Dead By Night Time - [ENGLISH]

45. First Conversation.

Pov Bea Hopkins
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I felt anxious as I stood in front of the entrance of the prison. Conkling had convinced me to go, but now I was actually standing here as it was five before twelve o'clock, I just wanted to run away again. I didn't feel ready to see Asher yet, it was scary. 

Yesterday, I wasn't ready either to go to the police station, but I had forced myself to go with the thought in the back of my mind that if I didn't, Dustin would kill me within a week. And that's not what I wanted, not at all. I wanted to pick up my life again, and now that the one who was trying to keep me wrapped around his finger was arrested, I could achieve my goal. 

This meeting with Asher probably meant a lot less than I thought. Yes, I was scared, and I wanted to run, but Mum said that won't help now that Asher will be released. Mom knew about the times Asher tried to call me, and she had said that if he got out, he would come see me here at my own house anyway, whether I was ready or not, it wouldn't matter to him, and he wouldn't even know it. So with a brick in my stomach I forced myself at this place. 

I had seen the woman behind the front desk staring at me a few times, so I moved a little further away from the entrance so that she wouldn't think I was suspicious and so that I would feel a little more comfortable. I don't need to be watched every ten seconds. 

My eyes shifted to the screen of my phone again, and I watched the fifty-nine turn in two zero's, causing my heart to thump in my chest quickly. 

I hated being nervous, but since I got back in the world, it's been the only feeling I experienced except for when I was in my own bed, wrapped in blankets with my headphones over my ears to keep me from hearing any other noises that could stress me out. 

But besides all the bad feelings, I was feeling slightly excited, too. When I received a mail from Conkling telling me he fixed the job and expected me to be at the prison for Asher, I screamed. Even jumped. Oh, and I cried. It had been a flood of emotions, but I was just so happy. I got the boy in jail and now I got him out myself as well and I felt like a part of me would be released at this time. 

No, Asher wasn't a part of me, but Lord knows how much I've thought of him while sitting in the cold basement. Since I thought my parents weren't alive anymore, I was searching for someone else to find peace in, and the universe decided to put Asher Wilson in my mind. I mean, I could also have thought about Billie, which I certainly did, too, but not as much as the dark brown haired guy. She might give me her oh-so-disappointed face if she ever gets to know about that. 

A groan left my mouth as I remembered that she took all of my diaries with her and even lent Asher some so they could read them. It was so embarrassing that I laid for an hour straight on the floor on my stomach, face buried away in my arms. 

I wrote those diaries, and I knew what was in them. And knowing these two read all of that wanted me to crawl into a garbage container and disappear again. Fuck me if Asher read the part of me simping on him the day me and Billie saw him in the swimming pools. I felt my cheeks burning from embarrassment as I thought back at it, making me sigh in despair. 

My eyes shot up when I heard the sliding entrance doors open, breath catching in the back of my throat as I saw the one I had been waiting for to come. It was crazy how much a guy could change in jail, because if you had shown me a picture of Asher like what he looked like at school and a picture of what he looked like now, I would say this was his older brother. I forced my jaws to stay together instead of gasping while Asher's eyes found mine, his face changing to without emotion to a bewildered one.

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Pov Asher Wilson
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You know that tight feeling that appears in your chest when something happens that you didn't expect and that you just want to turn around and walk straight away? Well I was feeling like that as soon as my eyes caught Bea in them.