DBS#3: Mending the Scars

IKA-LIMAMPU'T DALAWA

Matapos ang mahabang pag-uusap namin kahapon, hindi na ulit iyon nasundan ng isa pa dahil bihira ko na siyang makausap ng matagal. He’s always tired and doesn’t want to talk. Kaya naman tiniis kong tahimik na lang siyang pagmasdan habang nagpapahinga. May mga oras na gising nga siya pero parang wala naman sa sarili at nakatulala lang sa kisame. Kahit magtangka man akong kausapin siya, hindi naman siya sumasagot.

It’s hard. But I love him, and I’m willing to endure everything just to be with him longer.

“May problema ba, Henry?” nag-aalalang tanong ni uncle nang maabutan niya akong nakaupo sa tanggapan ng office niya.

“I don’t know what to do, uncle…” tanging naging sagot ko.

He sat next to me and gently tapped my shoulder. “He doesn’t want to talk, does he?”

“Yeah, and it pains me to see him in that state. I don’t know what he’s thinking; I wish I knew so I could help him deal with it.”

“I’m not exactly sure if this will work in his case, but maybe he’s experiencing fear and anxiety, which will of course affect his general health. He can’t go outside, but in this situation, I’ll let you bring your friends into his room. Just don’t let them come near Kristoff to avoid germ contact and infection.”

I glanced at him, wondering if it was a good idea. “Do you think it’ll work?”

“Emotional support is important for most cancer patients during their illness. Trust me, he’ll feel a bit better after that.”

Palagi kong inilalagay ang sarili ko sa posisyon ni Top, lalo na sa mga ganitong pagkakataon. He’s isolated here in the hospital. And if I’m in his position, I’ll feel the same. So maybe he really needs emotional support, not just from me and his family but also from our friends. Kahit naman hindi siya madalas na sumasama sa buong D’Beasts, alam ko namang kahit paano ay sumasaya siya kapag kasama ang grupo. Maybe that’ll help. I hope it does.

“Thanks, uncle. I’ll call them to pay a visit.”

“Alright, and we’ll also pay a visit to his room from time to time for his shots and medicines. Don’t forget, we won’t allow visitors to experience any symptoms of contagious illnesses. I’ve already discussed it with you, right? Also, tell them to wear facemasks for safety.”

“I’ll tell them later,” I answered and gently lean back to his couch.

I feel extra tired today, even though I’m not doing anything in particular. Maybe because I’m thinking too much about all the things that’s about to happen. I know this is a really bad habit. That’s why I’m trying to find distraction, or at least lessen the things that are running through my mind, by finding a solution to each of my problems.

“Have you visited home already? You do not look okay,” puna niya habang pinagmamasdan ang ayos ko.

“I did, uncle. But Top needs me more than anyone else. I don’t want to leave his room. I… I’m afraid,” I whispered wholeheartedly.

“Hijo, we all know that AML is a rare and very aggressive type of cancer, right? Even after the initial treatment, sometimes it doesn’t go away completely, or it comes back, or what we call relapses after a period of remission.”

“W-What do you mean?”

“The survival rate of this type of cancer is very low, especially at his age and his general health. But this doesn’t mean that we won’t do anything for him to survive. All I want is your cooperation, Henry. Make him feel that he needs to fight and be strong. Be his emotional support for now while we’re treating his cancer. He badly needs that,” he explained thoroughly.