Alastor X Reader: Blood For Freedom

34. Obviously

*** Trigger warning, brief mention of physical trauma/wishing for death

*** Alastor's POV ***

I don't know what came over me after I realized my mother lost all memory of me. I held the hope that my mother would still love the unlovable man I had become on a pedestal. And it was in shambles in front of me. I felt so hollow and empty, like there was not a thing left in me. The world went dark and heavy like an infinite void in which my only anchor was you.

You were the only person who has seen my smile go and lived to tell about it, never mind seeing me cry. And yet I couldn't help but feel eternally grateful that you were there to hold me, to tell me that you would do everything to stay by me. I don't know what I would have done otherwise. Probably go on a murder rampage until some celestial being or other put me down for good.

Whatever was left in my heart at that point was the part of me that knew I couldn't loose you. I knew it was an impossible ask for you to promise to stay, with your soul not being in your ownership. But I was going to change that - either you were getting it back or it was going to be mine. Preferably mine. Mine. The idea of that was comforting in a way.

My emotions were all over the place still, but something about your soft form wrapped tightly in my arms was grounding to me and holding you at least helped me stabilize enough to put my smile back on for the others. I was fine letting it down around you - but the others would never see me that way or so help me.

Charlie, her father and girlfriend, came back in relatively bright spirits, which was good news. But they insisted on going back to the hotel before they spilled the news of what had transpired at the meeting so they could do it to everyone at once. I had you hold on to my arm as we exited the room and made our way out of the gates, aware of Saint Peter watching us the whole time. We were about to cross the threshold when he finally stepped out and whispered.

"Do not tell anyone -"

"You don't have to worry, I think I was mistaken after all. She looked a lot like my mother but now that I think about it her face and eyes were off." I assured him with a lie. I could only assume this was not information they wanted Charlie and the rest to know. It would be best if he didn't know for sure if we had realized. You squeezed my arm with your fingers in acknowledgment.

"Oh." Saint Peter breathed out, "Oh well okay then. Good day." He stumbled then walked away in a hurry.

We all came back to the hotel and sat around the coffee table in one of the smaller lounge areas. The company consisting of the main cast: my self, Charlie, Lucifer, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husker, Nifty, and you. Though technically you didn't need to be there as you generally stayed out of the higher workings of the hotel, but with what just happened I wasn't letting you out of my sight. It was the only thing holding me together at the moment.

*** Your POV ***

"So long story short, they have agreed to help us but they are insisting on a limit of how many people can go up each year." Charlie began her explanation.

"That's generally good news." Angel Dust observed, "How was Pentious?"

"We.... don't know." Charlie admitted looking down. "They wouldn't let us see him."

"What? Why?"

"Not sure to be honest." The princess shrugged before moving on, but you knew why - Pentious must have also lost his memories like Alastor's mom, and heaven didn't want people to know that. "They also expressed that they want to see sinners with more... deep sins rehabilitated before they agree to take the program out of the probationary stage."