Romancing Miss Featherington

Cap. 20 - Embrace her flaws

Colin: '' Penelope, if this comes out it will ruin you, the society will hate you, you will be looked down on and people will make hateful comments about you. You will be hurt.''

Penelope: '' People already make hateful comments about me, Colin. I do not pretend to tell anyone about this. I love writing and Whisteldown was my only safe place when no one was there for me, but I would have given her up...for you.''

Colin: '' For me? ''

Penelope: "Yes, for you, Colin. I have loved you since the day I first laid eyes on you when you felt off your hourse and all these years standing beside you, watching you dance with so many women, watching you flirt with all those women, watching you fall in love with Marina and knowing all of that will never be for me, were the worst.''

Colin: '' Penelope, this is not about my sister, or Marina or anyone else. The Queen will harm you if she discovers that you were the one responsible for all of the remarks made about her. She is not someone who can be forgiven.''

Penelope: ''Are you not hearing me? She won't discover it since I never want to reveal who I am.''

Colin: '' This things, sooner or later will come out. You must immediately cease writing.''

Penelope: '' This is not something for you to decide.''

Colin: '' Of course it is. '' -went closere, grabbing her by the shoulders- '' You will be my wife and I will not allow you to keep doing this gossip paper.''

Penelope managed to get away from his grasp and turned around, unable to look at him. Although his rage was gone, she could still see that he was disappointed in her and that he was possessive of her. of her work, which he wasn't allowed to do. However, the fact that he brought up Marina triggered back memories of how much it hurt for her to see him with her cousine. She admitted that she had always loved him, and although he said nothing, he nevertheless declared his intention to wed her. Why ? Why would he marry her after this? Out of duty?

Penelope: '' You have no right to ban me anything. '' -said while sobbing- '' I will not marry you, Colin!''

Colin: "What?" he questioned, raising his voice as he drew nearer to her, gripping her arm and making her turn to face him. "What do you mean you won't marry me?" he asked.

Penelope: " I won't be able to stay next to you and know that you are not seeing me anymore, to know that the only thing you will see in me is the person that ruined Marina's life. '' - said, wiping the tears from her cheeks - "Colin, I can see how embarrassed you are, how disappointed you are of me, and I won't bear to see that look in your eyes for the rest of my life."

Colin: '' This is not about Marina! '' -murmured, becoming more composed-

Penelope: '' You loved her, maybe you still do.'' -lowered her eyes-

Colin: ''For heaven's sake, Penelope, I never loved Marina; I do not love her. It was merely a naive infatuation. Yes, I do feel bad for her and everything that she has stood for, but I am not in love with her.''

Penelope: '' And you are not in love with me either and I do not want to marry you because you feel like you cannot back down anymore because of what happened between us. We still have time to put an end to this. No one will ever find out.''

Colin: ''I will never marry for duty, neither to you or anybody else. Penelope, I definitely feel something for you, but I need time to work through my emotions and to comprehend everything. You must realize how upset, betrayed, and disappointed I am.''

Penelope: '' I understand. '' -she admitted and went closere to him, took the papere out of his hand and went to keep them in a drawer- '' You should go now. ''

Colin: '' Penelope, we still have to talk about Whisteldown.''

Penelope: "Perhaps, but not right now. You won't want to hear my explanation since you're angry. You should to return home and spend time with your family.''

Colin: '' What about us?'' -asked doubtfully-

Penelope: ''I have no response for that. You can see and feel that I love you, but I will never ask you to marry me only on a few passionate kisses exchanged. Please leave now!''

Colin decided to go since he felt lost and didn't know how to react to that. He also wanted some time to reflect. As she was standing neer her desk, he glanced at her and took a few steps in her direction. He felt guilty for not being able to reciprocate to her love at that moment due to his fury, yet he was still overcome with passion and wanted to kiss her urgently.

The same eyes that he had used to look at her at the Hastings ball were now staring back at her, and she realized that if he touches her, she would give up, even though she did not want to. She is worthy of far more than just a little passion. Colin did not feel the love and appreciation that she deserved.

Penelope: '' Colin, leave!'' she said serious and he took few steps back, turned around and left her room-

Colin strolled back to his own house from the Featherington's. He wanted to think, he needed fresh air, and he was unable to go inside. He proceeded to the rear of the garden and spotted Anthony sitting on a banch.

Anthony: '' Brother, where were you at this late hour?'' -said, glancing at him-

Colin: '' I just needed a breath of fresh air.''

Anthony: "Is there something bothering you?" - inquired as Colin took a seat beside him.

Colin: "No, not at all. You?''

Anthony: ''I just needed to breathe the same clean air. All of this happiness is overwhelming me a little bit. Kate is pregnant, you are getting married and I will find all the happiness conceivable if I can calm down Eloise and Benedict.''

Colin: "Those two are difficult to catch." -he said with a smirk

Anthony: '' I thought that about myself too and look at me now. '' -laughed-

Colin: '' How did you know..that Kate was the one?''

Anthony: ''I'm not sure, but I knew that when she wasn't there, I was having trouble breathing. She challenged me in every way; I'm not sure how to put it, but she was the correct choice.''

Colin: ''And you found nothing troubling about her?''

Anthony: '' Of course it was and still is, she vexes me evey day of my life but that is what I love most about her.  Mother advised me before I married Kate. She advised me to love her flaws before her virtues.''

Colin: "On occasion, the flaws may be too significant to ignore."

Anthony: '' Colin, is something wrong? Are you referring to Penelope? '' -Colin raised his head and looked at him- '' You're not sure you should marry her, Colin?''

Colin: '' No, of course not. My desire to wed her hasn't changed. ''

Anthony: '' But you appear disturbed, anxious. Do you have any other motive for marrying her? ''

Colin: '' What do you mean? ''

Anthony: ''Have you compromised her? Is that the reason behind your marriage to her? ''

Colin: '' Not, that is not the reason. She is the only lady that satisfies every requirement I have ever had for a wife, so I want to marry her, but I recently realized that she has some flaws that might be difficult to overlook. ''

Anthony: '' Do you love her? ''

Colin: '' I do, I love her.I realized tonight that I had been in love with her for a long time, but I chose to travel and ignore my feelings since I didn't know how to express them. This season, in response to all I had stated about her last season, she treated me very differently, was extremely angry and I felt like I was going to lose her forever. That completely opened my eyes. Not only was I losing a friend, but I was also losing the woman of my life.''

Anthony: ''I'd want to offer you some advice now. Learn to love her flaws if you truly love her. Embrace her flaws.''

Colin: '' Thank you, brother. '' -he stood up- '' I believe I should go to sleep and you should go with your wife.''