i wish i never met you | b.e.

moving

a/n this fucking story. i have no more plot so im just going with it until chapter forty.
sorry for the late update once again, i have no freaking motivation.

lila's pov

i started packing everything up fast. i love billie's family but im just so excited to live with just billie.

i started by taking everything out of all my drawers, closet, vanity, etc.

i decided to donate everything i don't wear anymore and stuff i won't wear once i have baby emilia. i got two tote buckets and separated them into donate and keep.

it was sad throwing out a lot of my cunty shit, but its ok because i think im happier as a mom.

it took me forever, but once i finished that i moved on to keeping or throwing away everything in my drawers.

a lot of it was thrown away, but once i opened the last drawer it was like i got whiplash.

there were so many vapes. so many. and carts too.

i start to breathe a little quicker because i just got reminded of everything.

i immediately close my eyes and pick as many as i can in handfuls and throw them into the trash. once there was one final one, i threw it on the ground and stomped on it. i fucking hate my old self and i never wanna go back.

thankfully, i cleaned everything out of my room, so now all i have to do is get my furniture out.

i tie up the black trash bags and bring them outside. i come back upstairs and walk past billie's room, which seems to still have everything in it.

"progress huh?" i laugh as i walk in.

"oh shut up, im keeping some things here because ill come back every now and then."

i look around her room and realize ive never really looked at it.

there's a lot of posters up on the wall, mostly in a green theme. she has led lights on her ceiling that are red, but a lamp is making it so it doesn't look so ominous.

i look back down at billie and i see her going through papers.

"what you looking at?" i say, trying to scoot over to her.

"woah," she holds her arm out, "nope, no."

"what?" i ask, confused.

"these are notes from my old self. like- sad ones. i never got rid of them-"

i tilt my head at her in a way showing that im still confused on why i cant see.

"its just- i dont want you to see me as a depressed little girl."

she looks down, waiting for a reply.

"billie, ive known you for almost a year now and you think ill leave you because you were sad?"

"no- its just like, awkward i guess. i mean i dont want you reading about the ways i tried dying," she fake laughs.

"you tried to die?" i ask, shocked.

i guess i knew from the media that billie has been depressed before, but i never realized how much of an impact her depression had on her.