'I don't feel good'
Maybe it was me overreacting and maybe it was also me to blame,
All of the burdens I carry alone and my soul started to catch the flame,
Now I'm starting to feel the weight which causes me a terrible pain,
Stabbing my chest open just because I can.
And now here I am questioning everything,
Even the smallest inconvenience and all of my fake acting,
My weather kept on changing but now it was just rain,
Waiting for the sun to come out but it wouldn't make me fain.
Right now I'm contemplating my choices,
I'm starting to give up deafening all of the voices,
I'm feeling like running away,
But the problem won't solve I'm still stuck in dismay.
I'm hoping this is just a phase,
Even when I'm sad it shouldn't be the case,
I'm an adult now, the problem I'm facing is adult too,
I'm wasting my youth, wishing the better I knew.
Does the feeling I'm having is valid?
It felt too intense and started to become a habit,
I'm torturing myself, it's not funny anymore,
I'm starting to feel so sad that I'm hurting my own core.
Who am I blaming, is it you or is it God?
Oh, even when I plead no one saved me from my demon that I fought,
Did they hear my scream or was it all confined in my thought?
My tearless crying and all of the directions that I sought.
Once again, I'm having a dilemma,
Every time I'm close to the ending I always leave it with a comma,
I still wanna keep writing even though it contains only trauma,
I can't erase what I wrote but the future can be a beautiful drama.
tamat.
-2024
