i wish i never met you | b.e.

location

billie's pov

two weeks later

we've been stuck in this fucking apartment for what feels like years. i'm so done.

lila is puking a lot, she barely eats which i know isn't good for her and the baby. i've tried cooking more appetizing foods for her and it seems to work a bit on certain days, but most days she'll usually eat an apple for breakfast and won't eat again until the next day.

"lila- you gotta eat. you have a human inside of you!"

"billie- i wish i was hungry but im just not!"

we'd passively argue like this a lot. i think we just need time apart but that's pretty hard to get here. i've thought of some names for the baby and so far, im gonna name him kurt if it's a boy, and emilia if it's a girl.

i'm hoping for a girl, because naming it after the girl who introduced us would be so euphoric.

i told these names to lila and she seems to be pretty happy with the idea, which makes me really happy too.

lila spends lot of time outside. sometimes she really misses her vapes and drugs and whatever, but its gotten better as time passed. i think the fact she has a child inside of her makes her realize that she can't be looking for stuff like that anymore.

i've been writing a lot of lyrics while im here. i really don't have much else to do.

"baby?" i hear lila yell from the balcony.

"yeah?"

"can you start my heated blanket on the couch?"

"i will."

i know that lila is only in the first trimester of this pregnancy, but that doesnt mean im just not gonna do things for her. if she wants a heated blanket on her bed, imma give her a fucking heated blanket on her bed.

she hasn't really been craving things much, which is good because i hate going out in this weather. thankfully, her baby is gonna either be a july or august baby, so it'll be warm here if we are still stuck here.

that's the worst case scenario. being stuck here until summer.

fin calls me daily with updates on the music. we didn't get the three songs submitted, but those guys never contacted us again soooo whatever i guess.

finneas and i are working a lot on beats and lyrics so the second i get home, i can record these songs and basically be done with the album.

but then a whole lot of editing comes with.

its whatever. i keep telling myself ill be home next week every. single. week.

it helps me get through the week but it always leaves me disappointed.

once im done turning on lila's blanket, she comes in and lays down before quickly falling asleep. shes been so tired recently.

i was watching this short youtube video about the "los angeles gangs" because i wanted to see if eddie was on it.

sure enough, i see a picture of him with a mask on and around seven other people, but then i got jump scared by cash and ivan by these fancy cars i know they never owned.

"now these gangs are opps, because cash, the leader of this gang, was once in eddies gang but left. this made eddies gang mad and they decided to kidnap him which later led to his arrest," the video says.