The Lost Memories

14. the fallout

I'm in Studio A this afternoon, as I got a text telling me that Richelle and I have a rehearsal for our duet. I'm usually thrilled when I hear that I have a duet with Richelle, but right now this is the last thing that I want to do.

Richelle and I aren't the closest of friends anymore. Ever since Michelle drove us apart, I haven't been able to reconnect with her. It's such a shame, as we used to do almost everything together, and I really valued our friendship.

I glance at the clock, realising that she's fifteen minutes late already. Could she make it any more obvious that she doesn't want to be here? But, unlike her, I value the team more than our fallout.

All of a sudden, I'm surprised when I hear the sound of footsteps entering the room. I really didn't think that she was going to show up today.

"Wow, look who finally decided to show up!" I try to show her that I'm not impressed with her tardiness.

"Don't get too excited; I wasn't going to." She tells me, not surprising me at all, "But the thought of Michelle replacing me in the duet drove my ass here."

Richelle looks around. "Where even is Michelle? I'd of thought she would've been here by now."

"She's running late."

"Oh, so it's fine for her to be late but not me?" Her attitude is infuriating.

"She has a lot going on."

"And I don't?" She scoffs, dramatically placing her bag down onto the bench. "You need to stop defending her; it's disgusting. Even after everything she's done, you act like she's got a heart of gold; I don't understand it."

"Maybe I just don't care as much as you do." I tell her whilst trying my best not to start an argument with her.

I don't want Michelle to walk in on a heated moment between Richelle and I. It would look like I'm not committed to this dance, and she might decide to take me off of it. Michelle doesn't reward her dancers for fighting; she does the exact opposite.

"No, maybe you just need to open your eyes and see that she isn't a good person!" Richelle shouts.

I sigh, "Can we just start rehearsing? Michelle's going to be here in a few minutes, and I don't want her to walk in on this mess. I know you don't want to be here, but I beg you to just pretend that you do, even if it's just for a few hours. After that, you can spit as much hate as you want at me about her."

"Fine." She finally gives in.

The room is now filled with silence. I watch as Richelle begins to stretch at the opposite end of the room, but I can tell that there's something on her mind. One thing that I always have to remind myself is that with Richelle, it's never truly over, and she's never actually fine with it.

And then I hear her say this as she gets up off of the floor. "So... I heard that you're being considered for the solo this year."

I roll my eyes.

She steps closer to me, a look of anger on her face. "You do know that that solo is mine, right? All of the hard work that I've put in, and you actually think that I'll just let you take it away from me?"

"Richelle, can we please not talk about this right now?" I ask her, desperate to start rehearsing instead.

"No, we can talk about it now!"

"Richelle, I thought you'd be happy for me. You used to care about me." I remind her of the friendship that we used to have.

She steps closer towards me, a serious look on her face. "The only person that I'll ever care about is myself..."

She continues, her voice raised. "You know, the thing I can't figure out is what you've actually done to deserve this opportunity. Michelle doesn't usually consider people for solos unless they've done something special that makes them stand out. What, have you licked her pussy or something? I mean, she does have a track record of sleeping with her dancers, and you love to–."

"Fuck you!"

Richelle isn't homophobic; I'm sure of it, but it's common for her to make comments about my sexuality. She likes to make it into a joke, but it's far from that.

"Sorry, is the truth embarrassing you?" She says.

"You know what, Richelle, I'm being considered for the solo because Michelle knows that you don't have what it takes!" I decide to give her a taste of her own medicine. "You don't show emotion when you dance and you're stiff! Truthfully, you're boring to watch! How on earth are you supposed to win us that round, huh?"

Her face turns a bright red colour as I say this to her. The one way to get Richelle riled up is to talk badly about how she dances, and it's actually quite amusing. I love how her hand balls into a fist and how her nose scrunches as she tries to hold herself back from that fist colliding with my cheek.

Richelle would never hit me though; she's never been one to show violence.

"You know what? I'm done with this!" She announces whilst turning away from me in a state of rage. "You can have this duet all to yourself! Even better, just have it be your solo!"

As Richelle walks away, I begin to panic, as I need this duet to be perfect. And without Richelle, there might not even be a duet! I'm sure Michelle won't be thrilled when she sees that I let Richelle leave.

I still remember how Michelle told me that I have to take control over Richelle. I can't let her treat me like this anymore. I mean, one minute she's throwing herself at me, and then the next she's acting like she's never cared at all.

"What are you doing?!" I shout as she grabs her dance bag.

"Don't talk to me!"

"Richelle, wait!" I try to stop her, but it doesn't work. "Where are you going?!"

"Richelle!"

"Fuck." I mutter quietly.

I don't think she's ever going to forgive me for not feeling the same way as she does. I think it left a permanent scar on her heart when I pushed her away that day, when her lips brushed against mine. I know that it took so much courage to express how she felt, but I couldn't lie to her– I just didn't feel the same way.