Best Life

Chapter 47

Adam

She's really here.

My concentration has gone to shit, as I keep zoning out from what I'm supposed to be doing, and instead I'm staring at her. She feels me looking at her every single time and she just turns to me and fucking smiles. I mean, I know that I trust her, but do I really trust this? Trust that she's serious about forgiving me for my stupidity? Trust that we are back on solid ground and everything will be okay? I guess time, open honesty and better communication, especially from me, will be crucial for us to really move forward.

The three of us are in the kitchen, a fairly efficient production line is in full swing and the pizzas are looking great. Sam is heaping generous amounts of cheese on our creations, but keeps getting the giggles.

"Katie has a new name for you," Sam tells me with a cheeky smile.

"Called you it almost every day," she sing songs and grins at me.

"Wait... you two talked... every day?" My question isn't really directed at either of them but at the same time it's a question for them both.

I look at Katie and she smiles at me a little coyly and somewhat shyly, a subtle blush on her cheeks. I cock my head to the side, my question lingering as I pin her with my gaze.

"Were you... checking up on me?" I ask her with a gentleness in my tone.

Her eyes flick over me with a slight amount of uncertainty.

"... I was... worried. And angry. But still worried. About you," she explains softly.

Her confession makes me smile subtly to myself. That all the while when I was feeling at my worst, she was still my invisible guardian angel. I know it would have been so much better to have known that over the past two weeks, but I'm just grateful that she's here now and that she cared enough about me to check in with Sam. Kind of makes sense now, with how scrutinised I felt every time Sam would silently watch me. Checking on me.
Reporting back her findings.
Making her daily report.

"And my new name...?" I ask with a curious smile.

"Shithead!" Sam squeals out at the top of her voice, then covers her mouth with her hands trying and failing spectacularly to quell her laughter.

It's infectious.

But as any decent brother would, I roll my eyes in annoyance, hiding my smile, although not well.

We all enjoy a beautiful night together, sitting by the fire pit, eating our homemade pizza. The conversation is light and easy, although I know there are tougher times ahead for Katie and I to navigate through.

Sam heads off to bed with a smacking kiss to both our cheeks as we finish off the dishes and call it a night ourselves. Katie looks about hesitantly, before I boldly grab her hand and tug her towards my bedroom. She uses the bathroom first and comes out wearing a little singlet top and pyjama shorts, the colourful ink on her skin looking dangerously beautiful as usual. In my boxers, I slide into the bed a short while later, the nerves on her face speaking a thousand words. I wait patiently for her to tell me what's on her mind, not wanting to push her into something she's not comfortable with.

Her hand reaches up and strokes my growing beard, the look on me obviously something else for her to get used to. Her eyes finally reach mine in the shadows of the darkened room and she takes a moment to relax herself.

"I just... want to... hold you," she says quietly in the nighttime silence. I smile at her and gently place a kiss on her forehead, opening my arms for her. She surprises me by pushing me away from her, my back to her front, as she takes up the position of the big spoon. Kind of hilarious given our size difference but the sensation is so comforting that it both shocks me and makes me melt into her arms. It's the best physical reassurance that I didn't realise I needed until this moment. Her small hands on my skin feels warm and the thud of our hearts slow as we both drift off to sleep.

In the early morning light, our positions have changed and her face is stuffed into my chest, my arms completely encasing her body, her hair tickling under my chin. I slept incredibly well and feel well rested and for the first time in weeks, my mind is clear and focused.

Katie stirs in my arms and blinks away the sleep. She stretches as much as she can, given that she is still tightly wrapped in my arms and I have no intention of letting her get very far away from me. Not when she feels this good. When her gentle touch chases away my uncertainties so seamlessly. When her gorgeous smile fills me with relief and reassurance.

"Good morning," she says in her sleepy morning voice.

"It is," I reply with my own morning gravel.

"Are you okay?" She asks with a touch of concern.

"Mmhmm," I smile at her and tuck some stray hair behind her ear, my hand drifting down her jaw and neck.

"Katie... I... need to tell you something. My truth...," I whisper the words and stare down into her eyes.

She gives me a little nod, her hands stilling their gentle touch against my chest.

"... I... I am so... fucking in love with you, Katie. I want you to know that. I know you can feel it... the love I have... for you. I want you to know it's ... real. And I won't... ever... ever jeopardise it like I did. I'm going to... nurture it, and strengthen it... so much... so it's unbreakable... so it's forever," my confession weighs heavily in the air.

She blinks at me a few times, the disbelief on her face fading into a beautiful accepting smile. And that's all I need from her. That she knows how I feel about her and that she believes in me.

The next few weeks are spent at the beach house. We talk...a lot. We're honest and open and vulnerable to each other. We sleep in each other's arms every night. We rebuild the relationship with newfound trust and respect. We navigate our feelings and emotions. We move forward in our own time and in our own way. I never back away from my plan to tell her that I love her whenever I feel the urge to.

Which is often.
Very often.
She doesn't back away from it.
But she doesn't say it back.
Her actions show me the words she doesn't speak.
Until the time is right and she can feel that little bit of bravery that I know is inside her.
I can wait.
Her big hearted, shithead, gentlemen forever.
Living our best life.
Together.