My hands were shaking when I started my vow that I prepared.
"All I really wanted was a child..." simula ko.
Kiyu's eyes are starting to swell kasi kanina pa siya umiiyak. Ngayon ay pati ilong niya ay pulang-pula na rin. And I know iiyak ulit siya dahil sa mga sasabihin ko.
"That's what I said to you when I first met you, Kiyu Valdroa."
Tumango siya.
I am holding the handkerchief at kung iiyak man ulit siya I will dry up his tears.
"That was really my plan sa simula pa lang...but life always surprised us..."
Nakita kong nangislap na naman ang mga mata niya.
Bumuntong-hininga ako.
I don't have the intention para paiyakin pa siya lalo but I need him to hear my words because he deserves to know what's inside of me.
"Unexpectedly, love knocked at my door. Eventhough I locked it thoroughly but still nakapasok ka pa rin. Naisip ko nga minsan kung magnanakaw ka ba kasi ang galing mo manloob ng isang bahay?"
The people laughed at what I have said.
Kiyu laughed, too, kahit na naiiyak na siya.
"You did not even destroyed the door para makapasok. Nakapasok ka because you have the key. You know where to find that key para makapasok. Then I realised you are actually the key kasi kahit anong gawin ko at kahit ilang beses ko pang i-lock ang pinto, makakapasok at makakapasok ka pa rin."
Doon na tumulo ang mga luha niya. Kaagad ko din iyong pinahid.
Nagpatuloy ako. "I pushed you away for a lot of times and it hurt you so bad. It breaks you every damn time. And I am so sorry for that. I am really sorry."
Umiiling siyang umiiyak.
"All you ever did was to love me but I did not take it, I did not accept it and I didn't even want it. I didn't allow you in my life kahit na mahal na kita."
Hindi ko napigilan at napaluha na rin ako pero hindi ako tumitigil.
"Please forgive me. I was so scared, really, really scared...I thought loving you freely will be the last thing I would do...And I thought risking my heart for you will terrify me the most... but I was wrong. Watching you walked away from me is the scariest moment in my life, Kiyu. You, letting go of me is the most heartbreaking. Without you feels like torture and because of your absence I realised that I really really love you. That I can't live without you. At nasabi ko sa sarili ko na kung hindi ka man bumalik ay hindi na ako magmamahal ulit."
We are both crying now. Siya naman ngayon ang nagpunas ng mga luha ko. Lumipas ang ilang sandali bago ako nagpatuloy.
"Thank you because you came back. Kahit na sinaktan kita ng paulit-ulit pero bumalik ka pa rin. Sometimes maiisip ko na I have no right to deserved you..."
Mabilis siyang umiling.
"And I deserved to be hurt because I hurt you first. Kulang pa nga iyong sakit na naramdaman ko dahil sa ginawa kong pagtaboy sa 'yo."
Umiling siya ulit.
"But I am so selfish and bad kasi I wanted you in life again. I want you to be my husband and a father to my son. I want you forever, Kiyu. I want us to be together for a long time. You are the first and the only man that I love and you will definitely be my last. You loved me for who I am. You taught me to love myself. You helped me accept my insecurities, my flaws and even my scars."
Ngumiti siya.
"You loved the things that I hate about myself. You don't know but you gave me the confidence na wala ako. And I thank you for that. You did not only have the key to my door but you also brought the right and best lock so that I couldn't get away from you anymore. We are both inside the door now and there's no chance to get out because Locke locked us, our son is our lock."
