'Mature'
Back in school when I was with a group of friends,
It was my nightmare but you wish it will never end,
Our memories fade like bloodstain on an old shirt in a car,
You kept it like a polaroid but I kept it like a scar.
Looking back wishing I could run,
But for you it was the best moment of fun,
Each seconds of time I was like a fish out of water,
Never said a word and people assumed I was just quieter.
Now I see you in motionless pictures,
But you only can see me in some whispers,
A friend to all but never to one,
And when a friend slipped away you thought they're gone.
You'd cancel your plan for our plan,
I'd cancel my plan to ruin our plan,
Never said yes to any of your invitations,
Now I'm sitting alone stop receiving invitations.
I know you were trying to wash me away,
I tried but the memories never stray,
Like an old yearbook I tried to hide,
On top of a rack but when I'm near it will always glide.
I'm idling but not dead,
Every now and then you haunted all of my regrets,
Your laughter and your voice which I started to forget,
But our first met can never be shed.
It was all me to be blamed,
The school year left me bruised and maimed,
The silence between us now is too loud,
I know it's killing you but I always hated the crowd.
We were in the same room glances exchange but not speaking,
You blamed me for not asking about the passing,
But I've always been so recitent, a taciturn,
Two journeys to run by two runners who will never have a back turn.
It was not a feud but rather we call it maturing,
In which we slided off each others' ways of living,
Being friend with your friends to know how you were doing,
Nodding my head when I know you're all well and thriving.
tamat.
-2023
