Alastor X Reader: Blood For Freedom

17. Companionship

***TW: Brief Mention of self harm

*** Your POV ***

You were sitting on your bed, flipping through a book when you heard a polite knock on the door.

"Come in!"

Alastor sauntered in, holding his cane behind his back with one hand, gently closing the door behind him with the other. He did not say anything at first, which was a little odd, so you put your book down on the side of the bed and swung your feet off the side. Waiting for him to explain his little visit, instead he just kept standing there for a bit with his hand on the doorknob. The silence sat quiet for a second, and it felt like a little battle of wills on who will break it first. Surprisingly, Alastor did.

"You seemed chummy, with that prince." He stated simply, taking his hand off the doorknob finally and turning around to face you.

"Mmhhh. I guess. He was my only friend for a long time." You explained a little confused.

"I thought you wouldn't keep such company considering your... current masters." Alastor's voice was crackly and strained.

"Not all royals are the same. Now his ex wife, however, is a real piece of work." You snorted remembering Stella and her basically ongoing stream of profanity.

"You make a habit of befriending your captors?" He twirled his cane around to in front of him, placing both hands on it.

"Its not about that, Stolas was kind to me in a time when very few others were. And he's a good man, and a good friend, with similar... tastes." You tiled your head, this line of questioning was really, really odd. And what was more odd was the way sir I-always-make-uncomfortably-direct-eye-contact wouldn't so much as catch your eye. Instead seeming to be fixated on a spot on the floor.

"He is still part of the family who owns your soul. How can you be so..." Alastor's smile betrayed a bit of a scowl, "familiar with him?" Your eyes widened briefly. Was he... jealous? You told yourself that seemed quite impossible. And yet, with the way his fingers were flexed at the top of his cane it seemed like he was some kind of agitated. You opted to just explain what happened in brief detail.

"His wife's side of the family had rented my services because Octavia kept getting hurt and according to Andrealphus it was ' bad for their image.' Well, she was hurting herself actually, I tried to tell them, but they wouldn't listen. I took care of her for a few decades. I guess you could say I was kind of like her nanny. I enjoyed my time with her, but every night I had to go back to their palace... and they were most cruel." You voice buckled at the memory. "Stolas found out, Via had came out to greet me in the morning one day, and witnessed something she shouldn't have then she immediately told her father. He tried to convince them to let me stay at his place instead, but they refused. Stella specifically thought we were having an affair but that was never the case. So he did the best he could to make me comfortable every day I was over there. It kept me sane for the years until Via got older and I was transferred to a different family."

Alastor listened intently, still not facing you directly. He had this horrible feeling in his chest, like a churning pot of bile. It was unfamiliar, and almost physically painful. Flashes of you and Stolas dancing pierced his eyes, the laughter that rang out from you rung in his ears. "That doesn't explain why you let him get so close to you." Alastor was not quite understanding what he was trying to get at himself, but it was the best words he could find for the frustration he felt at the closeness you showed to Stolas.

"Gee Alastor, sorry for craving some kind of companionship in the middle of my life consisting of being passed around between royal dungeons, each one worse than the next." You didn't mean to sound antagonizing, but this was a little silly. Stolas was an old time friend, you weren't about to be made feel bad for having one. That is on top of the fact that he had already made himself plenty clear on how he felt about looking for connection in hell before.

"I am simply pointing out that your little 'friend 'is very much still holding the other end of your leash." His voice was monotone, curt, defensive.

"He's never acted like it." You were growing a bit indignant, "And why are you so invested in it anyways? What's it to you if I had or have a friend? You can think I'm pathetic for it all you want, its not up to you who I confide in."

"I..." Alastor was about to lash out raising his staff in a motion of protest that was cut short by his own chest stopping him, contracting in a strange sensation of pulling himself back before saying something he didn't mean. He wanted to say he didn't care but that was a lie, and the worst part is he knew that if he looked into your eyes he would see that you weren't falling for it. You never did fall for his ruses. But even if he did want to admit to feeling something about it, he didn't even know how to describe it. And there was that word again, pathetic. So instead he dropped his staff back down, fixating his gaze on its shiny red top before stammering out, "I don't know."

Pathetic. His shadow was right, Alastor thought, you did take it as him calling you pathetic that day. No wonder you had pulled away so much since, and no wonder you jumped at the opportunity to reconnect with an old friend who gave you the attention and care you oh so craved. Your words were harsh, and Alastor gaze grew uncertain despite his ever present smile.

Your gaze softened, Alastor was clearly struggling with something within himself. You started on trying to comfort him, "Alastor, I - "

"Do you still?" Alastor interrupted, finally making eye contact with a side glance.

"Still what?"

"Crave companionship?" He kept looking at you with his trained smile, but his domed eyebrows betrayed the genuine curiosity. You breathed out, your chest deflating.

"Of course I do. "

Alastor picked his cane back up and made a few steps towards you reaching out his elegant gloved hand, his expression hopeful and slightly embarrassed. "Well, then would you allow me, to be your... companion?"

"I'd..." you were taken aback by the question. It was such a weird way to word things. You also had no idea as to why after denouncing your own pull for connection. But you weren't about to reject what at least looked like a genuine attempt. "I'd really like that." You finally got out, putting your hand into his fingers.

"Good!" Alastor's cheery tone returned as he pulled you to your feet with featherlight ease. Your response made him feel better, the gnawing feeling didn't quite go away, but at the very least it ebbed a little. He brought your fingers to his lips, warm and heavy as always, but this time he lingered there for a second, taking a large inhale and watching you with lidded eyes before letting go. "Well, I shall be off for tonight then darling." With that he left, in a hurry. Leaving you standing in the middle of your room, quite confused at the interaction.