I'm kinda sorry
JULIA'S POV
Another month passed. We haven't talked. No one in this school doesn't even see Mattheo.
If he's not in class then he doesn't leave his dorm. I'm getting so fed up with this. I want my boyfriend back.
I know this is so hard for him but he needs to let me help him. I can't continue like this.
He can't keep doing this to himself. He can't continue blaming himself. Making excuses not to ask for help.
He needs it and I have to give it to him. Even if by force. But he needs to know he's loved. And that someone cares about him.
I miss him so so so so much. And I'll get him back. I just hope it's not too late.
MATTHEO'S POV
Last time I slept? I don't know, it doesn't matter. This is more important. I smile flipping the pages.
I'm going crazy. But I can't help it. I can't stop myself. It's like I need something to bring me back to reality.
It doesn't matter. So what if I'm a bit crazy, aren't we all?
I get a call from my father so I immediately aparate to Malfoys Manor where my father has been staying.
"Aa, my son, have a seat" he smiles as I sit down. "How are the tasks going?" he asks. "I'm making progress, Harry is not a threat for now, Dumbledore should be killed pretty soon" I respond.
I know I shouldn't be smiling right now. I know the old Mattheo wouldn't be. But that's not me anymore.
I'm not the same as I was. I changed. Completely. Every single thing changed exept my love for Julia.
That's the only constant in my life.
Even right now when I have gone crazy I still love her. And that will never change.
"Very well, I am so proud you joined me son, we will rule the world together" he says and I smile.
It's like I'm a kid again. I finally made him proud. I smile proudly. I'm doing good in life. I'm happy.
Maybe I'm like him. But so what? He's not that bad. So what if I am like him, it won't hurt anyone.
You see this is why I love Julia. Cause with these thoughts I would be far too crazy. If it wasn't for her.
She's keeping me in my right mind. She's not forcing me to be different. She loves me for who I am. For real me.
But maybe this isn't me? Being crazy is confusing. I'm sure I'm just overthinking. This is me. Real me.
After a long interesting meeting I aparated back to my dorm. I mean mines and Julias dorm. I'm just really confused why she doesn't sleep here anymore.
Doesn't matter.
JULIA'S POV
I'm on my way to his dorm. We're gonna talk. Right now. I'm gonna confront him about all of this.
He can't continue down this path. I'm gonna help him out. I'll make sure we make it through this.
We'll go back to how it all was. When everything was perfect. And we were happy. And he was fine.
I open the door of our I mean his dorm. Of course he's at his desk. He's studying again.
But he's smiling. It makes me rethink this. Maybe I shouldn't ruin this for him. But what is there to ruin?
He's studying all the time. He doesn't sleep. He doesn't eat. He needs my help.
This is unhealthy even if it makes him happy. This is not good for him so this needs to stop.
"Hey" I say and he even turns to me for a split of a second. "Hey" he says smiling before turning back to his papers.
I close door behind me and slowly walk over to bed remove few papers which are covering the bed so I can sit down.
"Can we talk?" I ask him. My voice carrying worry, remorse, pity and most importantly sadness.
"Ehm, can it wait? I'm a bit busy these days" he responds looking at his papers.
"That's the thing. Mattheo no one saw you more then one month except in class, you don't eat, it looks like you don't sleep either, this needs to stop" I say to him worried.
"J, you're overreacting, I'm fine, I've just been a bit busy" he responds still not even looking at me.
"A bit? Mattheo, I haven't seen you in a month, I haven't spoken to you and right now you're not even looking at me, how is that overreacting" I say slightly raising my voice.
He sighs dropping a pen and standing up. "I'm just asking for some time, J, it's all fine, I'm not dying" he says.
"I gave you time, one month, Mattheo, I gave you a whole month. It didn't change anything." I say furrowing my eyebrows.
"Why can't you just be happy for me once? Finally I'm doing good in life" he says confused.
"Good? Mattheo, you're going crazy. You aren't coming out of your room. You haven't talked to me, your girlfriend, for a whole month, you don't eat, you don't sleep, how is that good? That's unhealthy Mattheo" I say almost screaming at this point.
"Julia, I'm doing a right thing. I'm finally accepting myself" he says. "But this isn't you" I scream.
"You changed and this isn't you. You're going crazy" I yell. "This is the real me" he says walking closer.
"Don't say that, cause even you don't belive that" I say narrowing my eyes. "Why can't you just accept this, J? We could be happy" he says confused.
"How could we be happy? You're going crazy. You aren't acting like yourself. You are like a complete stranger to me" I say.
"FOR FUCK SAKE, J, THIS IS ME, I DON'T SEE WHY ARE YOU SO MAD WHEN EVERYTHING IS GOING SO GOOD, J, I DON'T UNDERSTAND" he screams.
"GOOD? MATTHEO, I DON'T KNOW YOU ANYMORE. I DON'T KNOW MY OWN BOYFRIEND" I scream at him.
"THIS IS THE REAL ME" he says slamming me against the wall.
Everything crashes. He pushed me. He pushed me against the wall. I feel tears prickle my eyes.
I lost him. I lost him. This isn't him. My Mattheo would never do this.
He pushed me.
He realizes what he just did and removes his hands away from me. He's breathing hard. "J, I'm so, I'm so sorry, I don't know" he says trying to come closer but I flinch.
I didn't even wanted to, it was a reflex. His face drops. His eyes fill up with tears.
"I-i-I'll give you some time, I'm so sorry, I don't- I don't know what happened. I'm going to cool down" he say backing away.
He gets to the door. "I'm sorry" he mumbles as his voice cracks before he leaves.
I place my hand over my mouth to stop the screams. I slide down the wall. Tears streaming down both of my cheeks.
He pushed me. I can't belive he did that.
I lost him. And it is all my fault.
•|THE END OF THIS CHAPTER|•
A/N: Sorry.
Should I place 'mature' sign on this book?
Anyway thank you for reading and commenting please vote ☆->★
~love, Juliette
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𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 (𝐌.𝐑.)
Fanfiction♥︎ They were lovers. Inseparable. They loved each other more then anything but then everything changed. Mattheo turned to Dark side. And Julia she watched him leave. The boy she loved turned into boy she hated the most. They became enemies. The cons...
