SULLY'S MUSICAL GRIAN ONESHOTS!! ✨

Black Betty

✨ Xisuma appreciation oneshot. let's be honest, bro clearly does NOT sleep

like have u seen his update schedule??

told through random young admins talking abt him, and x's normal life.

lol

~

" Have you heard?"

" .. heard what, jimothy."

One admin gets smacked in the face for that, presumably by ' Jimothy '

" It's Timothy, bitch. Also, that Tier 2, Xisuma is coming to town!"

Another admin gasps. There appears to be 7 of them, all sitting around a campfire in the woods. Surprisingly, no one brought alcohol. Someone did bring their demon summoning book, however, cause thats the new thing for cool kids.

" Xisuma?? Oh, he's amazing!"

Timothy nods, grinning as another another admin picks up a guitar.

" Blennifer what are you doing-"

" WOooaahhHHH XISUMA, (insert dramatic strumming), X runs Hermitcraft, (more strumming)"

" HermitCraft?? No way-"

" Damn thing gone wild!"

People started giggling, someone hitting the log in tune to the song.

" I once met him, he said, ' I'm worryin' out my mind',"

" ... the damn player set fire to a house-"

" WHAT- HOW THE HELL DOES HE HANDLE THEM??"

~

X hits the ground hard, chasing after Scar, Grian & Mumbo. The damned people had snatched his  coms, meaning now he was stuck pleading with the devils & running laps.

" GIVE IN & SLEEEEEEEEPPPP"

X's hand brushed Grian's bright feathers, as he was the current one with the coms. It was a small device, clutched tightly in his hands.

" Give it back! I have codes to fix, then the lag and the boatem hole's undying hunger... it's almost sentient and-"

" Xisuma Void, you're stressing yourself out just TALKING about duties! Let Grian handle it, he's handled lots of servers before."

X noticed he'd stopped, listing his responsibilities on his fingers. Oh, he had about 9 up. Mumbo was looking at him with a concerned smile, and even Grian had walked over.

" Yeah! I can fix the server, trust me, X."

Scar patted X's back, and he sighed before reluctantly nodding, Grian beaming and Scar dragging him to the guest room in his house. 

When X woke up, he was pleasantly surprised by Grian's work & much more rested.

~

" Woooahh, Xisuma, bam badam, woooahhh-"

" Once, I heard he'd single-handedly destroyed a Void Bear that was trying his firewall!"

" No!"

" YES, JIMOTHY! I TALKED TO SOMEONE RIGHT THERE!!"

"..... ITS TIMOTHY BITCH-"

" WOOAAHHHHHHHH XISUMAAA STOP ARGUINNGGGG WOOAAAAHHHHH"

~

The wind rushed through X's hair as he glided through the shopping district before suddenly crashing dramatically into the ground. It was Tango who had knocked him onto the floor, with the rest of ZIT running out.

" OH SHOOT X- SORRY"

Impulse reached the tangle two first, apologizing frantically. X smiled, standing up and dusring off his armor.

" Oh, don't worry, but what were you guys doing..?"

Everyone looked down before Zedaph reluctantly answers. 

" We made a slingshot... and Tango offered... we tested it with sheep!! "

" We were going to test it with sheep."

X started chuckling, and the conversation ended with everyone in the local Café, enjoying a fun lunch with even funner company.

~

" WOAHHHH XISUMAA,,, BAMBADAMMMM WOOOAAAHH XISUMAAA.."

" I SAW HIM WIELDING VOID MAGIC ONCE!,"

" ... AINT NO FUCKING WAY VANHOUTEN!!"

" I DID!"

The circle erupted in cheers.

" WOOAAHHHHHH XISUMAAAA,,,,, BAMBADAMMMM "

" WOOAAAHHH"

~

X lifted the person by their collar, the brown-haired merchant struggling against his tight grip.

" What did you call my family?"

His voice was harsh, like a sharp sword.

" .. i called them cursed! unholy! their associating with a voidwalker, of all creatures!!"

 Oh, oh no.

The black & blue of Void Magic weaved around X's hands, moving towards the merchant and wrapping around his neck. With ruthless precision, the strands move between each ligament of his spine, magic tightening against each bone.

His agonized screams fill the air as X slightly snaps his spine bones, not enough force to kill him. Maybe paralyzed forever? Doesn't matter, that dipshit had decided to kick his family out & threaten them for existing.

Now his new injury will threaten him for existing!

X left the newly made disabled man, exiting the shop dramatically to find.... Oh, the Hermits set fire to a car.

Well, time to deal with that!

~

" woah, xisuma... bam, badam.."

The music tuned down as the moon rose higher, and the college kids felt good knowing they'd shared their epics tales of the amazing admin. Blennifer put their guitar away, and Vega took out her summoning book.

" NOW, WHOS UP FOR SUMMONING THE RUSTIC HOUSE DEMON??"

"WOOOO!"

~

this is the most crackfic i have written

its short and

i dont even know man

i dont even know