The Zone {bellarke fanfiction}

talking body

Chapter Fifteen:
TALKING BODY

CLARKE'S POV:

I laid awake, unable to process the events of everything that has happened in the past week. I've been lost, and I feel utterly disgusted with my drunken self.

Bellamy has a right to be angry, I slept with someone else. One of his friends, too. But we weren't together and technically if we're broken up, it's completely my decision.
It was a bad decision, but mine, nonetheless.

Starting the new year off like this is nothing I expected a couple months ago. I've heard around that Bellamy leaves in less than a week. But that's not nearly enough time to make up for everything I've done. I have a lot of damage control to do. And I have no way to make up for anything.

I pack up Bellamy's things, planning on taking them over in the middle of the night. If I don't have to speak to him, to not humiliate myself, that'd be best.

I set down some of his sweatshirts, a pair of his sneakers, and one of his baseball caps. I lifted up the box, groaning by how surprisingly heavy it was. I opened my door of my room, walking out to the front door. I walked across the yard, walking up to Bellamy's front porch. I set the box down, practically dropping it on the bench outside.

The door opens, and Bellamy steps outside. He raised a finger to his lips, and motioned to step inside. I nodded silently, and walked up to his room, with him following. He shuts his bedroom door behind him, and I carefully sit on the corner of his bed, my hands in my lap.

I whispered," How did you know I was coming?"

He shrugs," I was awake, I saw you walking across the lawn."

Things got silent, until he spoke again, cautious and nervous. He breathes," I'm still inlove with you, Clarke."

" Bellamy-" I pleaded.

"-But, being inlove with you fucking sucks." He says with no caution.

I looked at the ground, and closed my eyes. This was harder than I thought it would be.

He continued," Falling inlove with you was dreadful. I hated the thought of someone having so much control over the way I felt. I almost lost you so many times before, but this time I'm really loosing you. I'm loosing you, Clarke. And that stunt you pulled over New Years, makes me feel like we've already lost each other."

I stood up, and stepped around him. I was ready to leave, this was no use.
" I was hurt and confused so I got drunk, and made a few bad choices; but I have to live with it, you don't."

I touch the door, now growing upset with him. He pushed the door back, and turned me around. He breathes," Falling in love with you sucked, but being in love with you is the best feeling in the world, and I'd be foolish not to admit that to myself." I stared up into his eyes and touch my hand to his cheek.

He slowly leans forwards, pressing his lips to mine. I can feel us both holding back, we're tired and just reminiscing like old times. We're not still inlove, and we're definitely not about to take this way too far because our emotions are so far built up and our anger towards each other's faults are going crazy.

My fingers play with the hem of his shirt, and he pulls away for second, pulling it over his head and meeting my lips again. I wrapped my arms around him, letting Bellamy push me onto the bed. We fall down, continuing to kiss intensely.

His lips make their way to my neck, and I lay my head back. I moan in pleasure," Bellamy, please."

He slowly stops, looking at me," Clarke, we can't do this-"

"-Yes we can, it's okay." I touch his cheeks, running my thumb across his chin.

He stares at me with curious eyes," Nope, I can control myself. We can't." He tries to start to move away, to lay next to me.

I groaned, pressing his lips to mine, mumbling," What about this feeling of being in love? Don't let it go, remember me when you go, remember this, remember us." I plead before he starts fumbling with my shirt.

He moans," Fuck, okay, if you're ready-"

"-I love you, and I'm angry with you at the same time, that's all I know." I say, convincing him.

He laughs, dropping his head onto my forehead," God, I'm so angry with you too." And his lips met mine again, in a sweet laughter.

***

I don't know if you can tell, I really like complicated bellarke but it should all go up from here!!!

Anyone watch Lost before? It's on Netflix and I was thinking of starting to watch it (No spoilers please!!) But is it as good as EVERYONE says it is? Haha