SULLY'S MUSICAL GRIAN ONESHOTS!! ✨

Waving Through A Window

DashingFlower55

finally got around to your request from like three months ago

xD

( should be noted : i have literally no idea what the musical evan hansen is about and/or where to stream it. this is pure coincidence, baby )

~

Grian's wings were folded perfectly underneath his sweater, hidden from view. It wasn't one pair, no, it was three- his small parrot wings, his black, metallic Watcher wings, and his pure, fluffy Admin wings.

It's quite the shame he couldn't display any of them.

Pearl grabs his hand. Grian can see her own wings, hidden too, underneath a dark hoodie. The hood moves up and down as she drags her brother towards a Churro stand, always here in this particular spot on this particular street. Grian doesn't think it leaves.

People around them are munching on various types of food, all proud. Proud, no matter what. Blazeborns animatedly share stories with human & cod friends, moths - like Pearl, supposedly- buzz and hum.

For Grian, it's like he's looking through glass, watching everyone else live. Truly live. No, it's fine. Grian wasn't meant to display his wings, he wasn't meant to show everyone what had happened to him. They shouldn't know his scorned, folk-story like identities.

At least, Pearl says so.

" Step out of the sun if you keep getting burned; that's logic, right? You've only been injured for being unique, so why continue?"

And she was right. Even when it was just his parrot wings, Sam hated him for it. When he was an Admin? The world loved scorning him for his age. Most people run at the sight of Watchers, too. 

Grian could compare his experience to the likes of Rapunzel, always stuck in her stupid little tower, living to the fullest but not living at all. A child at the zoo, watching the animals with bubbly excitement, willing themself to be one.

" Look! Mom, I'm a tiger!"

" Shut up. "

Pearl's shoving a churro in his hands. He gratefully accepts it, grinning at her.

He doesn't really talk anymore. ( nobody can hear-)

They're sitting on a bench now, Pearl's talking to Jimmy. Jimmy has it good, he isn't an abomination or literal part of the moon. He's just a canary. ( Is that really good?)

These days, everything feels like it's in a haze- a misty dream, haunting him. Grian supposes a lot of things haunt him. He supposes that no, he can't really see unless he can Watch. He can't really bounce or bubble until he can flare his wings, he can't really chirp until he can fly.

Unfortunately, he can do none of these things. No matter how much Grian knows it'll fix him, help him, save him,

It's too dangerous.

Isn't it funny? Ironic, really? Once, Grian used to be the one yelling, ' it's dangerous!' ' it's dangerous!', and they'd never listen. Grian understands now, back when everyone had starry eyes, hazy and milky. When they'd see everyone else, and decide, ' If they can, I can too!'

And then they do something drastic. Maybe they stab a friend, maybe they alter the code or make the sun rise. Maybe they try to fight back, to tell them off.

Either way? They ended up imprisoned, burned, dead, gutted.

Grian doesn't want to be dead or in pain or trapped.

Step out of the sun if you keep getting burned.

They're walking again, through the crowds of the hub. Grian isn't paying attention, he's watching the sky. It's like looking through the fogged window of a midnight train, blurry & cold but also jealous. Because you, you want to be up there, flying with them.

But you can't, you never can, because you'll be shot or downed or ripped apart, piece by piece- again. So, you're left staring through the fog, tapping the glass to an unknown tune that maybe never existed at all.

 They've almost reached the center, a wonderful place. One could call it Grian's favorite, a place where he can see others- just like him - tapping on their windows, their real windows, the same as him.

Pearl's pulling him forward, fast and decisive. She always was, quick & stubborn & smart. She was bouncy, never forgotten or thrown away. She didn't need, need her wings or her spirit like Grian did.

...

Pearl was much better at hiding.

Grian was always found first.

That's the thing, with hiding. If you hide too well, you'll never see, you'll never be able to track down the clues. You can only focus on the big picture, the largest box, the smallest place you can sneak through. If you don't hide well enough, you see too much. Every minor detail, every imperfection, every single tick & flinch, you can see it.

So what happens when you can see, but they can't?

It's the same as asking, if a tree falls in a forest, but nobody's around, does it ever really, truly fall?

..

Grian doesn't think so. Maybe it's because he'd never met someone like him, someone bad at hiding too, but it sure as hell feels like he's that stupid fucking tree & everyone ignored its fall. Packed up and left, strung pretty lights on their new Christmas tree.

Grian doesn't want to be a stupid, hollow decoration. He wants to live, for once. He wants to spread his wings and float, cruise on the high of the rushing wind.

He hates this haze, this stupid fucking fog that's everywhere and nowhere and he's DONE. Pearl doesn't notice, of course she doesn't notice, she'd never notice.

She is still a hider.

Grian, Grian doesn't want to hide anymore.

Grian? Grian wants to be dangerous. He wants to fly. He was done watching, waiting, looking through the glass.

The answer's right infront of him, and it tells him to fly.

Grian's eyes widen as he takes a breath. They're in the middle of the Hub, exactly. He doesn't care. It's like stretching after sleep, a careful, slow movement, until finally it speed up and 

rip!

His wings are free.

They flare out, every different color but just three at the same time. People scatter as the haze evaporates, leaving Grian to launch himself into the sky with oh-so familiar movements.

He can hear them all, yelling and chattering because , ' the legend! the prime! xelqua's alive?? bros a watcher??'

The wind filters through his feathers, curving around them and streaming through at the same time. It's the best feeling, of finality, of hope, of happiness.

Of Grian's spirit finally returning to his once-empty shell.

oh!

~

weeee

i do not joke when i say this took 6 or 7 hours purely because I GET DISTRACTED SO EASILY

AT ONE POINT I SPENT 30 MINUTES TRYING TO FIND A RANDOM OLD BOOK???

ALOT OF IT WAS SPENT ON YOUTUBE??

god, how do i get shit done?