alabanza' when my parents were fighting," he confessed. I was about to speak before he started again, "It was the only thing that would calm me down." I could see that he was trying to open up to me, but it was like there was a brick wall blocking everything. It was like he was just moving the extra bricks in front of the wall and not really breaking the wall down. It's okay though, I can see he is trying.

I then got an idea. "Hey, how about you and I after the show we get a little treat?" I asked hoping he would say yes, because quite frankly I wanted one too. He nodded, sniffling. "Yay!" I squealed like a little girl. Sam laughed. His smile could light up a room. I wish he showed it more often.

Sam isn't the most affectionate person, but him just laying here with me, letting me guard him; to be the person he can find comfort in is huge. It's a big step in the right direction.