'Daisy'
How can someone be wiser when I'm growing older and always wonder,
The alarm's ringing and the sun is setting but I'm still in a fever,
Wake up sobbing and crying,throwing up and still trying,
I just failed everytime,get up from my fall look around,and no one's standing.
I feel anxious with the problems mounting the throne where I sit,
Within seconds I decided to ghost people that already in my life trying to fit,
No matter how long we've known each other,they stood there and blinking,
I was just awkwardly staring with crooked smile and just waving.
Maybe it's the narcissistic manner in me that took over,
Or probably the ego I have,made me decide when I wasn't sober,
Everyone reaches out to me, not casting me out,
I was under the weather,not looking up,not looking like a fraud.
I have this feeling which nobody likes me,not even my shadow,
I always thought they hate my guts with their fake smile they're trying to show,
But then I realised,its me. I am the problem technically,
I pushed people over and wonder why I'm unloved and always lonely.
Why do I look like I'm lying when the truth reflects in the mirror,
Just how the image I created of myself made me stop thinking,it was blur,
I grew up to be a blooming daisy,
I wish to know why I grew up becoming a poison ivy.
I drew stars around my name with my heart that's now bleeding,
How I despise my own unkind words,I kept on telling,
I could turn out to be someone nice,
But now I'm walking around with a heart as cold as ice.
tamat.
-2022
