Dead By Night Time - [ENGLISH]

9. Guilt And Apology

Pov Asher Wilson
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Watching how blood dripped down Bea's face was probably the most horrifying thing I had seen in years, mostly because I was the cause of it. An explosion of guilt blew through my body the second her teary eyes found mine. 

I went too far this time and I knew it too. 

'Bea, I didn't-' Just before I could finish my sentence Collin Whittle, a guy who had a chill friendship with Bea, jumped in between, hovering over the crying girl who was sitting defeated on the ground. 

'Asher, get the hell away from her.' Collin growled, pointing at the other side of the hall with one hand while wrapping the other around Bea. With big steps I did as he said and slammed my fist into the wall, leaning on it after. I fucked up, and not even a little bit. 

Matt laid his hands on my shoulders calmly and squeezed them a little. 

'Take it easy dude, she's still alive.' I could hear a soft snicker in his voice, making me turn around and push him hard on the chest. 

Matt Larson, nice redheaded guy, styled in a mullet. The dumbass himself always had the most mind-blowing and life-risking ideas and he definitely had a bad influence on me. Just like this time, he was the one who whispered in my ear to "help" Bea if I dared and me and my stupid ego listened to him, of course I did. 

'I don't care that she is, I fucking made her bleed dude! While she was already injured.' I hissed in return, earning an unbothered eye roll from the redhead followed by a low chuckle. 

'Relax, you don't care about her, do you? It's just Hopkins...' He murmured, glancing back over his shoulder at what was happening. 

'Of course I do care about her, you brainless piece of shit.' I scoffed, looking at the scene as well. Most of the girls were standing in little groups at the other side of the hall, whispering about what had probably happened and some boys were gathered around the wounded girl herself together with Mister Gruson. It didn't take long before Bea suddenly got up and rushed out the hall to everyone's surprise. 

'Wilson! Get your fat ass after her, this is your fault!' Gruson shouted at me, his expression like he would kill me if I wouldn't listen to him. I nodded slightly and jogged over to the exit of the hall, annoyed by the disgusting faces I received from the other classmates. 

I was surprised by how fast wounded girls could move. Bea was already downstairs, at the end of the corridor when I jumped off the last pair of stairs with a pant. I made my way through the canteen as a shortcut, hoping I would bump into her at the other side. Some students from lower grades gave me curious looks, but I ignored them.  

I pushed the doors open and just in time managed to grab the fleeing girl by her waist from behind, pulling her against me. Loud sobs left her mouth as I did so and she sank away in my grip, making me feel even worse about this whole situation. Maybe forcing her to let me hold her wasn't the best idea, but otherwise she would run away, and I didn't want that either. 

'Bea, I need you to calm down for me.' I muttered close to her ear, fingers digging in the skin of her hips while trying to keep my hold on her. Her blood covered fingers wrapped around my wrists and she tried to pull my hands away, groaning and gasping. 

'Let go of me Asher.' She huffed, surprising me all over again by the way her voice still sounded steady. It was only a little shaky but that was due to the crying. 

I had two options right now. Or I could do as she told me to, which was letting her go, and face the fact that she probably didn't want to talk to me ever again, or I could ignore her wish and force her to listen to my first apology to her ever. 

'No, I need to talk to you.' I said firmly, already scolding myself in my mind for my tone. She shook her head and turned around to face me. After a moment of staring in her hurt and troubled eyes, I moved my gaze up to the wound on her head. 

'Let me see that.' I raised my hand to move some hair out of the view, but it got slapped away. 

'Don't touch it, it's not that bad.' She murmured, glaring at me while covering the wound with one of her hands. 

'But I hurt you, let me at least see the damage.' I said back, looking down by her gaze. I never felt this way in my entire life. It felt like I hurt the most important person in my life and that I fucked up everything and couldn't turn it back. The anger in her eyes was enough to keep making me look down, but I refused to let go of her hip. 

'There is no need for that, Asher, let me go home.'  The way her voice sounded so rough when she spoke, her words seemed to echo through my mind. I didn't know what had happened but the tension was high. 

'Then let me apologize.' I muttered, looking up at her again. Some new tears rolled down her cheeks, mixing with the track of blood from earlier. 

'Let me apologize for what I have done to you.' I added, trying to wipe some tears from her skin. She shrugged and looked aside silently. 

'What did I ever do to you to now be treated like this by you?' Her words hit me like a knife in the heart and I swallowed, not even having a serious answer on that. I only realized now how often I must have hurt her, how many times I made her feel miserable and treated her like shit. I decided to hurt her while she's so nice to everyone and I was just too scared to start a normal conversation with her. 

'I don't think I need your apologies now, Asher.' She muttered weakly when I stayed silent, not knowing what to say. 

'But you need to listen! I'm sorry, okay? I never meant to hurt you this way and, and-' 

'Asher, shut up.' Her words made me look up shocked. I expected to look into a pair of angry and pissed off eyes, but they only stood exhausted and sad. Her hands moved back to mine, intertwining her fingers with mine before removing them from her hips to push them against my chest. 

'Apologize to me when I'm calmed down again, please. Then I can appreciate it better and the chance is bigger that I will forgive you.'  Her words were enough to throw me over the edge. 

She was kind, sweet, caring, anything a human could wish for, she even had patience with me and was willing to forgive me despite what I have done to her. I didn't even deserve that yet she gave it to me, just like my sister used to do. 

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Pov Bea Hopkins
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Seeing how Asher broke down right in front of my nose was something that overwhelmed me even more. His teary eyes spoke paragraphs and I didn't know how to deal with it. If there was anything in life that I never expected to happen, then it was this. 

The fact a male was standing in front of my nose this close was already a surprise, let alone he was trying to make me forgive him with the most guilty look on his face I have ever seen on someone's face in general. 

'Please forgive me now.' He muttered, rubbing some tears roughly off his glossy and red cheeks. As much as I wanted to, I wouldn't do it yet. Asher had to learn his lesson and this was the only way which would feel sucks for both of us. 

'No, I won't.' I tried to speak a bit more louder and confidently. He almost looked offended by my answer and grabbed me by the waist again, making me feel slightly smothery. If I wasn't dying from headache at the moment I could have appreciated that he did, but I just wanted to go home to clean up the wound and cry in my mother's arm til I would fall asleep. 

'You have to.' He murmured, words clearly stuck in the back of his throat. With a sigh I pushed his hands off me again and turned my back to him, walking to the exit of the building. 

'Bea, wait!' He shouted after me, making me look over my shoulder at him shortly. 

'I just, you know...' He rubbed the back of his neck in an uncomfortable way and shrugged, looking away defeated. After staring at him for a while, I decided to just leave. He could tell me another day what he wanted to say.

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