It Started With a Cake

Ch18. Talk

It's been about a week since our interview with Caesar, the interview seemingly successful as we have surprisingly been harassed less since.

Of course the first few days after most everyone we passed gave us their congratulations, though we already answered everybody's questions so even then they never really became too involved.

Being back home in district 12 was such a relief though. I don't know how anyone could put up with being in the capital for a long period of time, our journey had only been a few days and even still I felt completely drained the very moment I stepped back into our own home.

I quite literally slept the whole day away our first evening back, Peeta too though he didn't seem quite as drained as me, only coming to bed with me at my request.

And now only  a few days later we've eased back into our old patterns.

I hear the faint beeping of Peeta's alarm clock, briefly waking me from my slumber. It's still super early, the sun barely even risen above the earth, being one of the day's Peeta goes into work at the bakery.

I feel the bed shift slightly as Peeta calmly turns the alarm off, clearly trying not to wake me.

The bed is still super warm from his radiating body heat, so comforting that I'm about to fade back into sleep when I feel a gentle hand land on my side, pulling me back to reality. I'm about to speak my feelings towards the owner of it when he whispers into the still semi dark room.

"I love you" his voice is soft and calm, barely audible, he clearly still thinks I'm asleep.

I stay still, wanting to hear what he has to say to my supposed sleeping body and It takes me a moment to realise he isn't actually talking to me, but instead talking to my stomach, or more specifically the baby growing inside of it.

"Grow strong little one and be nice to your mommy" he finishes off, his voice maintaining it's gentle energies.

His hand gently moves down closer to the actual bump, a tingling feeling coming to my skin at his contact.

His lips come to meet my head and I take this moment to let him know I'm awake.

I hum as I turn towards his embrace the hand originally resting on my side sliding along my abdomen with the movement.

"Hey" he hums back in response once he notices my open eyes.

I hum again, snuggling in further into his embrace.

"You finally talking to me now" I quip back groggily, still on the verge of sleep.

He looks confused for a moment then the realisation hits him and he chuckles lightly.

"You heard that did you?"

I smile nodding briefly.

He smiles back sheepishly in response, "sorry if I woke you, I just like to speak to the baby before I leave"

My smile brightens at that, "don't worry it was cute"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah" I repeat back reassuringly.

"Do you think the baby can actually hear us?" I ask him quizzically after a moment of silence.

I watch as he thinks my question over a second, "yeah. I remember reading some of the posters in Dr Jenkins room, I think one of them said the baby's hearing has began development at this stage"

I try to think back to the office, of course I remember all of the posters in it, there are tons of them lining the walls which makes them hard to miss, but I don't actually remember ever reading any of them, only being slightly terrified of all the pictures they show, like a picture of the cervix dilating, or the size of a full term baby.

I guess Peeta had actually paid attention to them.

And then I feel guilty, I hadn't even bothered to learn about these type of things, let alone speak to the baby. I've been treating this baby as if it's a thing and not a growing human.

Peeta must catch the guilty look my face gives out because he's quick to ask me what's wrong.

"I'm so awful, I haven't spoken to this baby or cared to learn about it's growing at all" I tell him sadly.

"You're not awful, and you have cared to learn about it's development. You're always keen for new updates on the baby, and you want to hear every thought Lucy has about it's growth, don't you?"

I sigh, I guess I have but clearly not as much as Peeta has.

"Not as much as you have" I state bleakly.

Peeta frowns, "doesn't mean you don't care"

I shrug.

Peeta pulls me in closer to his embrace, whispering 'I love you' as he caresses my shoulders and back.

"You're doing amazing" he whispers after a moment. But the guilt inside me is still lingering.

"How long have you been doing it?" I ask him gently, pulling back to search his expression.

"What talk to the baby?" He questions, I nod shortly.

He thinks a moment, "well I've always sort of said things to it, short things like telling it I love them. But I have only just recently started having conversations with it"

"Well one sided conversations" he adds with a hint of a smile.

I smile, at least I hadn't been missing too much.

I watch as Peeta glances over at the alarm clock on his bedside table, sighing as he catches the displayed time.

"Gosh time has gotten away from me" he states, turning back to me.

"Will you be okay if I go?"

I nod grimly.

"Are you sure? I can stay home if you need me"

I shake my head but smile at his offer, "that's okay, besides you've missed so much the past couple of weeks, I'd be greedy if I made you miss it again"

He shakes his head, "no you wouldn't, if you need me I'll stay with you no matter what"

My smile brightens. Countless encounters of us saying those all too familiar words running through my head;

'Stay with me' I'd whisper

'Always' came his soft response.

"No it's okay, I think I'll be alright today"

He gives me a smile pulling me in to one last quick embrace before sliding out, fixing up the sheets to tuck me in before he goes.

"I love you" are his final words to me which I repeat back to him, allowing him to press a kiss to my forehead before he turns to leave the room, leaving me to my own thoughts.

I rest my hands on my bump again, caressing it slightly as I take a deep breath.

"Hi baby" my voice is a little shaky, as if I can't believe I am actually talking to my baby right now.

"I'm your mama" I say after a short pause. I wrack my brain on what to say.

"I don't know if I'll be a very good mother, but I'll try my best"

At that I don't know what else to say so I leave it there for now, deciding I will pick it up again more regularly.