Beyond Destiny ~ A Saga Of Timeless Love

38 ~ Insecurities

"I need you like a heart needs a beat."

Ruhanika

He kissed me abruptly and aggressively. His lips were moving immorally as if he was claiming me for himself. He bit and sucked on my lips, as if he needed them for survival. His moving lips conveyed his passion, longing, and desire.

He slammed me into the nearest wall while kissing me passionately. I moaned as he kissed me, pressing his body against me. I began to softly move my lips over his, causing him to growl. I hissed and slightly parted my lips as he nibbled on my lips. He seized the opportunity to stick his tongue in my mouth. He sucked on my tongue, tasting me as our teeth clattered against each other. His hands freely roamed over my back, and I gasped when he pulled the blouse's string.

The feel of his rough hands on my bare back gave me a needy shiver. I took my hand to his nape and gently massaged it to calm him. I stroked his bicep while massaging his nape. His rage gradually dissipated as he kissed less aggressively with each stroke. He broke off the kiss after a few minutes and pressed his forehead against mine. I breathed heavily and closed my eyes.

I gasped and opened my eyes as he picked me up in his arms and began walking to the bedroom. My blouse was hanging on my shoulders without any support, so I clutched it in the middle to avoid any mishaps. I knew he had seen me before, but it was dark at the time. It feels completely different in daylight.

He laid me on the bed and hovered over me in a blink, causing my breath to hitch. I swallowed as I saw his expressionless face, but I could also see his frailty. Despite his claims to the contrary, I can tell he is hurting because he is a human being. He, too, feels hurt.

I put my hand on his right cheek and stroked the little stubble there, which was making him appear more manly. I moved slightly and gave him a forehead kiss, causing him to sigh. I stepped back to observe his faltering resolve, filled with sadness. Instead of looking into my eyes, he hides his face in my neck.

I sighed softly as he crushed me with his massive weight. I encircled him with my arms, holding him near to me. He groaned as I stroked his back and massaged his head. I kept massaging his head, letting him absorb the fact that I was with him.

"Dev, Are you alright?" I inquired after some time. He remained silent for a few seconds before hmming. I sighed at his conduct. When will he realize that he is also susceptible to hurt?

"Dev, do not lie. I am aware of your hurt, and I acknowledge that this is quite natural. You should not hold yourself responsible for your need for your father's love because, like all children, I know you yearn for it too. Experiencing emotions and being vulnerable does not equate to weakness. That is just the way we humans are wired, and it is one of the best things that can happen," I remarked. Instead of saying anything, he curled up against me.

I hummed as he called me "Rooh" in his rough voice.

"Am I not worthy of love?" He asked, prompting me to close my eyes.

"Move away," I replied coldly after opening my eyes. He backed away after hearing my voice and looked at me in confusion. I gripped his hair in my fist and drew him closer, still lying on the bed.

"Can you repeat what you just said?" I stated firmly.

"I....I...said," He stuttered a little in confusion.

"Yes, you said Dev Pratap Singh. After all these months you still think that you are unlovable then what's the point of all this? What is the point of this bloody marriage if you still believe you are unlovable? It simply indicates that, despite all these months of trying, I failed. I did not give you the affection, attention, and consolation you required from me. Was there ever a time when I gave you the impression that you were not worthy of my love? The level of affection, concern, and faith I have for you, Dev, is beyond words. I can not stop thinking about you from morning to night; you are on my mind and in my heart every hour, minute, and second. Nobody can love you like I do, I can say that with pride. You are the beginning and the end of my day. And yet you feel unworthy of love?" I cried out, softening his eyes.