Knowing I'm blocked in I still got in my car and started it up. I rolled my window down demanding him to move his car. He kept trying to explain but when I'm in a fight or flight emotionally I pick flight every time. For his own safety I need to get out of here now.
Fatima: Move your car bro. Don't say shit to me, just move your and let me go.
Zachary: Baby, listen to me.
Fatima: Move your car, I'm trying not to lose my shit right now. I'm telling you move your car.
Zachary: Fatima, you came to talk right, let me explain. It's not what it look like babe, I swear.
I got out the car almost hitting him with the car door. I went back in the house and grabbed his keys to move his car. Of course he blocked the door stopping me from going out.
Zachary: Babyyy, I am not fucking her. Will you please listen to me.
I didn't respond, I just stood there getting more upset because now he is holding me against my will. He called me cold. I'm about to show his ass cold if he don't move this fucking car. I dangled his keys in his face, shaking them every time he spoke.
Fatima: Fuck you dude, look you go move your car or not? I don't give a fuck about nothing you saying.
He took the keys and we both headed out the door, I got back in my car and he was back at window pleading his sad ass case.
I had enough, usually id be throwing fist by now. I jumped out the car and took his keys out his hand. I got in his car and drove off. I went straight downtown to the 4 seasons to get a room. I knew he was going to my house.
He was blowing my phone up until the battery died. I laid across the bed to decompress. I was still to angry to cry at the moment. It dawned on me that I left with no clothes, charger or even a toothbrush. I debated a quick Target run but I knew if I left out that room somehow I'd end up back at Zachary's. Before I could decide what to do next I fell asleep.
I woke up Friday morning at 9am surprisingly very well rested. I ordered breakfast and a toothbrush from room service, I also had them charge me for two more nights. After I ate I headed home to change clothes then go get my car. I'm so glad I already wasn't planning on working today, I clearly need a few self care days.
I made it home, plugged my phone up and got in the shower. Litterally less than 5 minutes later this man is pulling my shower curtain back.
Zachary: You calm down yet?
Fatima: Really Zachary.
Zachary: You ready to talk now?
Fatima: Damn can I finish my shower first....ALONE?
Zachary: Yeah my bad, take ya time I'll be downstairs.
I know this sounds crazy af but why do I want him to fuck the shit out of me right now. He is a shitty boyfriend, he's a cheater, a stalker, a liar and still I love this nigga. This is exactly why I need to be single for a minute. I'm going to hear him out then send him on his way.
Great now here comes the tears, I was doing just fine until now. After I finished my shower I sat on the edge of my bed taking a few deep breaths.
Suddenly I started to feel anxious and overwhelmed. Taking deep breaths wasn't helping. I was in a full blown anxiety attack. My phone was powered off charging, Zachary couldn't hear me calling for him. I threw my lotion bottle against the wall as hard I could.
Seconds later he came running in, he could tell I was in distress. He was frantic and calm at the same time. He frantically put a shirt and pj shorts on me then carried me out to the car.
I can hear him saying "just breathe" which is what my brain was also saying but it wasn't working. My heart is beating out of my chest, every breath feels like my last. I feel myself passing out. I don't how much time has lapsed but I'm on a gurney being wheeled away with questions being asked about my name date of birth, Zachary giving the information as quickly as possible.
They asked if I was allergic to medications, he looked at me I shook my no. They asked if I was in any pain, again I shook my head no. He was already looking at me when they asked if I was pregnant. He went to say no but noticed I was shaking my head yes.
