Romancing Miss Featherington

Cap. 19 - I am Lady Whisteldown

Colin left the Bridgerton residence and crossed the street to the Featherington residence. He was now concerned since Eloise had raised so many questions about Penelope. Did something happend to her? What does she need to tell him? She did appear serious during the festivities. Does she wish to end the relationship?

Penelope's maid was waiting at the door, forcing him to enter in silence. He hoped Rae would lead him straight to Penelope's room because he didn't know where it was. It is indeed what she did. He was standing in front of her bedroom and the maid opened the door and with a head sign indicated that he should go insisde, and so he did.

Penelope stood facing the door in the center of the bedroom. She was wearing her nightgown, a fluffy white gown that accentuated her stunning curves. For a little while, Colin lost himself in her eyes and the perfection of her face, forgetting everything, wanting only to kiss and touch every inch of her body. He locked the door behind him. Penelope remained motionless, gazing at him with the same solemn expression that she had been wearing since this afternoon. Ignoring that, Colin stepped forward, gently grabbed her face, and pulled her into a tender kiss.

She immediately returned the kiss, needing him so badly that she needed to hang to his lips for as long as possible since, after tonight, he might decide not to kiss her again. His hand moved progressively down to her neck, then to her waist, where it caught, bringing her closer to him and pressing her body against his.  When she slightly parted her lips, he used the opportunity to plant his tongue there and intensify the kiss. He had never kissed her with such a strong want and urge before. She gave him a quick response, placing both of her hands on his back and rubbing his back.

Penelope: '' Oh, Colin...'' -murmured between kisses-

Colin: '' Pen, you drive me crazy..'' -moaned and went to kiss her neck-

Penelope: '' Colin...we need to talk.''

Colin: '' Later...'' -he whispered in between kisses- '"I need you completely, I need this now."

When his hand reached her lower back and reached her leg, Penelope closed her eyes. He then used his finger to catch her dress and tug it upward till he could slip his hand under and touch her skin. She moaned and gripped his sholders at that contact. He relaxed his grip and gave her a direct gaze.

Colin: "I will stop if you wish, but I want nothing more than to finish what we started the other night."

Penelope: ''Colin, all I want is to be touched by you. I really want to be with you, but first we need talk." -whispered-

She felt empty when Colin took a short step back and removed his hands from her body. He appeared to be in trouble when Penelope glanced at him.

Colin: ''Penelope, what is it? You worry me.''

Penelope: '' I..I do not wish to worry you, but, before you decide to marry me, you need to know who I really am.''

Colin: "I know you well enough, Pen, and I have already made the decision to marry you."

Penelope: '' You know me, Penelope, your friend, the sweet girl next door.'' -she moved in the room and took a bunch of papers from her desk. '' You don't know me as being her," she said, handing him the documents.

Colin picked up the papers and began to read the first lines. She had tears in her eyes already as he gave her a confused expression. She realized she had lost Colin at that precise moment.

Colin: '' What am I looking at, Penelope?''

Penelope: '' My writing.'' -she muttered-

Colin: '' Your writing? Penelope, this is your writing?''

Penelope: '' Yes, it is. I am Lady Whisteldown and I am the one behind all the society gossip.''

Colin lowered his gaze to study the papers, beginning to study each one. He recalled that it was her writing from their correspondence exchanged in the past. 

Penelope: '' Colin, I...''

Colin: '' Don't,'' -cut her off- ''Don't speak another thing. ''-glared at her ''What did you do, Penelope? There are no words to express the disgust I feel at this very moment about this.''

Penelope: '' I know you are and I am sorry for not telling you sooner. ''

Colin: "What the hell were you thinking? You should be sorry for doing this in the first place," -he continued, sounding iritated- ''Are you aware of the danger that this represents?''

Penelope: "Nobody else knows, aside from you and Eloise, and I will stop writing," declared Penelope

Colin: "Really? You will stop? Why? Bcause you've already managed to trick an idiot like me into marrying you by pretending to be the most incredible person?''

Penelope: "I would never do that." -she murmured, wiping away her tears- "I did not trick you, Colin. I never asked you to pull me into a darkened room and kiss me, and I certainly never asked you to propose.''

Colin: '' My sister knew? That is why you were fighting?''

Penelope: "Yes, she was offended by what I wrote in the previous season about her, but she understands now.''

Colin: '' She understands now? Penelope, your remarks have wrecked everything for everyone. You destroyed my sister, you destroyed me, you destroyed Marina.''

She was infuriated to hear Colin say that name. Marina was her cousine and Colin asked her to marry him two season ago, but only after she had deceived him. She was pregnant with another men and even if Penelope tried to warn Colin, he never gave her credit. 
He was blinded by Marina and until to this day Penelope thinks he truely loved her.

Penelope burst against him, full of fury.

Penelope: '' I never ruined anyone! I never wrote one lie in that paper. Are you going to tell me that the comments you made against me last season were not spoken by you?''

Colin: '' I already...''

Penelope: '' No, now is my time to talk. '' -cut him off agressivly- ''I did not ruin you, nor did it seem to me that you were after you made those remarks about me. More than it ruined you, that ruined me. Eloise, was not ruined, she is a Bridgerton, everything is forgiven to a lovely Bridgerton and anyway I made that paper to protect her and she knows that now. And Marina, well, it was about time to talk about your darling Marina.'' -remarked, her voice full of jealousy and rage- '' Marina was expecting a child, and she wanted to marry baby Brigerton boy, who fell in love with her at first sight. She tricked you, not me.Despite my attempts to warn you, Mr. Bridgerton never listened to his little friend Pen.''

She was breathing hard and had tears streaming down her cheeks, but she was brave and, for the first time, she was standing for hereself. Colin gave her a confused, angrier, and somewhat admiring look. He thought about Marina, he thought about Penelope thinking he was in love with Marina, when all it was was only infatuation.

Penelope: ''Mr. Bridgerton, you fooled yourself. You had feelings for a girl who had never shown you love, and in retrospect, I wonder how that marriage would have turned out. I have no regrets about what I did, and I never will.''

Colin: '' Penelope, if this comes out it will ruin you, the society will hate you, you will be looked down on and people will make hateful comments about you. You will be hurt.''

Penelope: '' People already make hateful comments about me, Colin. I do not pretend to tell anyone about this. I love writing and Whisteldown was my only safe place when none was there for me, but I would have given her up...for you.''

Colin: '' For me? ''

Penelope: "Yes, for you, Colin. I have loved you since the day I first laid eyes on you when you felt off your hourse and all these years standing beside you, watching you dance with so many women, watching you flirt with all those women, watching you fall in love with Marina and knowing all of that will never be for me, were the worst.''