𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗠𝗢𝗗𝗘 | 𝗡𝗖𝗧 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠

Falling Apart | Jeno Imagine #10

Title: Falling Apart

Genre: Angst, friends to lovers (kinda)

Warnings: mentions of drinking, reader has a breakdown (nothing new lol)

Word Count: ~1.1k

Author's Note: Lately, it feels like I've been trapped in the dark again (but I'm okay). But I can't help but put whatever is going on my head into words, and I chose Jeno for this because he seems like that type of friend who's silently there for you. He's very caring with his members, like how he was by Jisung's side when he was crying at the Dream Show 1. Jeno is the type of person I would trust being vulnerable with. Anyway, hope you enjoy reading ^ ^

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Jeno could hear the faint sound of beer cans shifting within the bag as he walked up the stairs to your apartment. The dark sky above him was illuminated by the usual city lights, along with the full moon casting its glow tonight.

As he neared your place, an unusual wave of nervousness washed over him. His decision to come here had been an impulsive, last-minute choice on his part. Earlier, he had been at Chenle's house with the others for their bi-monthly movie night. However, he was perplexed when he saw your message in the group chat saying you couldn't make it tonight. While the guys did express their wishes that you were here with him, Jeno felt your absence more than anyone in the room.

He wasn't really thinking when they were onto the second movie, and Jeno decided he couldn't take it anymore. With most of the guys already asleep, he slipped out of Chenle's place without drawing any attention. Eighteen minutes later, Jeno found himself standing outside your apartment. He hesitated for a moment before pressing the doorbell, anticipating your reaction.

Your surprise was evident when you opened the door, and a slight blush was quick to form across your cheeks. Your current attire wasn't exactly fitting for socializing, as you wore a white long-knit cardigan over your dark gray house clothes.

Despite feeling embarrassed, you greeted him softly. "Hey Jeno. Aren't you supposed to be at Chenle's?"

"Yeah, but it didn't feel the same without you there," Jeno mumbled sheepishly, scratching his head before holding up the black plastic bag in his hand. "And I thought you might want some company since it's a Friday night and all."

His words caused a small smile to spread across your face. However, you were conflicted because a part of you didn't want to let him in, knowing you weren't in the right state to see people. But you didn't have the heart to turn him away, knowing he came all the way here to be a good friend. So reluctantly, you took a step back and opened the door further so he could come inside.

Jeno quickly removed his sneakers and eagerly followed you into the living room. The two of you settled on the floor by the coffee table. The canned beer was cold against your fingertips as you opened them, the soft click of the tabs echoing in the quiet room.

The two of you exchanged quiet smiles as your cans clinked against each other in a toast. Your chins lifted in sync as you both took your first sips of the alcoholic beverage. Shortly after you placed your can down on a coaster, Jeno followed suit.

"You doing okay?" he asked, breaking the short silence between you two.

The concern in his question was understandable, considering your lack of presence at a gathering that even the most antisocial person, like yourself, wouldn't typically miss.

You responded almost too quickly, letting out a light chuckle. "Yeah, of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

However, Jeno could see through your feigned nonchalance. He somewhat predicted you'd brush him off, given he's known you for over a year. In your friend group, there was Donghyuck and Chenle who were always the loudest, with Renjun occasionally joining in to argue. Then there was Mark and Jisung trying to get the others to listen to him, while he and Jaemin watched things unfold in amusement. Out of everyone, you were always the quiet one, seemingly unperturbed by anything.

"You can be honest with me, (Y/n)," he insisted gently.

Your fingers curled around the green can, applying slight pressure. He caught a flicker of vulnerability passing through your eyes before you lowered your gaze to the wooden table.

"I just...I just feel like I'm falling apart," you confessed quietly, your resolve finally crumbling.

You paused to exhale shakily, feeling the weight of your emotions that you'd kept bottled up long past their expiration date.

"I'm so tired of holding it all together," you said, your voice cracking with emotion. "Pretending like everything's fine when it's not."

Jeno listened carefully and nodded lightly in understanding. "You don't have to pretend with me. Suppressing your emotions won't make them disappear."

Before you could register it, your cheek began to feel wet and your hands instinctively moved to cover your eyes. Fresh, hot tears soaked through your fingers as your shoulders trembled. You tried to stop the flow, but they continued unabated.

"I'm sorry," you apologized, the self-conscious part of you horrified at the act of crying in front of someone. And not just anyone, but Jeno.

The dark-haired male reached out to gently pat your shoulder. "It's okay," he whispered, his touch offering a comforting presence. Despite feeling humiliated, you sensed the sincerity in his words.

"It's just...everyone expects me to be strong and level-headed when I'm not either of those things in reality," you sobbed, tears continuing to spill out mercilessly. "No one can see that I'm suffering. No one cares."

Although Jeno wasn't great at showing it, hearing this from you made his heart sink. He had no idea you had been fighting this mental battle. Shame filled him for not recognizing your struggles sooner.

With his hand still on your shoulder, he spoke softly. "I care, (Y/n). More than I probably should, actually.

Amidst your breakdown, you picked up on the subtle implication in his response and your gaze flickered up to look at him with confusion.

A small sigh left Jeno's lips. He didn't intend for his feelings to be revealed in this way. But this was not the time to have that conversation.

"I know you don't need a confession right now," he said, shaking his head before meeting your eyes once more. "But...can I hug you?"

At first glance, Jeno didn't seem like the type of person to be physically affectionate, even with friends. However, after knowing personally you learned just how much of a softie he could be. Of course, he wasn't touchy with you out of respect. But you often witnessed this behavior with Jaemin since they were pretty close.

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding with uncertainty. Usually, you weren't someone who liked to be physically comforted—or perhaps you weren't used to it. Yet, the idea of being hugged by Jeno didn't sound too bad at that moment.

So you nodded, and he scooted over to wrap his arms around you. His embrace was firm yet gentle, not overwhelming. Enveloped in Jeno's arms, you felt a warmth spread through your chest, a sense of solace you hadn't known you needed. He let you cry into his shoulder, patting your back soothingly.

Despite the chaos of your inner turmoil, your feelings for Jeno didn't feel so platonic anymore after that night. Or maybe there had always been something there that you never gave a second thought to before. Either way, Jeno was the safest place for you right now.

Even as everything seemed to fall apart, he was there to reassure you that you didn't have to be alone anymore.

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