Alastor X Reader: Blood For Freedom

8. Stressed

*** Trigger warning: Descriptions of Violence

*** Alastor's POV ***

I was walking through a dark corridor with a door at the end. My legs were heavy as lead, and the more I walked towards it the further away it seemed to become. Something grabbed me on my ankle, I turned around to see a large man crawling on the ground, with a face I would never forget - my fathers.

"You won't get away from me!" He growled. I yanked my leg out trying to get him off but I toppled over, stretching my arms out to to reach for the door. Suddenly as I fell forwards my finger tips classped on the doorknob even though it was dozens of feet away seconds prior. I pulled it open, a white bright light blinding me for a moment. When my eyes adjusted I saw my mothers face hanging upside down from the edge of a bed, her dark black curls in disarray, mouth agape with blood pouring out of her eyes and nose.

"You couldn't protect me........" She croaked raising her arm to point a finger at me.

"I'm sorry Ma! I'm sorry!" I yelled but got caught off as I got picked up by my throat at slammed into what felt like a brick wall, the whole world seeming to flip upside down. I kept being slammed as many voices screeched "Your fault. Your fault. Couldn't protect." Some were becoming more high pitched and hissing "Weak! Useless!" Finally I was thrown from a window, glass breaking against my back and another voice whispered into my ears. "Monster. Unforgivable. Unlovable."

"No!" I jolted upright in my bed, sweating profusely, tears falling from my eyes. I put my palm to my face, smile still there. Good. I breathed slowly trying to steady myself. A lifetime and a century of the same nightmare and I still couldn't shake it off. I swung my feet around to the meet the ground. Instead of freaking out, I did what I have taught my self to do. Just assess the current situation, thinking back of the last few days.

The wound was no longer bothering me, I woke up the next morning with it almost healed and by the evening it was gone, only leaving a thin scar. It was such a relief, though I found my self a little disappointed at not having a good reason to come see you, or to taste your blood again.

You and I had a few brief conversations since, in which you admitted that you only knew of the injury from past experience. This only raised more questions though, like how long does someone have to be doing this for them get that level of perception? I mean, nobody noticed - I even went to visit Rosie that week and she didn't say anything. And she's known me since I manifested here!

*** a few days prior, before the night Alastor cooked jambalaya ***

"Rosie! My dear! I have come baring gifts!" I had hunted down a bloke just a few hours prior and carved out his heart and intestines for Rosie, she really enjoyed them.

"Alastor! So good to see you!" She walked up to me and dusted off the front of my suit gently. "Oohh, such a charmer." Rosie took the boxes from me and passed them off to one of her servants, "Come in, come in, we haven't gotten to catch up in so long!"

I followed her into her manor, which was very elegantly furnished. Not entirely my cup of tea, I preferred a more rustic style, but I still had to appreciate the meticulous detail and regal furniture every time I came here. As we sat down in her lounge area a squat little cannibal child ran up and asked "Can I bring you some drinks?"

"A lady grey tea for me and a...?" Rosie prompted me to answer,

"Coffee, medium roast, black, please." I was not a fan of tea most of the time. With that the little kid ran off somewhere. I watched him run before shifting my gaze back to Rosie, noticing a brand new silver necklace with an anatomical heart shaped locket on it.

"Pretty little piece," I noted nodding at her neck.

"Oh this? Yeah, met a real charming lad  a few months back, so thoughtful! Oh and a wonderful in bed!" She blushed and waved her fingers. I shook my head a little, she was on about things like that and I never understood it. Especially since she often ended up eating the poor fellows after a little while. "Oh he really makes it feel lovely, so much passion and heat -" She went on an entire description it all, that I completely tuned it as usual, " - haven't had a lover like that in a while!"

"Well I'm glad you found someone to entertain you." I took the cup from the boy who has now come running back, taking a sip.

"Why thank you deer - ha," Rosie laughed at herself, "Its been a while since you've entertained yourself though. Anybody interesting at that hotel?"

Briefly a few images of you flew through my mind. You sitting on the couch with your legs curled up under you, sketching something. You reaching over the receptionist desk, having to jump up on your tippy toes and basically lay down on it to reach a paper someone left. Your face as I caught you looking at me again and you hastily looking away, returning your gaze to whomever you were supposed to be paying attention to.

"No." I responded curtly.

"You hesitated!" Rosie popped up from her lounging position putting her drink down with a clink, "Who is it, you must tell me who has finally after over half a century caught your interest."

"There is nobody Rosie, you know I'm just not interested in that sort of thing. Romantically or otherwise." I protested.

"I know I know, but I just keep hoping you would at least find someone who can break those walls of yours down, it would do you good. Even if its isn't romantic, just someone who you can let go around. I've known you for so long and yet I could never do it."

I did feel a little guilty for that, but I couldn't help it. Rosie has been there for me since basically the day I manifested here, I trusted her more than anyone, and yet I never totally let my guard down. Maybe it was because she was a cannibal like myself and I have literally watched her eat multiple romantic partners and friends after a bad enough slip up. Frankly, I was stronger than her now so I doubt that could happen even if she tried. But it was more than that, I just didn't want to, the idea made me feel resentful. I wasn't even planning on telling her of the gauging wound on my chest because I didn't want her to know I was weakened right now.

"Oh nevermind, I have more important business to discuss." Rosie begrudgingly switched topics, "The V's are making a move, what are you planning to do about it?"

That caught my attention, "What is the filthy flat face up to now?"

"Right I forget you don't watch any TV, he has been hyping up your little hotel. Velvette has been making 'Hazbin' merch, and even Valentino is making a show of pipelining people to there."

"But they haven't talked to anyone about it, no one has even came by." I thought out loud.

"Hmmm" Rosie hummed, "They probably aim to make a big enough show of it that when they do come; Charlie and Daddy won't be able to say no without making a huge mess."

"Most likely, but what do they have to gain?" I finished my coffee and put the cup down, "Working with the hotel, means working with me, I doubt Vox has any intention for that to be friendly."

"I really don't know." Rosie shrugged, "My best guess is they intend to start a war with heaven, and where there is war, there is profit to be made."

We continued chatting, trying to come up with a good reason for the way the V's were acting, but came up empty aside from the obvious. Profits. Eventually I came back to the hotel, the conversation still lingering in my mind.

*** present day ***

After reminiscing on that memory my breathing had calmed a bit. But I still would not be able to sleep, which wasn't good, I was supposed to go with Charlie to her fathers tomorrow for a debrief about the V's. Looks like they caught wind of what they were doing too, and it was time to figure out if we could do much of anything.

I walked up to my dresser and opened the drawer, taking out a small bottle of sleeping pills. I hated using them, they made me so groggy the next morning but it was better than not sleeping at all. To my dismay though, the bottle was empty - I forgot I had used the last of them before the battle.

"Crap." I muttered, thinking. An idea came into my head - there was a cabinet with pills in the employee kitchen, they had to have some there. I grabbed a button down to put over my bare chest and headed downstairs to see if I could at find some relief for the night.